The Adventures of Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man
He steals silently through campus, lurking in womens'
washrooms and in the back row of classes, and all the
while he's screaming like a blue messiah.
"This class licks my scrotum!" screams Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man
in the back row of Philosophy 211.6.
"Let's discuss what is actually meant by that
idiom," professor Hanson drones.
Suddenly, Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man leapt from
his seat, and with a bowel-stretching scream he drew
his katana and did a triple mid-air summersault which
would have looked great if anyone could have seen it,
which no one could.
Arriving at the front of the class after his graceful
leap, Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man screamed out a strange,
Cantonese death song and in one fluid motion sliced
the professor's head off his body. But so swift and
powerful was Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man that he kicked
the disembodied head out of the door of the classroom
with his invisible-ninja-toe before it had even touched
the ground.
All of this was a marvelous spectacle and would have
received a standing ovation if anyone had seen it. But
not only was Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man invisible,
but the professor's boring monotone had put the entire
class to sleep.
Not disheartened in the least, Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man
left to strike terror into the evil denizens of the
ladies' can.
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