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To explain what it was like: There was one building (the Meadow building), where they had registration, a room to lounge around it, a kitchen, bathroom, and tables. A meadow area where clothes, books, jewelry, statues were sold. Tents everywhere. And hot springs...three swimming pools (two warm, one cold), a (really) hot tub, and a sauna (gasp! cough! choke!). Hung out at the pools a lot, which was fun. Met up with some of Zoe's friends/ex-roommates and their SO's. I went to a workshop on "Practical Magic", which was interesting (psychic stuff for beginners). Definitely weird to be taking that kinda thing with apparently-experienced witches...when we did the "seeing" exercise (staring at a person's forehead for a few minutes and seeing what you pick up on them), almost everyone picked up a ton of info about who they were watching. I didn't particularly, though my partner said she saw a hummingbird on me. Hmmmmmm. Rem showed up for it at one point, and that was rather funny...we were standing in a circle around someone with their eyes closed, who was supposed to slowly turn around and point at where he thought a person was. I always got nailed, but Remington would get these glancing blows (so to speak)...well, that's him, trying to be all sneaky and deceptive like that. Also went to a ritual, which is rather hard to describe...well, everyone (lots of folks really) standing around in a circle around the people running the ritual, which was supposed to invoke the goddess Kali (why they'd choose this particular goddess, I am not exactly sure, though they insisted that this was not for evil). First we had to call various gods/goddesses/spirits to come, then it got into this whole trance thing (or was supposed to- I do not think I was particularly tranced), closing our eyes while the leader chick described a scene. It was pretty much one of those rebirth things that was really supposed to affect you, though it didn't me. Then again, I'm kinda not that interested in that sort of stuff. Then there was a ton of "estactic dancing", which got kinda old after awhile, and that's when we decided to go swimming instead.
Saturday: One of the things about this festival is that for each night you spend there, you have to do an hour of community service (or they charge you more $, ugh). Zoe'd already done hers, so Rem and I signed up for 8 a.m. "rangering"- which amounted to pool patrol, or as the old-timers call it, the "Shhh Nazis"- i.e. we were supposed to tell people who were talking loudly in the pool to shut up. The only one who got shut up at 8 a.m., however, was me (grrrr), from him. Bleah. Did more swimming, then went to a bunch of workshops on polyamory.
Workshop #1 was taught by this guy named Ken, which was basically about discussing things, combined with him talking about the contract he'd done with his two girlfriends and what that kinda thing was like. Then afterwards some of us wanted to keep discussing things, so we went off by ourselves...and that's where the weirdness started. Namely, this one guy, Eric (who, oh joy, turns out to live in Sacramento), said something along the lines of I was so gorgeous and he kept staring at me, etc...which really flipped me out. I know Zoe warned me that Ancient Ways was a poly pagan pickup joint, but since no one had done such a thing yesterday, I figured it wasn't happening. I do not get that kinda thing going on in real life, you know? I'm not that uh, unusual or whatever. He wasn't my type (probably around forty, long hair/beard, ugh), already had a kid (though she was cute), wife, and 19-year-old girlfriend (that shocked me...she must be raised pagan or something, I sure didn't have my shit together at that age...the only thing I ever heard her say the entire time was her name and that she did whatever she wanted to. Hmmmmm.) living in the house with them. And he's still looking...I did announce to all during the intro period that I don't consider myself poly and don't want another boyfriend 'cause I couldn't handle it, even if I wanted one...but I did make the mistake of saying that even if I did want another boyfriend it would be a bitch to find one in Davis who woudln't mind my having another boyfriend...and that's where several guys (not ones I'd ever want though- too old and hairy) and Eric uh, contradicted me. Geez...it was so weird. I really hate it when people have a thing for me and it's not mutual...I really do...and well, I was kinda flipped out. Kinda is an understatement, really...especially since the guy came up to me and Rem afterwards saying that he wanted to keep in touch (and later mentioned going out to dinner sometime...Rem was very vague about it). Rem didn't say much other than "I didn't think he was your type" and "He liked my energy? What the hell does that mean?"
