MY LIFE - 2003

Social Experiment #316 - Thursday, October 9, 2003

Previously in My Life...

Dave found out his sister was pregnant before she was even about to tell him. What does this mean for the family and their relations? Dave is also dreading a physical inventory of the pharmacy he works out because of the insane hours and is also not thrilled about doing housework. What will he ever do? Cue dramatic music

Okay, so that was pathetic. Then again, so is the fact that I last wrote an entry back in March. So a few things have managed to change over a long period of time. I've had a girlfriend and then became single again when she decided to live in Virginia instead of here. My sister's about a month from giving birth to the baby boy she's been carrying. Her boyfriend's a dick and thinks I'm freeloading off my mom. I still have no ambition.

I apparently don't know how to take things slow. You see, I'm sort-of-kind-of-in-a-slight-sort-of-way seeing someone now. Who knew that talking to a girl on the phone for one night would be all she'd need to want to go out with me, despite living an hour or two away from each other?

At least this time, I decided to go for it on the second phone call. Yeah, way to go Dave. You should just a tad bit more patience this time than the time before. But hey, she's a funny-ass girl and she's pretty damn hot on top of it all. I hope she's fully aware of what she's getting herself into with me. Truth is, I'd be willing to make the drive to see her every now and then. I think she'd be worth it, plus the distance will keep us from getting overly sick of each other. I just need to get an idea of when it's best to talk to her.

In other news, the last time I wrote in this section, I was a little miffed that I had cut my hair too short. I believe it was about a week later when I decided to buzz the rest of it off and say the hell with it. Now I keep it short all the time so I don't have to mess with gel. Frankly, I couldn't stand the gel. Sure, I might look a tad better with it, but I don't look bad without it either.

My sister's boyfriend thinks I'm freeloading off my mom. Okay, we'll pretend that I'm not giving my mom $140 every week. We'll pretend that I don't cook, clean, or do anything around here (cleaning thing I sometimes forget), then, I can be called a freeloader. Since I do give my mom that money though, I really don't know how I am. I don't get that part, but then again, ever since he moved out, had a fight with my sister, and generally pissed me off, we haven't gotten along. There's no love lost between us.

Basically, something's been continuously happening over the last several months. If it hasn't been something with my ex, it's been something with the house. Now, before everyone starts thinking I hate my ex, let me just say I'm referring to the time before we made nice and ended up becoming really great friends. Let's face it, when you're one of like two people in Ohio that she still wants to talk to, then that says something about you. Besides, she left me such a nice note before she left that I couldn't be mad at her if I wanted to.

Truth is, I love Megan very much, but it's a different kind of love now. It's the you-better-not-have-made-a-bad-decision-or-I'm-gonna-beat-your-ass kind of love. I want her to be happy and she's doing what makes her happy, although she complains about it like there's no tomorrow.

Now I have something to try and work out with Ally and hope that it goes well. If nothing else, I want to see if something like this can work for us. She clearly has a thing for me, but we'll see how long it lasts. For her sake though, I'm not revealing much information on her. Not because I'm worried about what she'd think if she saw something in here, but because I really don't care for people to know that aspect about me. When we've been together several months, I'll reveal more.

Besides, most people that read this are coming from Bolt, which is how she found me. This relationship, it'll just be between her and me, although she might tell people all about it. Me? I like to keep things personal.

How funny is that? I like to keep things personal, but I have a web site that anyone can see.

---

A month or so ago I was considering doing something concerning what-ifs in my life. I'm going to do that now with the reminder that these are not regrets, nor are they things I actually wish would have happened. These are just observations about how things might have been if certain circumstances were different.

Most obvious for me, what if my dad hadn't done drugs or become an alcoholic? I really wonder what life would've been like growing up with a normal, responsible dad to go along with my mom? Would I have been the insecure child that I ended up being? I don't think I would have. I think I would've been less scared of people, more willing to meet new people, and may have been more successful on a social level. On the flip-side of that, I could've become an arrogant asshole who thought he was entitled to things instead of earning them like I have.

What if I had been popular in school? Really though. What if I had been a popular person, someone that everyone wanted to be around, someone that the girls loved? I think it would be the same result as the last example above, although you can never tell. Some popular guys and girls are really nice people despite all the attention. I knew a few of them in high school.

What if I wasn't shy my whole life? Would I be the guy I am today, or would I be some loud-mouth jerk who annoys people because he doesn't shut up? This one's a mixed bag because you never know what confidence will do for a person. Some people become great people, the kind of people who'll be there you for whenever you need them while others just become assholes, those in search of more and more attention.

What if I hadn't gotten my first job where I did? What if Revco wasn't hiring at the time and I never got that job? I really have no idea where I'd be right now. This job has not only shown me that I like helping people out, but it's really helped with my shyness and confidence. I know I'm good at what I do, I know that I can deal with people, and I know that I have fun. So what if I had worked at McDonald's or something like that? That's something I don't really want to think about. The only real direction I've had in my life has been because of my job.

What if I had done good every year in high school? I only had one good year, my junior year. So I had some distractions the other three years, either with my dad, or, well, with my dad. I sometimes wonder how different things would be right now if I had been able to do what I wanted to do in school and had actually done well. I might be through with college, be in my career, and maybe, just maybe, be thinking about marriage. Who the hell knows?

What if I prepared to play sports better? By this, I mean what if I had worked out more, built myself up more so that I could play the sports I love better than I already could? Would I possibly be on the verge of making it in pro sports? Hey, I was awfully damn good at basketball, so you never know what the case might have been had I had a chance to get involved on a more serious level. As it stands though, circumstances kept that from happening.

I could probably go on with this, but I think y'all get the picture. I am happy with who I am and wouldn't change it for a minute. That's the bottom line.

---

I haven't really mentioned much of work because, well, work has sucked lately. I find myself at odds with people more and more every time I go in there, not just because some of the people I work with are annoying, but because no one seems to want to follow rules well.

Example one involves one of our day techs. Now, one rule is you can't have two people on vacation at the same time. Another is you can't take two weeks in a row, at least not without approval. Well, this tech decided that they wanted to not only take two weeks in a row, but the weeks they picked were already occupied by other people. What does my pharmacist-in-charge do? Let's said tech go for one week.

This tech was supposed to be back this week. How many days have they worked this week? Uh, gee, let me think....NONE! Medical leave now because they walked too much on vacation and hurt their leg or something like that.

The other problem I'm having since I'm writing the schedule again is multiple people asking the same days off. I can't give requests to more than two people at a time, yet three, four people try to take the same day off. I can't have this happening. I need my PIC to back me up, but he doesn't seem to want to do what I need him to do.

I'm in a bind, y'all. A real bind. Oh well though. I'll just start writing the schedule the way I need to and fuck what everyone thinks.

One last thing before I end this, I shaved the goatee off. I got sick of the damn thing and I frankly had forgotten what my chin looked like. So it's gone. Will it ever come back again? Not for a long time.