because i think it's what she needs to do.

but I'm afraid because I don't know if it's just me trying to control her still...because I think i understand now that's what I've been trying to do all along.

i vowed that i would not contact her again until she told me her decision...but should I break that vow and send this?

i could really use some advice.

-----------------------------------------------------
Katrina,
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. I don't know where
you might be in your decision making process...but I'm advising you to go.
I'm not saying this because i no longer want you in my life...the truth is 
still far from that. I'm saying this because i really think it will be 
better for you.
I hurt you Katrina. I took the purest emotion a person can have,
and i made it ugly. It doesn't matter what the reasons are. It doesn't
matter that I'm in therapy. It doesn't matter that i am beginning to
understand just what I've done and who I've been. It doesn't matter that 
if there was anyway I could go back in time, I would. What matters is that I 
hurt you.
I'm advising you to leave me to your past Katrina, and to try not to
take too much of all this with you. I say this not because I don't believe
in your strength, or your ability to overcome obsticles...but because I
don't want to be another obsticle in your life. I don't want
you to think you have any obligation based on whatever feelings you once
had. I don't want you to think about what losing you means to me. I don't
want you to do anything that will make your life any harder.
If i ever come back into your life I don't know if i will ever stop
believing we could have a relationship someday. That's not your fault.
That's my fault. This is something you need to understand though if you
want to forgive me...it will make friendship awkward at times. Being my
friend after this will may be such a rosy proposition because of how I
treated you...we will neither one of us ever forget it. I remember you said
once that you can't close doors...and I have the utmost respect for
that...but i ask you to close this one for your own sake.
This is only advice. The decision is yours Katrina. Make it in your 
own due time, and make it for yourself. In the meantime, I am trying to put 
this in my past...not forget...i will never forget...just...reshape myself. 

-glen 

My Thoughts 
banzooken 
2002-12-09 04:19 
Naturally you are going to do whatever you want to do... but I will offer you my thoughts anyways.

Dont send it. Seriously. If you want her to walk away because it will make things easier for you then by all means tell her thats what you need. But dont ask her to make a choice and then go and try to make it for her... it defeats the purpose. She is a grown woman (I assume, I have no clue how old she is) she can and will make her own decision, in due time. 
Trying to save someone from yourself never works out right. Trust me. I have tried many times and I always fail. 

Give her the chance to decide with out you pushing her in one direction or the other.
 
greeneyed_devil 
2002-12-09 13:00 
Sometimes it's therapeutic to just write that letter but never send it. Keep it somewhere and either keep it forever or eventually destroy it. I have a whole box of letters that I wrote but never sent. 

oddharmonic 
2002-12-09 14:29 
Don't send it. I'll second everything here on the therapeutic value of writing letters that you don't send. (And believe me, I've got some doozies... you know about the turbulence of summer 2001 and I think that says it all.) 
 

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