- Getting shot in the head
- Drowning in a puddle
- Getting your head cut off while watching the movie Seven
- Happy
- Being swallowed up by fire
- Being swallowed up by your Algebra II Teacher
- Car wreck with an ambulance
- Car wreck with a parked car
- Getting stabbed in a shoot-out
- Listening to Cher
- Long, rusty nail being driven into your skull
- Long, rusty nail being driven into your ass
- Syrup being poured all over you and then ants suddenly appearing out of nowhere and eating you alive
- Unsuccessful lobodomy via the anal cavity
- As an AOL user, then again you're probably better off!
- Being run over by a bulldozer that's clearing the wreckage from the demolished building you were trapped in
- Being run over by a bulldozer
- Young
- Stupid
- With your pants down
- Old
- Being killed by bees with a taste for blood
- In a fire in a fire station
- A million paper cuts in a salt mine
- In a country run by Bill Clinton
- At that time while after you get out of bed that you just get fully awake. Right then
- Slowly
- From starvation
- Listening to polka
- Listening to country
- Being buried alive, and then, ya know, dying
- Before you have your first orgasm
- Accidental mummification
- Someone cutting you in half with a really dull knife
- One word: Ebola
- Getting sat on by some fat lady
- Getting kicked in the balls, really hard!
- With amnesia
- Eyestrain
- Being electrocuted
- Being shot . . . with a BB
- Food poisoning
- Laughing so hard you just EXPLODE
- Sweating to death
- Reading the 101 Worst Ways To Die till your eyes bleed
- Drug overdose
- Milk overdose
- Going for the world's record longest fingernails then right before they get long enough, being stabbed with them
- One word: Aliens
- Two words: Government cover-up
- Getting shredded by a malfunctioning shredder
- Dying from a heart attack after looking at a picture of Janet Reno in a bathing suit. Again, probably better off...
- In fear
- Having a piano dropped on your head
- Drive-by
- Being eaten alive by rabbits
- Mad Cow Disease
- As a slave
- As an Angelfire member and not a Geocities member
- With no one to carry on your name
- The voices inside your head make you kill yourself
- Die of rabies after having the option of casteration
- Not being able to find your car keys
- Losing homeostasis
- You know that spot on your back that you JUST can't reach?
- Being around when the sun goes Nova
- Lightning
- Nuclear meltdown
- Hiroshima
- Severe depression
- Being eaten alive by an American Bald Eagle
- Chronic lack of sleep
- On the moon
- Stuck in a bag of cookies
- Kidney failure
- Getting Play-Doh stuck in your windpipe
- During the middle of the season finale of Friends
- Being ripped to shreds by your floppy drive
- Two words: Flying Cows
- Falling into a Volcano
- Getting your little toe chopped off and then bleeding to death
- Right when you're born
- Catching on fire after staying out in sun too long
- Not rematerializing correctly after being "beamed up"
- Falling down stairs from 3 billion steps up
- Having a tree fall on you
- At about 5000 feet when you realize your parachute is stuck
- Really tight jeans
- Jell-O
- Not being able to find Waldo
- Being thrown off a roller coaster
- Being thrown in front of a roller coaster
- Swallowing a pillow while asleep
- WWII
- Freak bicycling accident
- Falling off a cliff
- Getting hit by the laser from your brand new CD Player
- Right after you're married
- Black Hole mishap
- Unsuccessful wisdom teeth removal
- After miscalculating the needed length for the bungee cord you're about to use
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