Various Little Tidbits of Knowledge

• What do you think about rice weevils?

• It is my learned opinion that your body's reset system has something to do with your navel and your appendix.

• If you're ugly and its morning, work at Frisch's.

• You could conceivably melt tungsten with the heat in my frined Patty's truck.

• The snuggle bear (from the commercials) scares the crap out of me.

• I believe, no offense, that my friend Patty's father has a small face. Not a small head, a small face. Perhaps an illustration will help:

• Now, doesn't that seem just a little strange to anyone else?
• Patty was, for a time, named a biotch because she was going to give away the pack of Horny Goat Weed that I bought for her in Gatlinburg.
• Ejaculation is one of the funniest words in the English language.
• Patty gave me womens underwear for my birthday. I wore them, and was quite disappointed by their high level of itchiness.
• The father of one of the teachers at my former high school has one tooth for both his upper and lower jaw. It is a rather interesting sight.
• My brothers neighbor believes that his pressure washer is, and I quote "Strong enough to shoot the (nipple) rings out of your (my brother's) titties." Isn't that grand?
• Did you know that the real name for vampirism is porphyria, and is also known as The Madness of King George.
• As I made a sandwich next to my friend Matt's Aunt Geri, she issued a stern warning for me not to miss and shoot my mayonaise all over her. Hehe.
• In the song Hotel California by the Eagles, when they sing the lines " So I called up the captain, Please bring me my wine, and he said We haven't had that spirit here since 1969." do they mean spirit as in alcohol, or spirit as in the spirit of the man calling up the captain. Interesting, eh?