February 20th, Sunday

I feel so much better today then i did just a couple of days ago. Yesterday i met the people from Girls Wanna Have Fun (GWHF) for the first time. If you read my last entry, then you know that it had been getting a bit dubious wether i would even go (after looking forward to it all week) because there were communication-problems, and there was no way i would be able to get to the meeting-place. So i had to reach Barbara, who organized the outing, but she doesn't have e-mail, so Angela, my contact at GWHF, had to get my mail, then snail-mail it to Barbara, and she then check her mail-box on saturday morning and phone me, all that hopefully just in time.

As it was it all worked out perfectly, i was still happyly drowsing in bed when the phone rang. And that's when i figured out that i'd forgotten the train-timetables that i'd carefully printed out on Friday night. Well, i still remembered well enough when my train would be arriving, and we got the minimum sorted out (that somebody would fetch me at the station) when, just as she was going to give me her number so that we could reach each other in case anything went wrong, my phone went dead (no more battery-charge). Okay, re-charge the phone, call my parents (almost woke them, they were only just getting up) to ask them to look when my train left and where i'd have to change trains, and then hope that Barbara phones again.

That worked out fine too, and for the time being i had no more worries. I even had time to finish my book before getting ready (comes of being woken so early on Saturday morning) then shower, dress, make-up, all the little details, i'm sure you know how it goes (well, not very sure, i honestly don't have a clue who you are who are reading this... why don't you add yourself to the guest-book, or drop me a mail?). Of course i ended up being in an awful hurry to catch the train after all, i got to the station just in time to get some croissants for breakfast, and restock on ciggies, and of i was. The train ride went wonderfully, by now i'm quite sure that i don't get any looks because i pass without any problems, the ticket-controllers were very friendly, and when at one station i asked an official where my train left he answered me with madame quite naturaly.

The weather was getting better all the time too. When Barbara rang it was overcast and rainy, but it was getting better all the time, and 10 minutes before i was due to arrive i was sitting in bright warming sunshine. But that was quite treasonous, when i got of the train it was snowing and raining all mixed up, and hard. the weather did get a lot better, very soon, but then in the evening it started snowing properly, and snowed all night long, and all morning. That was beautiful. But anyway, i waited at the station for about 10 minutes, and then was picked up by Petra, who'd come ahead, and together we went up to Gruyères, which is a very well preserved town and castle from the middle ages. Very soon i had to tell Petra that it was only 2 weeks since i'd gone out for the first time (she'd asked), and she told me that i did it very well *blush*. We waited for the others in a café, and while Petra was in the lady's Barbara came in to see if this was the café we were in. I didn't know that it was Barbara, but i immiediatly saw that she had to be one of us (i mean GWHF). Only she (who was after all on the lookout for us) didn't notice that i was one of them. A bit later i overheard Petra telling her own story of this little event to another girl, and she was saying that Barbara hadn't noticed me because i look so perfect. What a compliment.

Well, then we visited the castle, and i got my first chance to observe people like me in action. First comment: Girls, you use too much make-up. Don't you notice that you make it a lot more difficult for yourself? The amount of make-up some of you put on, you downright attract attention. You make it obvious to everybody that something is up, and once somebody starts wondering, they're bound to figure out sooner or later what's up. Of course for some of you it might be part of the whole experience that you want people to notice, that you want to provoke. But if you're trying to pass, to just be accepted as a lady, then don't over-do it. Same thing goes for clothes, high heels, wigs, etc. Please don't get me wrong, i'm not critizising, you have every right to do as you want to, and i'm happy for you if that is how you like it. But if you're just trying to pass, then don't exagerate. As Franca asked me late at night when we were falling asleep: but you use so little make-up? (i'd just told her that the first things i'd bought for myself had been make-up). If i used any more, then i wouldn't pass.

We sure were a varied and rowdy lot, that much for certain. We were such a varied bunch. Age-wise up from me (i think i was by far the youngest) over the whole range to Susanne, who's pensioned (and (in my opinion) probably the one who passes best). From occasional cross-dressers who are just barely out to their SO all the way to the post-op who came with her girlfriend (i'm impressed). Anyway, and this goes to all the girls i met, i'm impressed by you all. The way you are all going your own way, how amazingly strong you all are.

After visiting the castle, which also boasts quite an impressive art-collection, and warming up with hot choclate and cream (Gruyères is famed for it's triple-thick cream) we went on to the hotel where we were going to have dinner and eventualy sleep (i didn't know yet that i was going to sleep there, i was planning to catch the last train home, or otherwise to Zürich (the last train leaves a whole lot later)). But everything got a whole lot later then i had planned, and when Franca offered me to share her room (she'd gotten it as a single, but there was a double bed) for only the extra cost it would take to upgrade to a double, i was ever so glad.

I'm going to sum up the rest of the evening, because it's gotten awful late, and i don't have much time left to write today. We had an excellent meal of Fondue Chinoise, and for once there was even a really good vegetarien option (how often have i been at big luxurious dinners, and for vegetariens there was at best a vegetable-plate?), a huge salad buffet, and they brought the dessert-choices by on a little chariot (unfortunatly i wasn't very hungry anymore). Summing up the conversation would be even more difficult, suffice to say that (i think) we all enjoyed the evening, and it was very educational just listening to the experiences of all the others. Also the waiters were very polite. Unfortunatly i developed one of those headaches, but i asked for an aspirin, and the waiter brought me a whole selection of painkillers. If i'd wanted to i could have doped myself up quite easily just on those. But happily i don't need dope anymore. I also stuck firmly to my mineral water, and let those that can handle it drink the chardonnay (or was it cabarnet sauvignon?). That way it got to be midnight before we left the table for the bar, or home, or the dancing (not for me, i wasn't stepping outside, not the way it was snowing). Then whispering in bed before falling asleep (and how long has it been since i done that?).

I have to end this now (for tonight), or i'll miss the last bus home. I'll write more tomorrow.

Love, Ruby

And a great big thank you to Barbara and everybody from GWHF!