To:    All Radiologic Technologists

From:   Chief of Radiology

Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

I believe some techs have been hanging out with
the fire department and other EMT's and picked up
on some unacceptable abbreviations.
It has come to our attention from several
emergency rooms that many techs narratives have
taken a decidedly creative direction lately.
Effective immediately, all members are to refrain
from using slang and abbreviations
to describe patients, such as the following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to
with MUH (messed up heart),
PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or
HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots."
Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for
Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t),
FDGB (fall down, go boom),
TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper."
Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not
have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to
vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration
syndrome."

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals,
not "glow worms."

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result
of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically
gifted."

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not
"trans-occipital implants."

7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor
is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC
Challenge".

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased
persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room
temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas),
CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long
playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the
cultural diversity of our patients to include
their medical orientations in creating proper
narratives and log entries.