You Need Help From ME!!!!!!!


Table of Contents

Computer Tips

Computer Information

The History of My Insanity

About me

My Bookmarks

My Friends

Graphics Links

3-18-97 This could get funny. It is going to be a record of what I am doing as a Community Leader. That's right, GeoCities actually accepted my application and I am now a full-fledged Community Leader with people to help and everything. Is this the blind leading the blind or what?



Actually, so far it has not been too bad. Once I actually found my assignment, and talked to my "boss" about what "strengths" I have (she decided to list basic html and some Win95. I tried for "beginners' stupid questions" but she didn't think that was accurate--she doesn't know me very well, yet!), it was O.K. I sent letters to all the people in my area that had e-mail addresses listed introducing myself and asking if they need any help. That was only about 300 notes out of the 500 possible. It took me 13 hours, but it is done. Now, I just have to keep checking back on the other 200 and see if they ever put e-mail links on their pages.



I ran into a small problem, though. I was supposed to go to a chat room for a meeting and my "boss" didn't think I was serious when I said I didn't know how. I missed the meeting! Now, she has sent me the info and I will attempt to get to the next chat meeting. Of course, that will also involve about a dozen emergency messages to other people to get them to help me with this chat thing. This will not be pretty.



So, what else do Community Leaders do? Well, they look for sites which have nasty things which break content rules. One of those things is something I ran into the first night I was surfing my area. Have you ever experienced a JAVA bomb? No? Well, I do not recommend it. In my case, I pushed a button looking for the e-mail address, and it caused my computer to open about a dozen copies of Netscape before I could stop it. Then, I had to reboot to get rid of them. I really hate rebooting. It makes me lose too much like where I was and where I had been. Maybe the guy thought it was funny. I hope so, because it will be the last funny thing he does in GeoCities! That is soooooooooooooo against the rules, they have a special form just to report it. Of course, it took me another round or two of e-mail messages to locate the form.



Occasionally, someone is actually desperate enough to think that I might know more then they do about GeoCities and how to create a site. I have gotten about a dozen requests for help so far. I was able to answer most of them without screaming for help. Of course, for the sake of everyone's sanity, I passed the JAVA questions on to someone who actually knows what JAVA is. Can you imagine me trying to answer a JAVA question? I can just see the disaster!

Beginners' FAQ's
3-24-97Well, I have been a Community Leader for almost a week, and it is getting easier and taking a little less time each day. I actually had time to look at my friend's sites the other day!



You might wonder what the day of a new Community Leader is like (if you don't so wonder, skip this paragraph!) My computer comes on every morning at 7 a.m. and gets my e-mail for me so it is sitting here when I get up about 15 minutes later. I quickly scan the list of messages for any from my GeoCities "boss". Hers are, of course, the most important. Then, I look for personal friends' notes, read them, and set them aside to answer when I can. Then, assuming there are any from people with problems, I go to work on them. This morning there was one. Some mornings there are half a dozen. I do whatever is necessary to help these people--look up the answer, scan their sites for coding problems, refer them to someone who knows a lot more than me (not hard when I know so little!), or ask for more information. If I am lucky, I can wrap up the morning problems in half an hour. If I am NOT lucky, it can take three or four hours. After that, I can relax and just do my webmaster thing with the five sites that I monitor for friends--add links, check for spelling errors and other typos, delete out of date material--they can only work on their sites on the weekends, so I "fix" them during the week between other computer jobs. Once in a while I even get to work on my own site!!! Then, I relax with my morning newspaper and a cup of chocolate/coffee. I know, in times past I mentioned that I don't drink coffee. Well, GeoCities has caused me to lose sleep on a regular basis, and I need something to keep me awake. So, I make the strongest coffee I can, and use it instead of water to make hot cocoa. One cup (one very large cup) is all it usually takes to keep me going. By noon, I am usually ready to get off-line a while and watch my favorite soaps on tv. Then, about 6 p.m. EST, California is ready to hit their sites (the kids are home from school and it seems to be when everyone starts up their computers for real) and the e-mail starts flying again. I can be on line with just e-mail for the next four or five hours. Between notes, I also check the daily birthday list to see if any of the people in my area are having a birthday so I can send them a note.



And, that is a day in the life of a Community Leader. Wants to make you rush out and sign up, doesn't it! Seriously, if you have any desire at all to be a Community Leader, please fill out the application. It only hurts for a little while!



