I'm In A Funk

Whine, whine, whine...

"If I weren't such a people person I'd be tempted to kill everyone here tonight." -Life in Hell

Zoe canceled on Remington for the weekend...and unbeknownst to me, they decided that they were going to get together Thursday night before he went to L.A. "Oh, is that okay with you? Seeing as it's on one of your nights and all..." Well, what could I say? Couldn't be a bitch about the whole thing, could I? Okay, it's not as bad as that, I wasn't really bothered about it...up till this afternoon or so, when for some reason I'm now moping and feeling sorry for myself. Which is stupid, really. I've got a shitload of homework to do (a lab, a paper, a prospectus, reading, and design homework, and a quiz. No weekend plans for me =( ). I mean, I've seen him a lot lately...I was getting spoiled. I even saw him on a Friday night last week, and that's pretty rare. I made the "mistake" of saying when we got into bed last night that I'd been looking forward to that all day (hey, I was tired, and I get sick of having to get up early). And while he said he liked that too, he says it in this tone..."it sounds like you want that to go on all the time." Like there's something wrong with that? (Zoe thinks the same thing) I of course lied and said no, but that doesn't mean I don't like to do it. Which is almost true. I mean, I get more sleep when he's not around to distract me (or wake me up three hours before I need to get up on Mondays and Wednesdays). But still, that made me a little mad.

I don't know why I'm so pouty childish over it tonight. I wasn't really, except Wednesday night she came on IRC when we were on and he wanted us to go into the private channel. And then they started talking about going off to Rumsey tonight. And I felt like a third wheel. Like, "um, guys, I don't really need to be here for this, so why did you bring me in?" Like an eavesdropper, is more like it. I don't know why I was bothered, since I've heard them say much more personal stuff than that in front of my face. And it's not like I begrudge her getting to see him...I mean, she's not going to get to much this month, seeing as two weekends he's in Southern CA and one weekend is my birthday. And she canceled on her one weekend.

I think she shouldn't have canceled on him- I mean, I thought that even before this- but now I'm feeling a little annoyed that this is cutting in on me because she canceled. Not nice of me. Not to mention I'm wondering if they're going to do this again next weekend.

As far as I know, she's coming in late tonight, they leave, she hangs around here till three tomorrow (I don't know why she's returning then), I assume she'll return again...I also felt annoyed when I found out that a. he's leaving for L.A. like saturday morning at three a.m. (that I don't get to see him Friday either) and b. (even worse) not returning till Monday morning. I don't get to see him for four days or so. Which I don't like. (Look how childish I'm being about this...just wait till he goes off to Chicago and I don't see him for a month, and I'll REALLY be bitchy.)

This morning I said "well, see you Monday" as I was about to leave, and he started to get all pouty about it- "Monday??" Uh, yeah. Um, guess whose fault that is, and don't give me that pouty look...then he said "maybe we could all have dinner together Friday." I said it wasn't likely, remembering her saying stuff in the channel. He had no clue, apparently, as to what was going on. I just said "Well, I'll see you Monday."

I am not getting my hopes up too high. Not again.

6:45 p.m. Am in a better mood than I was previously. Although I am sitting around on IRC right now hoping he'll come on it before she arrives tonight (she's getting here 9:30-10ish). Which is ridiculous, I know. I looked on the log...Zoe came in and left real quick. Probably looking for him. Or maybe me to ask where he was. Melissa just asked me where he was, and I said "I haven't the faintest idea." He said that he was going to a seminar, but that was at threeish when he left. Dunno if he's still there. He's probably busy doing something or other...

This is stupid. Sometime tonight I have got to go to the study lounge so I'm not tempted to lurk around looking for him.

Friday's plans...Two possible options have been offered:
1. Go to some surprise Lugod party for a guy that's moving, that I've never talked to and wasn't really invited to (Jessica mentioned this). I like the idea, but feel silly going to a party for someone I don't even know.

2. Go to Sarah's housemates' "White Trash Friday" drinking night (don't ask), then wander off to Sudwerk. She wanted Remington to give her a ride, but I said "he can't", and he didn't say anything. So far, no rides have been offered. I like going and hanging out at Sudwerk, but I'm not the biggest drinker either. Although supposedly Mike and Evan are coming. Which slightly ups the count in favor of this. But in all honesty I'm not that psyched about either option. But oh well. I suppose I'll figure it out tomorrow or something.

Went to meet with JoAnn (design advisor) about individual majoring...while it went well, I was thorougly annoyed to discover that two classes I really wanted to take are probably not going to be offered anymore (waaaaah!), and that the IM reqs are REALLY stupid. Basically, I can only take seven classes from one college, and three from another. What kinda stupid crap is this???

Well, I'd really better do some homework or eat or something.

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jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu

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