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MONOGAMY

The topic today ladies, is ““monogamy””.  Now, can anyone tell us what ““monogamy”” is…

You there, at the front staring blankly into your screen.  A type of people that live in the Brazilian rainforest…?  No, let's try again.  

You, with the glasses… a sexual position?  I'm gonna give you a Silver Star for imagination, but no still, not quite there yet.

Ladies, “monogamy” is in fact not only a physical constitution but also a state of mind.

There are few animals in the world today that stay faithful to their partners for life. Goats are amongst these - but they only stay together for the sake of the kids (get it, the kids?)  Forgive me, I had to put that one in, after all, it is 6.20 in the morning and I can't seem to sleep. Now I know that I've been through my fair share of relationships - some I've ended, and some I've definitely not expected to ever end, until that is, the bastard looks me lovingly in the eye and says… “Baby, we got to talk”.  However, I can honestly say that most of these relationships have ended because those bastards, who claim to be men, have cheated on me at one, but mostly more, time in our state of togetherness.  (Can I get a witness)?

The word Monogamy never meant that much to me for a very long time…. Here’s my story.

 

There was J, I really thought he was the one for me.  He was 20 and I was 15.  He came to see me at school, dressed in the finest baffs, driving a cool ride and he always brought me Terries or ice cream.  Whenever he travelled to Jand, he always brought me back a little something, something (although with time, I pressured him to make that little something into a bigger everything).

Anyway, off he went to University and I started hearing rumours that he was catching “callo” with some yellow babe up there.  When I confronted him, he explicitly denied all knowledge of wrong doing, as the once great leader of the western world said " I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman" and me like the mugu I fell for it all - hook, line and sinker. After a while, he made a major error in tactical manoeuvres.  He hit on a very good friend of mine who was also at QC and she told me (That was after I caught him kissing this other woman mind) … Anyway, I finally had the common sense to end it.

Now, moving on to the gorgeous “S”.  One thing I do know for sure is that this fella genuinely liked me (YIPEE).  However, I got so much stick from friends because he always came empty handed to see me in school and wasn’t like the other guys who always brought stuff for their lasses… (What a young fool I was).  Eventually, I cheated on him.   Then, because I wanted to clear my conscience, told him that it could never work (blah, blah, blah.) Eventually, he gave up the begging and moved on.

Then we graduated, I left and got myself prepared for uni life, oh how I was bamboozled.  His name was B. I was introduced to him through my cousin.  It was a double date and this I thought, was REALLY it!   We hit it off and after a few months of seeing each other, I took him home to meet “La Familia”.   We would spend Sunday at the beach, he would cook for me, he was FINE, and the things he could do with his tongue, oooooooooh, makes a lady wanna blush! (Ok – sorry girl, got a bit carried away there).   After almost a year, I found out that I wasn't the only woman he was making blush.

 

So, my sisters, after a long and complicated withdrawal from that relationship, he was gone too. Moving on to Y…  I'm gonna be straight with you here ladies, this was one of those relationships where the guy - loves you more than you will EVER, POSSIBLY, LOVE, THEM!  I stayed with him cos he was good to me and it was comfortable, and, bla, bla, bla… I know! It sounds callous but hey! it's the truth.  So, eventually, I did the big “C”… I cheated on him (come on now, you aint surprised are you?).  He eventually found out and confronted me, I apologised, expected him to tell me to get the hell out of his life – (drop his car keys whilst I was at it), but NOOOOO.  Instead, he turned around and said he loved me and that he would forgive me as long as it never happen again.  (HELLO!).

So anyway, by this time (I think), the issue of “monogamy” started to ponder on me.  I knew it existed for a reason, but, I truly believed it was a state of affairs that was only achievable for other people.  After all, I had friends that were so deliriously happy with their partners, that, to watch them together made your heart ache - I mean, what was a girl to think. My parents weren't together anymore - I come from a broken marriage.  I originate from a country where polygamy is a standard, and my state of mind was very unclear about where I stood with this word.

“Monogamy” to me was like a diet - you wanna do it, you know the benefits will be worth it, but ITS SOOOO blimming HARD!

Eventually ladies, something happened to me nearly a year ago…

YEP! I met a man. No really! I'm serious!  I’ve finally met that person who cares for me so much that everyday, I thank God for putting me in his life.  This fella aint just a talker ladies, he ‘s also a doer! This fella knows exactly how to show me, in EVERY possible way, how much he loves and cares for me.   We don’t even get to see each other as much as we would like – he lives in a different continent, but what's distance for a short time, when you can actually visualise your whole life with this one person?

The thing is ladies, since meeting this fella, I can now tell you what “monogamy” is…

Are you ready for this? It’s very simple… 

“Monogamy” is when you know a relationship can and will NEVER, EVER, EVER get any better, than with the one you’ve got!

Till next time...
A Friend

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