I think I would like to do a little instructing now--if you need to submit a problem to a Community Leader, please remember that we are not hooked into the psychic network. In short, we cannot read your mind! :) We need some details. There are certain things you should put in your message. They include
    your site address
    the exact problem
    DETAILS--if possible



If the problem is in the coding, we can't find the solution unless we know specifically where the problem is located. For example, saying "I uploaded a file and my .gif won't work now!" is not as good as saying "I uploaded a file using the EZ Upload Utility and now the .gif doesn't work. I coded it like this img src="Dog.gif" Did I do something wrong?" (before anyone gets on my case about no < > around it, I know I left them out. I also know there is a way to do it without turning it into code and making it disappear. I just was too lazy to go look it up right now. I will later--much later!) Obviously, the more details of the problem you can give, the faster we will be able to figure out the problem and help you fix it.



Occasionally, people have asked me to take a look at their sites, and go give them my opinion. I am more than happy to do it if I can. However, I need a couple pieces of information first. If I am going to scan your site, PLEASE include the full URL in your e-mail. I am real lazy, and don't like to have to type the location in the little window. I prefer to just point and click. Second, I need to know what kind of a "look" you want me to do. Do you want comments on coding? (please, NO!!!) Do you want comments on content and appearance? Is this supposed to be a "friendly" scan, or a "serious" critique where I detail every punctuation and spelling error, and tell you that your favorite background sucks! Is this "site review" in preparation for your mother seeing how pretty the site is, or is it for getting ready for GeoCities to consider you for Featured Page status? In short, how honest do you want my opinion to be?



Reviewing sites is an interesting job. It can be rewarding in its own right, and it can get you some horrible e-mail. For example, I once did a critique of a site for a company in Austria. It started out as a simple critique on appearance and general content. I mentioned that his English (which was impeccable) was a little stiff and formal, and did not "flow" the way American English does. I said I assumed English was his second language. He wrote back to say it was done by a British journalist working as an interpreter, and he ask me to "Americanize" the entire site. It took hours, was a lot of work, and was a series of very long e-mails. In the end, he thanked me profusly, made the changes, and was very happy.



On the other hand, that same week I did a "content and appearance" review on a personal site for a US resident. I mentioned that his text on a particular page was impossible to read because the background was too "busy" and that he should consider getting a new background. He sent me a flame that would singe the ocean! Some people only want an honest opinion if it agrees with theirs.



That's enough on that subject. I would hate to go off on one of my tangents.



3-27-97 Good news! I got the chat thing figured out. Now I just need a reason to use it. I still don't feel comfortable with it, but at least it is working, and I know how to get where I am supposed to go. I consider that a major victory. Sort of equivalent to scaling Mt. Everest--in a storm at midnight!



I was told that being a Leader involved answering a lot of e-mail. So far, it has been rather light. Maybe the new batch of Leaders is just so big we are each getting less than expected. I imagine it will pick up over time. Then, I will be complaining that I have too much to do. For now, it is perfect. Spring has finally come to Michigan (at least for a few days) and I have time to get outside and do some yard work. Why do I get the feeling that as soon as it is warm enough to enjoy the deck and a little fresh air, that the only air I will be getting will be from a fan in front of the computer?



3-31-97 Oh no! They did it! They promoted me to the position of Assistant Liaison in Silicon Valley/Vista. This could get real ugly!



Before any of you start asking me questions about why GeoCities is acting the way it is, or how you contact people who work for GeoCities, I have bad news for you--I still don't know any more today than I knew yesterday, and that sure wasn't much! Correction, I can answer one question today that I couldn't answer yesterday--now I know what a sacrificial lamb feels like!



4-2-97 Nope, it wasn't an April Fools joke. I am still an Assistant Liaison. There is even a nasty rumor going around that I might actually have some new Community Leaders assigned to my suburb in the near future. I warned you this could get ugly! Actually, I have an interesting question for you. If you have read all of this, you are probably saying to yourself "well, I can do as good a job as her. What does she know that I don't know?" And you are right! You CAN do as good a job as me and I don't know a thing that you don't know. So why havn't you filled out the application to become a Community Leader? What are you waiting for? Click the smiley, and start the application process! What have you got to lose? Trust me, it's painless! OK, it hurts a little the first time someone tells you you are an idiot because you can't see their GeoCities link. You forget that kind of pain the first time you get a note saying how much some new homesteader appreciated the way you helped him get his site set up. So, come on, become a Community Leader and learn what it means to spend your life with your fingers glued to the keyboard. (As if you aren't living that way already!)




4-6-97 Life has been getting into a sort of pattern. I get up early, answer e-mail questions, process a little paper work, review a hundred sites or so, send notices to everyone about me being their Community Leader and asking them if they need help, then, around noon, I finally get a chance to read the paper. I let my husband use the computer in the early afternoon, and then I'm back on in the evening to answer more mail and see what is interesting in GeoCities. Once in a while I take a couple hours to actually work on my site. And, from time to time, I get out of the house for a breath of fresh air. I think that happened three days ago, but I'm not sure--I get confused easily these days. I think it is from lack of sleep. I get so excited about another day of this job, that I wake up real early, and don't go to bed until around midnight.