I did like one thing that came out of that...after Eric said what he said, Remington said he had a hard time not staring at me all the time himself. That was so incredibly sweet...I became a big mushball after that.
The final workshop we went to that day was done by the Ravenhearts, a five-person family. Well, four out of the five were there, plus another prospective family member. The two guys in it were straight and the women there were bi...it was really interesting hearing how they did this kinda thing. Very helpful.
I'd like to mention here that it was nice being able to hang around each other and having people go "Aww, that's so cute" instead of "God, you freaks."
I was getting people staring at me...while we'd been in the pool the previous night this guy kept swimming back and forth behind us and staring... it was bizarre. And while eating dinner Saturday another guy kept turning around and staring at me again and again...it gave me the creeps.
We all got some stuff- Zoe got a plaque, I got a book on being a teen witch (hah), and I bought Rem a bumper sticker saying that his karma ran over his dogma.
After dinner Rem went off to grab a beer, then Zoe remembered she had to call home, so she brought me along with her. The call went for rather a long time, and of course he couldn't find us...when everyone was finally tracked down it turned out he'd really been freaked that he couldn't find us...it was so sweet, really.
After that we all got into this long discussion over stuff that'd been bothering us (like Chicago, my days-off problem). Basically he said anyone he dated there wouldn't matter very much to him and he wouldn't dump us, he just couldn't stand being alone for a month...and he was not that likely to date anyone there anyway, but if he did develop some kind of social life...he was griping about how he hated Chicago and all he ever did was read a lot while there. I can't explain why we felt better about this particularly, since it didn't work out the way I'd wanted it to...but somehow the reassurance that it wasn't going to end up a three-girlfriend situation (which he said would be too hard, he's busy enough as is) helped. Then I started babbling about how bothered I felt when he had nights off...I did start crying, which was embarrassing (especially when he figured it out and said "You're all teary!" Zoe said something along the lines of even if things weren't going to change I could still say something and should. Or something like that. He didn't say that much, other than there being a rule that I shouldn't see him at all on days off was ridiculous. Oh, and apparently he was bothered he didn't get a day off after all this week (sigh), I offered two off this week but he said no, he wouldn't do that to me. Finally decided to have Monday off and me skip the Lugod meeting- I have an 8 a.m. final Tuesday morning anyway, don't want to force him to get up. Though if I hadn't had finals, I would have been tempted to say "Look, you're going to have a whole week off from me, can you just be with me throughout this one?"
I also asked Zoe how she felt when she left Rem and I together (seeing as when they drop me off, I feel all dumped and get all "They're leaving me! (snif)"), and she did say that even though she knew she needed time alone with him, things always seemed boring when I'd gone, and that when they were together at parties on the weekends there was something missing (well, someone). Awwwwwww. Nice to know it's all mutual.
Ooooh! I just found this poem that really sums up the nights off thing!
Watched Remington play with Eric's kid Becca for awhile in the living room, which was so damned cute...he was just so funny and goofy and adorable playing with her. Awwwwwwwwww. I was asking him afterwards what was going to happen tonight...so we wouldn't have to pay for another night, we were going to leave in the middle of it and they were going to dump me off and then go to Santa Cruz for some friend of her's graduation. He said that he wanted to bring me along with them...I wanted that too, but knew Zoe would want time alone (sigh). Nice to know he felt the same way about that. Though he thought that some times I should get to stick around for an entire weekend instead of being dumped off. Surprising...
Went in the pools again before we left...not as pleasant an experience as I would have wanted...namely, some people Zoe knew came up to us, and dragged a few random guys over to hang out, and both kept attempting to cop a feel on me. Bugged me...but of course I said nothing and just felt uncomfortable...Zoe saw this and Rem didn't and put herself in between me and the trolling guys until we could tactfully go away. I think he was bothered for me when he found that out...felt bad he hadn't noticed...asked if he'd need to go beat anyone up, even though they were bigger than him. Aw.
