The Brown Book Writings

By Josh White

My Theory on Time Travel

Thesis- In order for time travel to be possible, all time would have to exist simultaneously, stretching into infinity both past and present. So what, you ask? I'll tell you what. As I dried my leg upon exiting the shower yesterday, this theory occured to me. All will be revealed eventually. There are 2 possible outcomes that my theory will have on my short time on this hurtling orb: 1) I will be viewed as a total jackass, useful only to mop vomit from the corners of earth's dirtiest sesspools, or 2) I will be revered as a genius, a god, an idol, and a saint. I will have unlocked the answer to one of man's most enigmatic and pondered questions: Can we pass through the course fabric of time to visit yesterday's friends and tomorrow's saviors?

The answer that occured to me (and which seemed quite obvious as I squeeged the water from my leg with that beautiful rectangle of earth' softest flower) was an astounding and earth shaking probably not.

What, What, WHAT?!?!?!?! you may ask. That's right, probably not. Because, my friends, I realized that as I continued on from my leg to my back, that time most likely does not fold back upon itself like a geisha woman's fan, but does, in fact, spread out like a physics lecture in both directions. Of course, there are little folds, which account for deja vu's and the occasional midget who thinks he's Geronimo, but by and large God has ironed time out to a fine seam and starched the hell out of it so that it's tendency to double back is defeated. Es todo.