4-16-97 Wow, ten days since I last updated this page. I have been soooooooo busy. We are in need of some really qualified Community Leaders, so I have been reviewing applications like mad; we also have to find great sites for the Featured Page Program; then, there are the new Lunar Awards; not to mention trying to learn how to survive in Chat! My poor fingers are nothing but bone (I wore the skin off last week!) and I still have a million notes to write. All in all, I needed a vacation--so last night, just to make my day, my ISP crashed for two hours! I was just about keeping my head above water, and they pulled the plug on my e-mail. By midnight, I was slowly sinking under the waves of exhaustion and frustration--so, I went to BED and actually slept for eight hours.

I have just one question for you--Why aren't you running over to fill out the application to join all this fun? You too can go insane while helping other people gain the knowledge and skills necessary to perpetuate this chaos. Where else can you work 16 hours a day, scream yourself hoarse with frustration, and still look forward to getting up the next day and all for the fantastic remuneration of a smiley in your mail? I think I'll go take an aspirin. :(



4-20-97 I know, it has only been four days since I was here, but it is Sunday morning, there is NO e-mail waiting to be answered, and I am bored. I updated everything that is updateable (how's that for a neat word!) and no one is talking to me this morning, so I thought I would wander in here and tell you about it. We got two new Community Leaders yesterday. I am trying to build a Team that will cover a majority of computer protocols and styles, so we can properly handle any problem that comes our way. So far, we have people who are good in: HTML, Linux, CGI prog. (C/Perl/etc.), VB, with C++ on the side, Chat, Web Page Design, Midi, PC Hardware Conflicts and Software Configuration, and, of course, I am good in all the stupid things people do when they are first starting out in web page design. They are a very diverse group of people with some very good skills--and I just wish I knew what half of those things are!! Oh well, I don't need to know what they are to know who can do them.

That's what I really like about being a Liaison--Being able to do all the boring record keeping and "paper work" and knowing the strengths of your Team while getting a totally random group of people who have never met to actually work together AS a Team is just as important as knowing how to program Frames or make a Form or Design Graphics or the dozens of other things I havn't even got a clue about. So, if you are a bossy, opinionated, organized, nit-picky, detail person, who loves to beg, plead, nag, and conjole people into doing what they are supposed to be doing, sign up to be a Community Leader, and one day, you too could become a Liaison!





4-28-97 I remember the old days--about eight months ago--when the internet was just a dream I had and GeoCities was something I had never even heard of. That was a time when I actually had a life outside the office! I remember shopping, and bowling, and sunshine, and television. Now, I have VCR tapes from programs two months old, and I havn't seen a soap opera in almost three months. I don't remember where my bowling ball is, and they have to ship sunshine in on a special truck. I heard they opened a new store in town back in February, but I don't remember where they put it. And the grocery store is beginning to wonder if they should send an inspector around to see if we have food! The bank called the other day (of course, they had to page us in order to get through on our single phone line)to see what was wrong--they couldn't figure out why we actually had a balance remaining at the end of the month! I had to assure them we were still out here and just couldn't spend as much since we never went out of the house any more. I expect to hear from the Chamber of Commerce any day demanding to know why the local economy has taken a nose dive. And it is all the fault of the Internet!

We are on the computer 20 hours a day, and even my dog is giving up on the idea that the keyboard will ever leave my lap so he can sit there. Our office area now takes up about 20% of our living room--and it wasn't that big a space to begin with. They only reason it isn't 100% is because I need room for my recliner so I can be comfortable while I use the computer!

There is a solution to my problem, though. And you can help--run right out and sign up to become a Community Leader so I will have less work to do!!! I'll be waiting for you. *evil grin*


5-28-97 Wow, a month since I wrote on these pages. A long time--seems like last week. I changed my name the other day. I left it up to the Community Leaders I work with to pick the new name. I'm not sure of the inspiration behind it, but they suggested Jo-Momma, and it seems to work.

Summer has come to Michigan, and the days are getting longer. One morning in ten the sun actually gets up before I do! I think I will take a vacation and enjoy the summer a little.

6-01-97 Well, that is all. After careful consideration involving the time constraints of this job, I have decided to resign from the Community Leader/Liaison program. Sometimes other things come first. What will my next project be? I'm not sure yet, but you can be sure of one thing--when I figure it out, it will show up here first!!!