19 December 1997:

Life is SOOO much better with email running. Now, I don't feel exiled from my friends and family!

I found out yesterday that my sister-in-law, Shasta, is pregnant~again. This will make four children for my brother, three boys thus far. I'm starting to wonder if they're trying to build up a baseball team!

Christmas is pretty close! People keep asking me what I want for Christmas. I really don't know. Peace of mind and true love are two good examples of presents that I'd like for Christmas; alas, those aren't the type of things you can buy...

Another week almost over. I'm going to miss this place when i leave.

18 December 1997:

Email seems to finally be working somewhat! So, that was pretty kewl to be getting mail again!

17 December 1997:

I've been wandering the net somewhat and have created another homepage. I've also been updating some of the pages and links on this site.

16 December 1997:

K, I'm off the soapbox for tonight. The weather here is beautiful, as always. Of course, seeing as Panama is only a handful of degrees off the equator, its kind of hard to imagine it NOT being beautiful down here.

As per norm, I'm not waxing poetic at all. Too many things on my mind lately. Life is fun though. I've been jogging and doing 100 push ups in the morning AND again at night. (Hehhehe, being healthy is uuugie.)

15 December 1997:

Well, here we go again. The Air Force, in its infinite wisdom; has again made some very intelligent decisions. Given, these decisions were made by individuals that are home, oh, I'd venture to guess about 350 days a year. They aren't like those of us that are on the road, on the average, from 230-280 days a year. So, from the viewpoint of someone that is ALWAYS home, I suppose that cutting off access for those of us that are gone constantly, sounds like an intelligent way to boost morale for the troops.

Access to what you may ask. Well, access to any private type email accounts that we have (i.e. Hotmail, AOL, Prodigy, and anything else that you could TCP/IP over to). Why would they do that? The very concept that we could behave even semi-responsibly on the internet is absurd.

Instead of being able to send messages realtime (using some commercial provider, such as AOL's instant messenger) to our friends and family back home~~the Air Force believes that its far, far better for us to spend tons of $$$, to make a ten or fifteen minute phone call a few times a week. Sure $15-20 for a few minutes a phone call isn't much, at least that's what I'd think from my job that I get to go home to my own bed every night from. But, if you're gone 6-8 months a year, those $15-20 phone calls start adding up. But, that thought would never cross my mind from my comfortable lazyboy recliner whilst I'm watching TV with my family. That is, if I had a job that allowed me to be home constantly.

If I can see the faces of my family and friends every day, doesn't that mean that everyone that's deployed for a month or two at a time can do the same? Just because they are deployed to a desert or a jungle, hey, they KNEW what they were signing up for! Just because this internet realtime communication thing could totally boost morale and save tons of money for the servicemen~~that's NO reason to let them use it. Heaven forbid such a thought even cross my mind!

Nope, its government property (the computers and internet connection) and government funds. Of course, if these servicemen were emailing, or chatting online with their wives & families, that WOULD mean that they weren't out in the bars drinking. (Can't have that.) It would also mean that they weren't so lonely and depressed over the holidays. (Nah, that would boost morale or something, can't have that either!)

Of course, if I were in a nice office day after day, only 10 or 15 minutes from the house, I wouldn't want any of these young hooligans (that the Government gives Top Secret access to, and still trusts with multi-million dollar equipment) to have access with a normal PC (hmmm, about $1500-2000 worth of equipment). Oops, almost forgot that internet connection. Hmmm, if the Military over-inflates the cost of equipment and such, as private industry does with their software worth, I'd guess I'd have to give it a whooping $100,000 cost there. So, we go from being trusted with multi-million dollar weapons to not being trusted with $102,000 dollar equipment (inflated for the benefit of the pencil-pushers).

We want to return to the old days. Back when you didn't have this fancy internet and email and such. Back to when *big brother* had much more control over the lives of the peons that serve him. I'm sure that if I were behind a desk about 15 minutes from home every day, that it would make sense to me also.

The part that I truly cannot fathom, is when they (they being the same officials that decide things like, oh, taking away all sorts of access from us) can't understand why no one stays in the service. I mean, let's suppose that I'm not flying. Well, I still show up to work every day. If the computers go down, we work to fix them, we make multimedia presentations, we build the webpages for the squadrons, we put together and install new computers as they arrive, we do all the things that the government would've had to go out and pay some *professionals* to do. Our thanks for that is "hey, since you did that so well, why don't you do this for us, and this, and this, etc". No raises, no bonuses. But, we do get that special lil reward, the denial of access to our personal accounts.

These whiners that deploy all the time gripe too much. Its no problem at all for you to get to where the job takes you; then, email your friends, family & co-workers your new email address. Perish the thought that they already have your private email address. You can just make a list of all of them, and each time you deploy someplace, you can send them your new email address. Oh yeah, and limit your emails to 10/week. We can't have you abusing the email system. Oops, almost forgot, if you gripe about this, we'll take that away from you too. Enjoy your 200+ days on the road and the holidays in foreign countries, I'll be at home, eating with the family and sleeping in my own bed. Well, that's the sort of thing that I'd say, think, and do, IF I were in that job that let me work 9-5 every day and go to my own house every night.

Alas, I'm one of the souls that gets to go out all times of the year, for weeks and months at a time. I'm one of the whiners that gripes that I can only email 10 people a week. I'm one of the ones that really can't decide which ten to email. I mean, do i email some to my family (15 or so there), some to my realworld friends (50+), and some to my online friends (that number tends to grow and grow). Just whom should I email? Should I try to keep up with that quaint little debate we were having on the *grace of God*, or should I tell my mom that "I love her"? Should I email my friends and make arrangements for a party when I get home, or should I email an online friend and tell him about this new game, or program that just came out? Of course, I do have a calling card. I guess I should just go charge up another $20 to listen to my mom, or girlfriend, or lil sister tell me how much they miss me over the holidays. Yeah, that makes sense. Of course, it feels like home, when you can make some sort of chat room and have your brother (who's in Germany), your mom (who's in New Orleans), your sister (who's in Florida), and some friends from TX, or CA in it and sit around and BS with them online. Perish the thought that something like that be accessible. Yeah, thanks again for the morale boost. Nothing like a swift kick in the groin to take the fun out of the holiday season. Again, I'm just one of the whiners that goes out defending other countries, because when I signed on the dotted line to protect the United States, what it really meant was that I was one of the WorldWide police force that would defend whatever country paid my Uncle Sam the most, be it $$$, services, or political favours.

I think Tiny Tim said it best when he said "God Bless us, everyone!" I'm off my soapbox now.

14 December 1997: