MY LIFE - JANUARY

Tuesday, January 9, 2001

Before I write anything, that pic is from the same day as the one where I'm holding Cricket. As you could probably tell, I didn't know my mom had a camera when I looked at her. That picture was filmed in nostril vision.

Now, onto the show.

First off, I know it's been five days since I wrote anything. I had three partial entries written, but could never get them finished because I'd start talking to someone online or I'd forget about them after starting them. There really wasn't anything worth talking about most of those days anyhow, so I don't think any of you lost out on anything real significant.

I don't know if this entry itself is going to make sense. I just worked 11 hours after working until 11pm last night and only getting about an hour of sleep because of this cough that won't go away and I'm kind of loopy right now. Actually, saying I'm loopy is definitely an understatement right now. I am so out of it and so incapable of functioning like normal that I should just go to bed and get it over with.

But I won't do that because I have things I'd like to take care of first. I have games that have to be returned tonight, I would like to get my hair cut a little bit tonight, and then I'd like to get my room cleaned up a little more than it is right now. Of course, returning the games is the only thing that will get done too. I'm just too exhausted to really even think about anything else. I got home at 7:30, laid down at 8pm, and fell asleep for a couple hours before waking up to go take the games back.

It wasn't even busy today at work. We were so slow, especially early on. This only figured because that was when I had any energy. Going through a liter of pop in four hours will do that. I couldn't believe that. Usually, I never finish my pop at work period, but this one I finished by 12pm. I ended up having to buy another one because once again, I have a sore throat and the same cough I've had for four days.

Back to my point though (whatever it might end up being), it was not busy today up until around 3 or 4pm. Naturally, by that time I was just about worn down and still had three more hours to go before I could leave. Then the register got hammered. People came in by the droves to pick up prescriptions and drop off more. Before you knew what happened, I was spinning trying to figure out where I was going and what I had to get done.

Every five minutes, drive-thru would buzz, then the phone would ring, then ten more labels would pop out of the printer and I was just getting backed up. I just couldn't keep it up either. I was already tired by this point and just didn't have the energy to keep on going. I did keep on plugging away though and kept glancing at the clock. However, continually glancing at the clock will not make it move any faster. I've learned this many times, yet I still do it when I really want to go home.

When it was time to leave, I forgot to punch out initially. I was in and out of the breakroom (to grab my shit) so fast that I almost forgot about it completely. I remembered, punched out, then got the hell out of the place and hoped to God never to have to do that ever again.

The sad part is, if they ask me to do it again, I would do it again. Only this time, I'd try and get more than two hours of sleep. That's the part that really killed me I think. I mean, getting up at 6 is hard enough for me, but on two hours of sleep? That's brutal. The worst part of it all was that I went to bed early, but couldn't sleep again because of this freaking cough.

I know I should really call my doctor, but I really don't feel like doing that right now. I just don't really care for medicine or taking it. I believe in the whole "let nature run its course" method for getting over sickness. Unfortunately, one of the stipulations is that you actually rest every now and then, which I seem incapable of doing when I should.

I hope I do get rid of this crap soon though. It's just really pissing me off now and I can't stand to feel sick and know that I'm not really running on full speed. I'm never going full speed anyway, so this just amplifies the problems I've been having. I know they're getting sick of me coughing at work by now. I'm getting sick of it to.

The day didn't get much easier when I tried to check my mail either. Last night I could not check my e-mail for the life of me for some reason or another. It would just give me an error message repeatedly that the service was unavailable (much like my online banking - grrrr). Tonight, when I went to check my mail, all of a sudden, this foreign screen pops up.

The answer? They redesigned my e-mail service.

Arrrggghhh.

I hate it when services I use are redesigned because then the damn things never work right again. I jumped ship from Hotmail for this very reason. Every month for a while it seemed like they'd change something. I was happy with my netscape webmail just the way it was too. I knew who had sent me new e-mails and was familiar with the layout.

Yahoo!Geocities just pulled a similar stunt with my web site file manager too. Now that's all fucked up, but I'll talk about that in a minute. My e-mail is just so different and it just doesn't look right. I don't even know if I can write in html anymore because there's no box to check when I'm writing a new e-mail, so I'm hoping I still have it, otherwise my e-mail to Diane is going to look very silly.

But why the need for change? Why couldn't they have left it alone? To compound the situation, I've had very little success getting into the redesigned site. Every time I try to log in, it spends fifteen minutes waiting for a reply for telling me the document contained no data. When I finally do get in, I'm confused. It's just too flashy, too complicated. I liked the frames system better and I hate frames.

I'll adjust simply because I do not feel like having to change my e-mail address in my web site for the third time. There's just too many pages for me to even consider that. It's not like I don't have the e-mail addresses either. I have e-mail with AOL, excite, and yahoo that I never use that somehow gets e-mail in them every now and then. Who's writing me to those addresses?

