Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar,

     I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of
     being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion
     fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that
     poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to
     have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show. Do you honestly
     believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid
     are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every
     Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK
     YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
     forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in
     my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by King Herrod in 5 A.D. and was brought
     to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the
     Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them.

     If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the
     "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
     somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking
     care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out
     forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

                                           

                      THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

               CHAIN LETTER ONE
               CHAIN LETTER TWO
               CHAIN LETTER THREE
               CHAIN LETTER FOUR

The point being?

     If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your           life,delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper         in  Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is         the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda.               Right?
     Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all your knickers missing tomorrow
     morning.