MY LIFE - JANUARY

Saturday, January 20, 2001

I knew it was going to happen at some point. I was overtired and knew that I'd have trouble getting up sooner or later.

Why did it have to be on a Saturday when I had to work at 9am?

This is now twice that I've done this and I'm not exactly proud of it either. I apologized to Elizabeth when I got in and to everyone else. I hate it when I do this and I really can't stand it, yet I'm not surprised that it did happen. A couple things conspired to make this happen. First, it was my sixth day this week. Second, I have not been getting nearly enough sleep over the last several days and it was going to catch up with me sooner or later. Third, I woke up at 5 in the morning for no apparent reason and probably fell back asleep too close to 7am, when I was going to get up.

But I don't like excuses. I really need to get better at this getting up in the morning thing, especially for when I go back to college. Otherwise, it's going to be a very interesting experience.

It wasn't a bad day though. We weren't busy again and I was able to keep up with all the scripts being dropped by me while I typed. The pace was nice and it didn't really get hectic until 5pm, but by that point it was time for me to go. So I went home and was able to finally get some rest.

And did I ever rest. I fell asleep just after 7pm and didn't wake up until around midnight, which was a normal night's sleep for me to begin with. So now it's after 2am and I'm catching up on all these entries at long last.

The worst part? I'm still tired. God am I tired. I could sleep for days right now, which I'm kind of trying to avoid at least up until when I get my two days off in a row. Then, maybe I'll let things slide. I'm really looking forward to those two days so that I can just be lazy for at least a day and get my energy back to a higher level than it has been.

That's why the entries haven't been as long the last couple days either and there probably won't be an entry for tomorrow since I work until midnight. I just haven't had any time or energy to do any writing. I have things to talk about, I just start getting drowsy about a paragraph in, then I forget what I was writing about and end up stopping with a half-hearted apology.

But that's what happens when you work a lot. You don't have a lot of time for things, and that does include talking. Anyone who might have seen me online, I'm sorry if I didn't talk or really say much if I did talk. I'm really tired and haven't felt like talking much except through e-mail. And it won't help you to continue to try and im me even though I have an away message up.

That really pisses me off. I have the away message up for a reason, so what good does it do you to send me four or five messages? If I wanted to talk to you, I wouldn't have the away message up. I'm not trying to be mean, but if I'm trying to get something done (such as an entry like this) or something else, I'm not really going to be in the mood to talk. I wish people would just understand this, but they don't always.

Another thing. If some people want to talk to me so bad, why don't they ever reply to my e-mails? I would think that if you like talking to me that much that you'd reply, but a lot don't, at least not right away. I don't understand this. I usually write back to an e-mail the same time that I read it, but I must be one of the few who does this. I wish I knew the answer to this too so it would stop happening. Nothing like sending six e-mails and not getting any replies.

Sometimes, I just want to forget about the internet.