What? Why? Huh?

What is self harm?

This is covered on most self harm sites and in books, but I'll give you my take on it anyway. I see self harm as a coping mechanism. If you hurt yourself you're not crazy. You just don't have any other way to cope - so you inflict pain and injury on your body intentionally. Self harm covers a lot of behaviours, for example: cutting, scratching, burning, hair pulling, hitting, picking at your skin. There doesn't have to be scars or blood for self harm to be serious. It's all in your state of mind - if you're attacking your body to avoid dealing with your emotions & thoughts then you are self harming and have a problem.

Doesn't that hurt?

When I first started self harming yes, it did hurt. I remember hurting myself whilst sucking chocolate so it would take my mind off the pain. At this point the pain stopped me from cutting too severely. But then as the months went by, I became numb to the pain a little. It still did hurt, but in my mind I could overcome it. The stinging started to feel good. Sometimes it didn't hurt until the next day. My skin also felt really itchy when the cuts healed.

What about piercings & tattoos?

Tracy Alderman, the author of 'The Scarred Soul', thinks that body modifications are not self harm. I understand her point, because most people don’t pierce or tattoo their own body - they go to a professional. I do think that some people get piercings because they like how they look...but other people are pierced to feel the pain. Personally, piercings were a form of self harm for me. I got some piercings in order to stop myself from cutting.

Is self harm related to suicide?

Self harm is not a suicide attempt. Someone who harms himself or herself usually does not want to die. Self harm is a coping mechanism – a way to stay alive when your feelings of depression and pain are unbearable. However, someone who self harms may become so depressed that they may feel suicidal. Always take thoughts, talk or threats of suicide seriously & get help.

Why would anyone hurt himself or herself on purpose?

Good question. It doesn’t seem logical that someone would cause himself or herself harm. Everyone had personal reasons for self harming, but here are a few of the most common. Please know that I am not trying recommending self harm as an answer to any of these situations. I'm just trying to explain the mindset of a self harmer to help you better understand yourself & to help the public better understand self harm:

To establish control.
You might feel that you have no control in your life, so you harm yourself to have control over your own body.
To make emotional pain visible.
You can't see feelings but you can see blood, wounds & scars. If your emotions have been invalidated then you may doubt what you feel. You can 'prove to yourself' that your emotions are real and important by physically expressing them.
To communicate.
It's often hard to express feelings in words. You may not be able to identify & express how you feel but self harm can be a way of letting the world know "I'm not ok. I'm in pain. Someone hurt me." This can be the case even if you show your wounds / scars to no-one.
To provide relief from unbearable feelings.
Self harm can be used as a coping mechanism to lessen uncomfortable physical & psychological sensations. This may seem contradictory, but if self harm wasn't effective in this way then it wouldn't be so addictive. The problem with self harm as a coping mechanism is that it only provides temporary relief. It also creates futher problems such as shame, guilt & deeper depression. Futhermore you have to increase the frequency & severity of injuries to find the same relief - just like you must increase the amount of alcohol / drugs you consume to feel the same 'buzz'.

You may find seeing blood cathartic. It might seem like your bad feelings are flowing away with the flow of the blood.
Stopping, inducing or preventing dissociation.
Dissociation is a psychological state of mind where your consciouness is altered. You tend to feel floaty, detached from your body, spaced out & distant. You might feel like you're watching yourself, as if you're in a movie. Dissocation can be used as a defense mechanism to detach your mind from traumatic situations or intense emotional states. Some people become dissociated in the moments prior to self harm. The intense emotions just before self harm induce a state of detachment. Other people become frightened at the unreality of being dissociated and so hurt themself to reconnect with their physical self, thus ending the dissociated state.
To evoke euphoric feelings.
When your body is injured physically, it releases substances called endorphins which have a similar pain killing effect to morphine. The endorphins produce pleasant physical feelings & can be addictive. However you quickly build up a tolerance to this.
Self punishment.
You may have been made to feel like bad, terrible person whose feelings, thoughts and behaviour is wrong. You may feel like you deserve to be punished because you are bad. :( You may blame yourself for events in the past. This distorted self perception may lead to acts of harm against the self.
Re-enacting previous abuse.
You may have flashbacks to traumatic & damaging abuse. In this altered state you might hurt yourself in the same way or in a similar way to how you were abused. This is more common in individuals with Dissociated Identity Disorder.
To self nurture.
Physical wounds can be symbolic of emotional wounds. It's often hard to care of injured feelings, but a wound is something tangible that can be taken care of. You might have a ritual for taking care of cuts, bruises or burns. This allows you to connect with yourself & look after your body.

One of my poll questions asks you to pick the reason why you self harm. It's interesting to see that out of over 300 participants, around 45% of self harmers picked "To provide relief from unbearable feelings." The second most popular response, at around 15%, is "To punish myself...to cause myself pain." It may be hard to pick a reason why, as the reason often varies from day to day or week to week.