MY LIFE - SEPTEMBER

Monday, September 25, 2000

My knees may be in worse shape than I was hoping they'd be. I was talking to this one tech at Berea tonight when I described what I felt in my knee and how they would just give out at times. I told her about the clicking and popping going on in my knees and just how bad they felt at the time. She told me about her son and how it sounded exactly like what he felt. He had the same conditions and was eventually diagnosed with a rather serious knee condition.

I'm hoping that it's not that serious as his problems were because his led to surgery on one knee and he might need surgery on the other as well. I really hope my knees aren't that bad, but I have to face it. They could be and I'd never know it unless I had them examined in detail. I worry about this because they don't feel better today at all. If anything, they feel worse. Yesterday, it was just my left knee, but today I felt it in my right knee as well.

I just don't need this at all right now. I can't believe that shit like this could be possible with me. It's like I've said before though. Anytime something good seems to happen, something bad is right around the corner. It isn't a myth either. It's real. I'm just hoping that this isn't as bad as it seems it could be. I don't really feel comfortable with the prospect of facing surgery in my life.

But I have to be realistic about all of this, don't I? I just wish things would go smoothly in my life for a while.

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As you might have caught on, my knee isn't any better, and now my right knee has joined in the fun. I woke up, and when I finally went downstairs, I felt the pain in both knees. It really made me mad, but it also frustrated me because I have a long week ahead of me and I don't need this kind of setback so early in the week. It's hard for me to navigate up and down any kind of stairs right now, even if it's just two or three steps at work, or three or four flights of stairs at home.

But work wasn't always that easy. I want to sit down to just try and rest my knees, but it hurts when I go to sit down, and then it hurts when I go to stand back up, making things so much more complicated. Walking around to grab bottles of medicine took a little extra as did anything else that required extra movement. Everybody understood what I felt and took it pretty easy on me for the most part.

I got out of work at 6, so that was a bit of a break, but then I was dumb enough to go down to Berea to see how they were doing down there and found they were getting hammered pretty hard. I walked into the pharmacy and immediately began ringing people out before going to one of the terminals and just input a lot of scripts. I kept things up to speed and the techs at the filling station kept up with things on their end so we didn't get backed up while I was inputting, which was a very good thing.

We eventually got caught up around 8:30 and I left the store at 11, which gave me four and a half hours there on top of the nine hours I worked at Strongsville. I worked 13 and a half hours today on two bum knees, but it should be worth it next week when I get paid for all this overtime. I wouldn't be surprised if I went to Berea again after working at my store, not just because I'm trying to get myself ready for the transfer, but to give them a hand as well.

One thing that may happen in the near future is me splitting time between my store now and Berea, working two or three days at each store in the week and eventually just staying at Berea like I was supposed to. Lenny seems to want to do it this way, but I'll have to make it clear that it's not something that I want to do for more than a couple weeks. It would be hard on everyone since both stores would claim to need me more than the other. If I do something like that, I would not tolerate it going on too long, regardless of what Lenny thinks or wants. He's already had several months to find help, so I don't have much sympathy for him right now.

I just want this to get over with already. I'm getting frustrated by this and it's probably going to show soon.

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My mom should be paying me back some of the money she borrowed from my credit card so that she could make some ends meet. It can't come at a better time either since I have a payment due this week and it's close to being maxed out. I never intended this to happen, but $850 is towards my car and my mom's mortgage payment, so it's okay. The rest is probably just interest or something. In any case, I need to get the balance down and I need to get it down as soon as possible.

I also need to start getting a little money saved up from all the working I'm doing, which is why I've told Steve that I can work anytime this week after 6:30 and whenever I'm off. I'll be keeping in touch with him to try and get as many hours in as possible. I could use the money, although I think I'll only have a computer payment to go along with my credit card in the next couple of months, so it should be a little easier from here on out.

All it took was me getting my car insurance out of the way, which was around $600 for half a year. It's rough, but I think I've made it past the roughest stretch of the year for me money wise.

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I'm listening to LL Cool J rap the way that is probably the best way to rap aside from metaphor rapping (think Method Man and Redman). He's telling a story in this one song, "Homicide," something that you don't hear too much in hip hop anymore, at least not that well. This song is backed up by a good beat provided by DJ Scratch, who provides the production on about half the album. It's really just him illustrating two stories on black men who were caught up in their own ways and ended up dead, then he goes on to explain about how middle America ignores crime until it's in their own backyard, like with Columbine.

Overall, this album isn't that bad, although I'm sure he's done better in his past. But LL certainly has kept it going for longer than most and is right up there with the Dr. Dre's and Ice Cube's in the rap game. I'm just glad to listen to some music where it's not all about flossing and showing off the money being made, like the Cash Money Millionaires. That's an act that's really getting old now and I just can't stand listening to Big Tymers try to rap. Juvenile and B.G. are the only ones in that camp who have any kind of lyrical skills, and they floss too much.

I guess it's just seeing all that jewelry and shit has left me feeling a little fed up. Go figure.

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There isn't going to any Tribe Watch since I really didn't catch either game. I know the Indians won game one of their day-night doubleheader 9-2, but they obviously lost game two and I don't know what the score was at this point. Tomorrow I should be able to give you a good recap, unless I'm at Berea or talking online to someone like Jennifer or Dani. It just depends. Their record is now 85-71.