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2 towers 5960 people still missing in the World Trade Centre rubble 20 families lost more than one member in the attacks 65 countries that had nationals killed in the attacks £350,000 estimated amount spent by attackers in preparation for the attacks £2.74 bn estimated life insurance payouts after attacks 10 speechs made by George "small eyes" Bush (all the same) 2 men killed in East Rainton Co Durham when bus shelter collapsed on them after hit by car 20% of office space lost in New York financial district 1.2 m tonnes of rubble will take a year to clear £27.74 bn est cost of clear-up and rebuilding in Lower Manhattan 51st state of the USA (thats us folks) 1 million phone calls to red cross offering to donate blood 30,000 US citizens have had trauma therapy 800% increase in bomb threats in Boston since attacks 5 amount of Stars and stripes flags seen on one car in New Jersey 2 14 17 22 38 44 this weeks lottery numbers (bonus 35) with jackpot of £6.5 m £11,000 market price for a Glasgow car parking space 34% decline in reported crime in NY one week after attacks 65% decline in arrests in NY over last week 7,000 FBI personnel involved in the investigation £20.6 m bounty offered by US for info towards capture on Bin-liner 480 arrested or detained in connection with the case since 11 sept £296 m for former playboy model Anne Nicole Smith gets for 16 months of marriage to the late John Howard Marshall II 57 years between the above two lovebirds 1 brain cell shared between David and Victoria Beckham (he's got it this week) 140,000 job losses suffered by aircraft industry £4.9 bn amount lost by Bill Gates since 11 sept £14 m lawsuit from Arnie Schwarzenegger accusing slot machine company of illicit use of his likeness (crazy fucker) 508 number of pieces a man in South India cut a mustard seed into using a razor blade 100,000 bits of cucumber sliced by man from Bangalore 4 years ago (honest guv) 26 asylum seekers found in back of van at Dover suffering from dehydration 1 German woman driver in custody for above crime 7.5 m displaced Afghans now in need of aid £400 m amount Kofi Annan has called for to help above £350 m amount allready raised in US for victims of attacks £11 m pledged by UK gov to help Pakistan feed refugees £20,000 amount Bin-liner says US owes all world muslims for "theft of oil" 31.5 % literacy rate in Afghanistan (same as in Hull) 1 hamster found in plastic exercise ball on hard shoulder of M6 motorway near Birmingham 45,000 estimated combat force of Taliban 30,000 ?number of illiterate Taliban soldiers (see above literacy rate) 30,000 US servicemen in region 2 number of points Grimsby Town won out of last 15 lots of love to you all Glennie Oh yeah so what is this bombshell?? no not a cessation in the bombing, no tie-up with the Liberals/Tories and not the IRA actually concreting some guns and semtex in an impenetreble bunker but the most staggering and amazing news that the mighty Jah weed, ganga, spliff, toke, grass, shit, bung, dope etc etc etc is now legally as illegal as steroids and sniffing glue and from a class A drug it now allows itself to be categorised as class C and you may have an equivelent as a parking ticket should you be caught blowin in the wind with the mighty Quinn................mmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmmmm nice eh... Can I now be officially christened Wacky backy [ cheers Roo-boy] and even though my lungs will no longer take anything like as much blow (virtually none these days) as in the past it makes me once again proud that I put my faith in the Blairite revolution and apart from a few cock-ups that we are all aware of I'm sure that they will get my vote next time ( bit tame really as there is never and never has been a snowball in hells chance of me voting for the fuckup crew of Thatch/Major/Hague and now Ian Drunken Smith. So let us rejoice and immediately take a trip to our local dealer, score some fine Morrocan/Leb/Durban Poison/Afghani??? and load up the pipe for some peace, love and understanding........ Well done Mr Blunkett and more power to your guide dogs....... So onto more mundane things like footie and fellatio......the bump on Helen is expanding/exploding at a frightening rate and she predicts a rather large blob will appear in April........me thinks Leon is a good name for a little fella....., Rory is also in the pot...........other more ridiculous names ( Osama, George, Kohlin (colin??) Sven, Spud, Orlando, Rufus, Garcia, Donovan [not with Dylan??] have been dumped and not got an idea what to call a goil...I still fancy India May but have been out-voted by the strife...she would like Lillian May which by an amazing co-incidence was my mothers name....Dylan is getting quite cocky and manages to speak his mind and tell us what to do quite often these days (trouble at mill) but is still a source of amazement and wonderment....anyone fancy a boozy weekend next July then contact myself or Briggy and book in for Cambridge next year as it should be a gas........anyone wanting to help with the babysitting of a 3 month old will be greated with warmth and appreciation and a bottle of SMA gold (babyfood for the uninitiated). Am settling into a wine induced haze after an afternoon on Cleethorpes seafront with Dylan and waiting for some excellent Radio Chuff commentary from Burns and Tondeur on Grimsby at Manchester City and expecting a heavy defeat but then again I expected the same the other week when we played Liverpool but against all the odds we won..shame that before and after that night we have managed to drop from top to 18th position and playing no better than the Long John Silver Impersonaters XI did against the Goole and District Amateur River-wideners did when the lost 73-1 in the East Lincolnshire Rivers Authority 3rd XI Challenge Cup of 1964. As some of you may know I finally got round to cancelling my trip to India (soon to be emulated by the English Cricket team) and have managed to talk the most reverend Mr Gunn into hosting yours truly for a week in Durango in early december and am more than looking forward to a tripover the big pond courtesy of United Airlines (hope they have beefed up there security since sept). Am really sad having top cancell as was so looking forward to another dose of diarrhoea and lentil dal by the bucket load......seriously reccomed the sub-continent to all with stone-hard constitutions and a sense of the bizzarre. If any of you have the ability to view satellite TV, Channel 4 in the UK of HBO over the pond (or their equivalent in the rest of the world) I really do reccomend a show called The West Wing....based loosely on Clinton and dealing with stories arround the US pres, his advisors and press etc and it amazingly well written, shot, scripted, acted and is one of the most enjoyable TV (american to boot) programmes I have ever seen......so waht the fuck...you dont like it...hey thats it....... I now realise that by this time some of you will have got bored/fallen asleep/died/fallen over drunk but that one or two of you may even have managed to get this far so I salute you and wish you all the best and the ability to even reply with a) what a load of shite... b) can't be bothered I must go for my yearly bath(applies to southern hemisphere only)............ c) can't breathe I've inhalled anthrax (sick or what)........... d) who are you I dissowned you years ago ....... e) I haven't paid my service provider for months now.......... f) Glenn who????? but maybe even with some sort of recognition this side of the birth of #2 Showler child Yo dudes Glennie |
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