MY LIFE - SEPTEMBER

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Even a year later, watching the events of 9/11/01 develop still sends a chill down my spine and causes an empty feeling to fill my stomach. The oversaturation of coverage has made the events impossible to avoid, even while at school as a broadcast presented by CNN was fed into both sides of the main building. Trying to copy notes was made nearly impossible by the constant reminder of what today was representing.

In the midst of all this, the day was like any normal day. At least to me, it didn't feel like today was that special of a day, but that was because I was trying to carry on like I normally would. I didn't want my life to be distracted once again by the events of the past, especially an event as tragic and disruptive as 9/11 was.

The high alert, the possibility of another attack, reports that the chance of something happening being high, none of it made me feel afraid to go out. There were moments where I was walking through school and felt a little apprehension, a feeling of "what if" overtaking me, but it was only for a brief moment.

I got home from school and began reading the paper, shoving aside the feelings that I had towards the abundance of news coverage. I read with renewed interest the recap of the events, the timeline of how it all unfolded. I read because I wanted to know exactly how it happened all over again, to remember how a situation that had started off as a shock became worse.

Watching the special on CBS fascinated me as I was able to watch from different perspectives how the events unfolded for two cameramen who were with the New York Fire Department by chance that day. Watching the two planes hit the buildings, the firemen flooding into the building, the buildings collapse, it was all surreal again. It was like it had just happened yesterday all of a sudden, not a year ago.

In light of the day, talk has picked up about making September 11th a holiday. My stance, well, it's kind of up in the air. On one hand, the day Pearl Harbor was attacked is a holiday, so in that tradition, yes, September 11th should be a holiday. At the same time, we have to tread carefully with this issue and make sure not to do something that goes against the wishes of the families who lost someone in the attacks.

I myself don't really know what to make of it all, but I do know that this is a day that will live deep in the hearts of those in this country who are truly patriotic. This day will live deep in my memory as it is my generations' Pearl Harbor. My freedom, along with everyone else's, was attacked one year ago today.

Life will go on though. I intend to continue living my life in a normal fashion as much as I can. No terrorist will ever change that and no one should change their way of life because of a cowardly attack. My ultimate scenario? Facing one of these terrorists face to face and asking what makes them hate us so much that they could kill thousands without thinking in the name of a God.

The healing process has continued today and will continue over the next months and years as we move away from the attacks and into the future. Barring future attacks, life will go on as normal.

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I'm giving dating another shot, this time with a girl named Corrine. I met her tonight and she's attractive and easy to talk to. She seemed to like me as much as I liked her and she pretty much told me so.

Maybe I'm going in circles with this whole thing, but I really want to get back into a relationship right now and I'm not going to sit and play some sort of waiting game with anyone. I would have liked for things to work out between Erin and myself, but since I e-mailed her a little bit ago, I haven't heard from her in any form and that really makes me wonder just how much she liked me.

So, let's see how this goes.

It was a pretty good time though. We met in the metroparks in Berea and she had her dog with her. We walked for a bit before sitting down and just talking about a lot of different things. It went really well and there was just a really good feeling going through me.

Maybe this time things will work out the way I'd like them to, but time will once again be the determining factor.