12:14p   
Broken  hearted is not a good reason to committ suicide.
Losing her is not a good reason to committ suicide.
Suicide only ends your pain...it creates even more pain in others.
If she has used you for her own selfish reasons, suicide will not "get back at her".
Suicide is NOT harmless. It hurts. It hurts like hell.

If there IS a fiery hell, suicide is the surest way to get there.

Do you want eternal damnation because a girl used you?

Life was before here. Life will be after her.

Pain is just a sign of weakness leaving the body.

You will love another girl some day.

She will never love anyone again.

Use her like she used you. Use her to understand that Love is NOT all you need.

Use her

Use her

Use her

and then forget her. Let her leave your life, your mind, your body.

Triumph over her by living.
 

You are NOT a monster. You ARE a good person. Thousands of women are looking just for you. Life will continue and you will find her.

she was not THE ONE. she was not THE ONE. she was not THE ONE.

let her say her goodbyes and learn that she cannot love. Leave her to live her own tortured life.

YOU WILL FUCKING LIVE GOD DAMNIT! THE PAIN SHE CAUSED...SHE CAUSED

SHE CAUSED

it will pass. It will take time. It will hurt like nothing else ever could...but it will pass. You will see beauty again. You will find meaning again. You will find your way. You will once more find joy in life without her presence. Continuing to want her will only tear you apart again and again and again and again and again and one day you will NOT RECOVER.

RECOVER FROM THIS, from her, from pain. Go on living. 

GO ON LIVING. 

7:10p 
I was the BEST thing that ever happened to her. I am a GOOD person. She doesn't deserve my heart, and i don't deserve what she's done to me.

Before I met her, I had (mostly) everything figured out. I understood as much as I ever could about myself and my place in this world. I loved myself and i loved my life. I loved what my future entailed.

I gave her a piece of that love...i gave her all the love I could ever give...and she just pissed it away. She made me doubt myself, made me forget everything about myself that is good. She is the one caused all my pain...not me. She is the one made the big mistakes...not me. She is the one who had everything to gain...not me.

I love her. I still have a small, itsy bitsy little piece of my soul that is capable of forgiveness...but it's not going to be easy for her. She is going to have to FIGHT like cerebus to ever have me back...as anything. She had better think long and hard about what she puts in her email to me. She had better find *something* to explain herself and she had better bleed her heart dry to make it up to me...or it's her loss.

Her loss.

NOT mine.

I WILL survive her. I WILL be a stronger man because of all this. And I'm not just saying it to convince myself.

I don't need to convince myself of anything...all i need do is remember myself. 

greeneyed_devil 
2002-11-26 09:33 
Sounds like you're on the right path, kiddo!

 
oddharmonic 
2002-11-26 15:16 
*claps* Good for you, querido!

Now when the muffins arrive, you can use them to celebrate the goodness of your life. (: 

7:29p - Remembering myself 
Yes. I have found the power to love myself again. 

I have restored my past. 
 
 

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