Nothing but a Dream,
Journey to Hell,
Untitled,
Disappearing Act,
I've Got to Say the Words
Nothing but a Dream
How can you lose something
before you even had it?
How can something be lost
before it's ever been found?
You’re so vivid in my dreams,
and dreamlike in reality
When you're real you're just a dream
Yet in my dreams you're just too real
Dreams don't make sense in reality
And reality is too cruel in dreams
These two worlds I live in
Are much too far apart
If and when they do collide
I'll know it's just a dream
'Cause everything dreamlike
Used to be reality
But now it's all a wish,
It’s nothing but a dream.
-March 13/97

Journey to Hell
Drowned in confusion
Pulled two ways apart
Why is life so dreary?
Does it have t last?
That stranger says this
You say just the opposite
Who am I to believe?
Why can’t I decide on it?
You can just go to hell
I’m sure I’ll see you there soon
What’s the point of stayin’ alive?
Can’t I just lie in a tomb?
I know I’ll go down soon
Where hell will feel like heaven
Who says it has to be bad?
Why can’t I cross the seven?
-April 1/97

Untitled
You’ve taken over my life
I know it’s hard to believe
But feelings can’t be buried
Put to sleep and not lived
I can’t read myself like and open book
Sometimes doubting even the truth
I can’t make up my tired mind
My heart cries out and breaks apart
My eyes are way too used to tears
They cry and cry to make it better
But tears don’t make things disappear
The pain will stay and live forever
I know for sure that I’m the victim
Fallen slave of doubtless love
Failing to take control as I used to
Ridding my soul of confidence and pride
I try to ignore the feelings I have
The dark hole taking over my heart
Three words hovering around my head
Crying "I love you", please believe that
-April 3/97

Disappearing Act
The sun went down
Darkness settled into my life
The split second that
You pulled a disappearing act
No mushy letters
Or inspiring sentences
All you left behind
Are the unspoken goodbyes
I have to get used to life
Without you by my side
It was already hard enough
But there was will to make it last
The sun will come up again
Smiles will brighten my days
But it won’t be close to now
Thanks to your disappearing act.
-Apr. 6/97; dedicated to JK

I've Got to Say the Words
Do I have to say the words
Can't you at least give me a choice
God knows I wish
That I couldn't hesitate
But the words are
Way too hard to say
My mind is frozen
My tongue is out of place
I feel like a trapped animal
Not knowing what to say
You've cornered me unconsciously
I wish at least you knew
But it's all up to me
I can't change the rules
So I've got to say the words
-April 7/97
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