We left at two in the morning (ouch) to go back to Davis...it ended up taking SIX hours, because we all kept dozing off on the side of the road for hours at a time. BAD idea...we got to Davis at seven a.m. and just all passed out on Remington's bed for awhile. Until the neighbor started blasting rap, of course...grrrrrrrrrr. Anyway, I felt much better about being dumped off that morning than I usually do. Yay.
Zoe was really bugged that I wouldn't be around for her b-day (which she has decided to make the celebration be Saturday night at a Thai place), and we were plotting possible ways for me to be allowed to go. She had no problems with my bringing Matthew along if necessary. And I could get a ride back home Sunday morning. It all sounded good...and when I called Mom that night she was all for it. At that time.
An hour later...well, I'm just going to copy the e-mail I wrote to them and let you read that.
An hour later she calls back, asking if there's drugs at your place, I say none that I've ever seen. Then she starts going on about how Matthew will be corrupted in California by seeing me and zoe hanging all over Remington, and how he'll tell his mommy (who apparently could get a brain tumor at any second) and she'll tell "good religious woman whose husband was a minister" Aunt Babs, and she'll of course worry to death, etc, etc...not that she knows this is actually going to happen since she hasn't seen the guy since he was nine (he's 23 now), but still. So he's forbidden to be asked to go. It would be okay if this was a "normal" situation, but this is unnatural and will corrupt him, apparently. She thinks just because he's atheist and had one nasty girlfriend that he'll corrupt easily (sheesh). Though she didn't seem to find the idea of us going to Winchester house (without the parents) on Wed. or so to be problematic. So long as the threesome is kept completely quiet, of course.It's Monday morning (I have a final, but am I studying? Nooooooo), and look what I got in e-mail. I don't care if this is a breach of netiquette, I'm fucking pissed. Of course I'm forbidden to go.And as for me...well, she won't outright forbid me to go as yet (though knowing her...I wouldn't be at all surprised if she changed her mind on that), but she went on and on about how i'm choosing you over her for the entire week (it's ONE NIGHT, but will she accept that? Listen to that? Nooooooooo.), and why can't Remington stand to not see me for a week (infringing on her time here?? makes you wonder) and that she'll be "disappointed" if I go (read: miserable, apparently, though she denied that, she sure acted like it), and that poor Matthew will be stuck alone with them and "put yourself in his place" (well, I wouldn't mind particularly, so that didn't come across like she wished), etc, etc, guilt, guilt, guilt whine whine. Basically she made it my decision but emphasized how bloody miserable she'd be. Even my saying 'it's one day' she turned into some attack, she started bitching that I must love Remington more than she thought, and next time Grandma called and asked how my love life is (apparently she insists on thinking that anyone being in love and of age is going to lead to engagement, despite all of us saying it's not), she won't discourage her, etc. It sucked.
So basically, I make her miserable if I go and I'm not going to be happy if I stay. A no-win for all. I don't know what the hell to do. Technically I can do whatever I so choose at the moment...but shit, I don't know and I don't trust her.
I'm kinda hoping that after she's talked to Remington more she'll feel better about things, but who knows.
I had to tell you father what we were discussing when I called you back. He would like to have you home on Saturday, day and night, since we are just picking you up on Friday. I know you will be disappointing Zoe, but you will also be disappointing your father also. You can tell Zoe that it is just that we just got you home and we don't see you much. Let me know your thoughts. It is VERY HARD not to tell you dad what is going on especially after I get off the phone for 40 min and then another 20 min and there is nothing much to tell him. It is difficult.I have to keep reminding myself that working my way through school is worse than this. I am so sick of them pulling rank on me. So much for my being able to make my own decisions. And they do this every fucking time.
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