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Sigh. It's over. No more massive explosions. No more 15-minute car chases. No more fight-scenes with wirework. It's time for the calmer stuff until the holiday season. So what were this years summer movie pickings? What was good? What was bad? What should have gone direct-to-video? Let's take a peek back.
Biggest Disappointment; 'Van Helsing'. I really enjoyed both 'Mummy' movies, and hearing Dracula up for a reinterpretation got me VERY hyped-up! And Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing? Cool! Kate Beckinscale as a fellow vampire hunter? Sweet! So how was the movie? Oh boy... I feel asleep. No, I'm not kidding. In the middle of the scene with the stagecoach I nodded off. What I remember most of the movie is Van Helsing in the village for the first time, fighting three vampires who are flying in the air (and showing lots of cleavage as well as amazing CGI.) with this cool crossbow/machine gun... and watching him fire... and fire... and fire... AND CONSTANTLY MISSING! Ok, ok, so this is the first time you've used this gun, but still YOU'RE THE FREAKING HERO, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO MISS! Rambo, Arnold, heck even Matt Damon as Jason Bourne didn't miss as much as Van Helsing did! And it just all went downhill from there. Sigh.
First Movie To Deal With 'LOTR comparison'; 'Troy'. Ah, let the backlash begin! For the next five years, we'll be going; 'Wow, Pelennore fields was much more impressive', 'Ya know, Aragorn had much more angst', 'Wasn't Legolas a better shot?' If the films after 'Star Wars' had to deal with it, consider this a new rite-of-passage for epics in the post 'LOTR' market. I liked 'Troy'. Ok, so Brad Pitt's face was much too clean, but you gotta admit his fighting moves were very cool, and very original. (It didn't look like Wu-Shu, Kaporia, or any other system I'm familiar with. If any one knows, please e-mail me. I'm curious.) And Eric Bana carried the movie as Hector; the reluctant warrior trying to be the voice of reason facing an unstoppable army at his doorstep.
Pleasant Surprise; 'I Robot'. Ducking quickly beneath my armor-plated desk to dodge the bullets and grenades of the Azimov fans out there. Let me explain, ok? First, the bean counters in Hollywood DO NOT CARE ABOUT MAKING A SCI-FI FLICK WITHOUT EXPLOSIONS. That is the cold, ugly, money-driven truth. Deal with it. Besides... depending on whom you talk to either 'A.I.' was brilliant... or you needed a LOT of drugs to get it. Anyway, why did I like 'I, Robot'? This was actually a detective story. No, it wasn't a detective story like 'The Usual Suspects' or 'LA Confidential'. However for something with Will Smith, robots, and a release in July, this had a neat number of twists, turns, and far less explosions then most Will Smith films. No, this isn't the best thing ever made, but it's also NOT as bad as, oh, 'Firebirds'... wow, and that's pretty bad.
Movie That Tried To Be Great; 'King Arthur'. When I heard about this film, I cheered. Something to follow the footsteps of Boorman's classic 'Excalibur', this time being historically accurate. Ah... Bruckheimer is producing... ok... interesting... and directed by... gulp... Antoine Fuqua. Ok... this could... oh boy. The movie isn't BAD... which is the most tragic thing. Clive Owns looks like a rugby player more then the cliched Pretty Boy hero. This makes him so effective as Arthur leading his knights to battle against a huge army of Saxons. The story tries to take a different slant on the horrible life for peasants during the period. Unfortunately the movie's release was pushed up by about six months and the rating changed from 'R' 'to 'PG-13' (NOT Antoine Fuqua's and not David Franzoni's (screenwriter) idea. Remember the bean counters? Their idea, not his.) lead to a change in the story. Granted, not HUGE... but just enough to keep the true vision of this film from coming to light. Ok, so maybe the 'final' version wasn't going to be brilliant, but it never got the chance it deserved.
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