Geocities is the one I hate now though. They just changed their file manager and redid a few areas of the site to make it easier I guess. I've noticed that it makes no difference if you uncheck the boxes marked ".jpg," ".gif," and "other" so that you don't see files like that because it will show them anyway, which completely defeats the purpose. I uncheck them so I don't have to see them, then they show up anyway.

Then I can't activate any of my geoguides to get rid of those pop up boxes because it tells me there's an error. This has been going on for several weeks now and of course, they don't provide you with a way to contact anyone and inform them of this. It seems they must have been getting sick of complaints or something because I cannot for the life of me find anyway of contacting them about this kind of problem.

So I have to deal with those aggravations just so y'all can talk to me and read about my pitiful life.

Is it even worth it sometimes?

---

I read something in one of my e-mails that I want to post and comment about, but probably won't do until tomorrow since it's almost 3am now and I have something else I'm going to write about before that. It basically involves rules every man should follow. I'm going to post the rules and add my own comments to each one as I go through. It's funny and sad. Funny because it's so silly and sad because it seems like most guys live by the very rules mentioned.

Anyway, this is something I've been paying attention to for several years and I already understand why it happens. I just feel like talking about it so that maybe others can give me their own personal insight into this phenomenom. It's the idea of girls talking to and wanting to know guys who are at least a couple years, sometimes many more years older, than they are.

Most of the girls I talk to are either right at my age our a couple years younger and when I've gone through personals online, I've noticed that almost all the girls are looking for guys their age or older, preferably older in many cases. I even saw one where an 18 year old girl was looking for anyone from 20-40 years old.

Now, I can understand the girl wanting to talk to a guy who's a couple years, maybe even a few more than that, older than she is. It takes most of us longer to mature (if it happens at all) and it's probably easier to talk to an older guy. He might be more experienced and have a better understanding of how relationships go, and other areas not exactly related to a relationship.

I understand girls who want to meet someone who's their age or a little older. It's the ones who are like 20 and are looking for 25-35 or something along those lines that make me curious. Are guys their age just that bad to where they're no longer willing to give anyone else that age a shot again? Or is it something else that I'm not picking up on? Are the guys her age just annoying, or what? I'm not really sure of this.

I saw this in high school too. All the girls my age were infatuated with the guys that were older than them and it came back around to me when I was a junior and senior. I got a lot of looks from younger girls, but not that much from girls my own age. A lot of variables go into that scenario (like the friendship scenario), but that was generally the case.

It's just one of those aspects of human nature that I've found to be amusing. Yes, I have too much time on my hands sometimes, but at the same time, I feel I'm learning a lot by examining these things. For one, I know that a lot of girls who are 16, 17, and 18 are on the same maturity level, if not higher, then guys my own age. So it would make sense that they'd be more comfortable talking to a guy who's a little older and a little more mature. It's probably why a lot of relationships have guys who are a little older then the girl.

But a 20 year old looking for a guy up to 40 years old? I don't quite get that. I just don't see the value in being with someone who's almost double your own age. The chances of you two growing old together are slim in most cases (if the relationship even works), and that's something I would like to have happen. It would seem that the only logical (and I use that word loosely) answer would be that they think that the 40 year old could provide them with far superior security (in all sorts of facets) that a guy closer to her age would be able to.

Certainly, a 40 year old guy is likely to be better off financially, but that seems kind of shady if that's all you're looking for in a relationship. It's like with Anna Nicole Smith. Everyone knows she married that old guy because he was a billionaire and she knew he wasn't going to be around long. She still might not get any money if the guy's family wins in court, which I'm hoping happens. The bitch doesn't deserve shit. She pretended to love him when she was after money. It's so obvious.

I'm not going to ever do that myself. I do not want to marry a girl who's more than 5 years younger than me at this point in time. It's just not something I'd be comfortable with (so all you 14 year olds, stop imming me please!) and I just feel that the closer to my age the girl is, the easier things will be. This isn't necessarily true of course, but just a general statement. I talk to a 17 year old who's infinitely more mature than a lot of the girls I've talked to at times.

I just think this whole aspect of girls dating older guys is interesting to look at. Yeah, there are relationships where the guy is younger, but that is something you don't see too often (although I've seen it more and more lately) and probably won't see a lot of in the future even though I would be interested in the idea. It's more or less because of maturity, but there's always going to be another variable. It varies depending on the girl. Some girls think the older guys are more settled, more mature, and smarter. Some want an older guy because they think he'll be better off financially.

I just think it's curious to watch and I'll continue to watch it because I might not have anything better to do. I'm sick and I doubt that I want to do much on my day off right now.

Again, sorry about the lack of entries. I'll try harder to get them in. It just isn't easy when you work late sometimes. I hope everyone understands (like, all 5 of you or something).