picture by Jupiter
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Help!
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I'm still alive and I'm freaking out. Actually I've been doing that for awhile now - the week before was filled with activity but the inevitable two minutes before falling asleep were still scary.
I was fine for a long time, just doing everything that needed to be done for the move but I didn't actually realize I was doing it for myself, it was more like helping someone else. I had a schedule: The first part of the plan went brilliantly. I found a great substitute for myself and therefore didn't leave my boss hanging by my decision to leave. I brought some food to work on the last day and we consumed it during the day - and managed, even, to get some work done. I invited Ellie to celebrate my last day and we drank wine and ate the leftover chicken and cake. Perfectly executed! The second part was just as good. I ran around with Shauna and Rhi, showing them everything I could think of and trying not to overdo it (I'm not quite sure I succeeded in that but you'll have to ask them). I even got to do some stuff I haven't done before, liking climbing the church tower (257 steep and narrow steps originating from the Middle Ages. It's not easy, people!) and try the actual swords used in the wars during the last 10 centuries (pictures coming later). The third part went well, too. Even though I only got 4 hours of sleep that night. My going-away party was fun and I loved seeing so many of my friends there. The sad thing about it hit me when Shauna and Rhi, who were also there, mentioned that it was so great I got that many friends - it really made me realise how much I was going to miss all of them. I can't imagine ever replacing them. Like Ellie said, when we were walking home and I felt extremely drunk even though I'd only had a few glasses of wine - I get drunk emotionally. I only get drunk when I feel safe enough and when I'm surrounded by those I trust. I think it's going to be a long time until I feel drunk again. Now I've reached the fourth item on my list and that's not going very well. I'm panicking! I have a lot of things I haven't done, people I haven't said goodbye to, errands I haven't run. And I'm leaving in 5 1/2 days. Someone get me a clone! I need someone to copy my passport, arrange my money, settle with the mobile connection provider, assign my Brother's girlfriend as my representative, pack my things, buy the things I still need, clean out my computer, burn everything on CDs, settle the bills... Oh great! This is getting me even more depressed and panicky! I need help!
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