Sunday, February 29, 2004

I know I had said I wasn't going to post a picture of my nephew until I did an entry from him, but it seems like something that's not going to happen any time soon for a number of reasons, most of them circling around a lack of creativity. So that's my nephew. You may now make appropriate coddling sounds at this moment.

Now back to our regularly scheduled entry...

I actually wasn't going to write anything, but I felt I couldn't miss the opportunity to write on February 29th since you can only do it every four years. I already have made my stance on the issue of a leap year and won't really get back into it at the risk of putting all to sleep.

I actually feel the need to explain the insane amount of bitching I've done in this site the last few weeks. Now, I realize I use this site as a way to vent and sometimes I really vent a lot, especially when dealing with certain people, but lately, it's been absurd. Every entry has been a display of just pure venom towards anyone or anything I find issue with.

I apologize to those who've read these things and wondered what the hell has been going on with me.

The easiest solution is I've been working a lot and it's just been wearing me out. There's also the factors of those I'm working with too, such as Nichole (who continues to be a thorn in my side), Jane (who wouldn't know a register from a toilet without training), and a few others who have been hard to work with.

It isn't really anything too major, but there are things going on at my store that continuously convince me that I need to find a new career and soon. The direction of the store, the people running the store, and the way things are being done continue to remind me that a lot has changed since I started working, and I don't really like any of them.

Money's been tight lately too, so that's been adding to the level of stress I'm feeling. My mom hasn't been working for a while now to focus on school, which means I'm pulling in all the money, and while that wouldn't normally be that bad, it's been tough because of high bills coming up lately. I'm keeping above water, but just barely. Thankfully I'll be doing my taxes soon and that'll be a big lift.

Really what ended up happening was a culmination of things slamming together, me being tired, and just feeling the need to let out a surge of bitterness directed at those who I take issue with most. The attacks on the groups I mentioned five days ago, while very juvenile and vague, aren't far from how I really feel about those groups and situations.

Some of the shots I've taken at people lately may not have been kind either, but I'm not about to back off those either. There have been circumstances lately where I've talked to someone and they just managed to piss me off in some way. One girl had been imming me completely depressed and refused to listen to anything I tried to say, which ultimately led me to ignore her.

I hate doing that shit, but if you aren't going to listen, what's the point?

One thing that's happened that was funny at first was the girl I had stopped talking to a while ago who had lied about who she was started imming me again. I can only imagine what kind of excuse she'd have for everything. She'd probably say it wasn't her on the cam, that someone was pretending to be her or some other bullshit. It's really funny too because she claims to hate that others get on her accounts, yet she doesn't change passwords or keep people from accessing her names? Right.

It was pretty funny at first, but then she started using that yahoo buzz thing repeatedly tonight and it was starting to piss me off. I don't want to have to block her, but I will if she seems to think I'm going to talk to her anytime soon. The simple fact is I'm not going to. She had another chance and she fucked it up.

The good news is I'm finally talking to girls who aren't completely inept at being honest. I've finally found girls I can talk to who are honest, fun, and have good senses of humor. Now granted, only one lives near me so the chances of meeting her are infinitely greater, but if I had the chance to meet the other, I'd take it.

It's nice to have friends who aren't duds.

I'm in a much better frame of mind now though. I've had two days off the last three days and I'm feeling much more rested than I had been feeling. I hadn't been sleeping well at all for weeks, so to be able to sleep well the last few nights has really helped. The combination of that and talking to a couple of really cool girls has really helped my mood tremendously.

I recently have been buying cd's again (and no, no lectures about finances) and I've been buying a combination of old school and new school. I bought the original Wu-Tang Clan cd, the first Westside Connection cd, the new Raekwon cd, and the cd from Kanye West. I'll be the first to admit I'm surprised how good the Kanye West disc is too.

Usually, with some exceptions, good producers don't translate into good rappers, but Kanye does his thing remarkably well. The production is outstanding on the album and some of the tracks are just downright infectious to listen to. The skits are actually funny in some cases too. He's also refreshing because he doesn't try to be all gangsta in his album either. It's a pretty light-hearted album.

Raekwon's is exactly what you'd expect from a member of the Clan. Production's pretty good for the most part and the guest appearances are actually pretty decent, especially when Ghostface gets going. One song, "Once Upon a Time," will lull you to sleep if you aren't careful. And I don't need to explain the other two.

I just needed some new music to compliment the collection I have, which is now almost completely filling up a book that holds 200 discs.

Does that mean I have a problem?

Naaa.

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