MY LIFE - OCTOBER

Thursday, October 19, 2000

I have to say this or I'll never let it go. This has been something that has been bothering me for the last couple of days and is really no big deal, but today wasn't a great day and the extra annoyance didn't really help things out.

For the last three days, someone keeps turning on the air conditioning. I don't know who's doing it, but the store is suddenly getting cold right around 5 or 5:15pm, and it isn't necessary on days like today and any other day this week. It's 60° outside people. Who the hell turns the air conditioning on with it 60° outside? Outside of Jack Frost, I can't think of anyone who's stupid enough to do that. It just isn't really necessary.

When I go to look at the thermostat, it's usually turned way down too. It's not like someone's turning the air to 67° or 68°. It's usually like 65°. The one night the thermostat was down to 60° for whatever reason. It just doesn't work very well and I started to voice my displeasure today when the temperature was way down again today.

I know who it is too. Whenever I confront them about it, they tell me that when they walk in here, they start sweating immediately. Now for some reason, no one who's been working the entire day has this problem, but when this person walks in, it's like Arizona inside or something. So the heat's turned off, the air's turned on, and everyone else gets to be cold while this person feels comfortable at last.

Of course, they can't figure out why they're warm after working either. That's when it really gets cold inside, after this person has been working hard for a while. Well, I'm sorry, but sweating is something that happens. The air conditioning should not be turned on just because you feel warm. It's inconsiderate to the rest of us and to the customers who aren't expecting to walk into an ice box when it's already cold enough outside for them.

But that was just minor compared to what else happened today. Take my little attempt to put my check in the bank so that I had a little bit of money, as compared to having none when I went to work today. Well, they wouldn't because it was dated for tomorrow, an understandable reason. This makes me wonder why CVS would mail them out a day early. Why not wait until Friday to send them out? When employees pick them up, they can't do anything with them until the next day anyway. It doesn't make sense.

So I wasted a trip right there. Then Lenny comes into the back and tells me to make sure that Angela knows to ring when there's a line of more than three people. I told him okay, but if we're busy, I'm calling up the extra help that we've had. He must have been told that we weren't helping out the front when it got busy up there by someone who wasn't happy and a bit clueless as well.

I know it was busy at times last night. I would have loved to help, but it was busy when we were busy and there was another employee working on the floor. That's why we called her up, because we were busy as well. That's going to be the case from now until I leave. Whenever Angela is filling scripts, I'm going to be making sure she's doing okay, especially if the pharmacist is busy. I can't train her if I have to help when someone else can help out instead.

Then Lenny suggests that maybe I come up with mock situations to try and show her what to do in certain situations. I'm not doing that. You cannot possibly show someone what to do unless you actually have to do it right then and there. There will be none of this "and if this were to happen" shit, unless Tom feels like doing that. There's just no way to properly address all the things that can happen without experiencing them.

Lenny eventually left me to actually eat my dinner tonight. I don't understand why people need to interrupt my breaks every time I go on one. Just let me be by myself for a while, please.

---

I was supposed to be off tomorrow, but because of my own stupidity, I'm not. Steve asked me if I could work Friday last Monday, and I agreed to work 12-8. So instead of having time off, I have to go in and work a full shift in the busiest store in the district. I also have to do my banking and run to my store since I left my pharmacy tech jacket in the back office and there are some things in the pockets that I need to have with me.

That means I have to get up at around 8pm, get ready, head down to Strongsville and get my stuff, then head back up towards Parma where I'll put my check in the bank, see how much time I have and either head off to work, or go back home until I have to leave at around 11:30-11:40am. This makes my Friday much more complicated than it probably should be and doesn't allow me a chance to rest until either Saturday night or Sunday.

But I agreed to work this Friday because I felt that the extra money couldn't hurt me. I can handle working the extra day, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to do so. I know my own limitations and what I'm able to do and I'm not going to over exert myself. The only thing that worries me is that I might still have this headache tomorrow and I don't need that. This is the kind of headache that drives me crazy the most.

It's the kind where it really affects how you feel and how you handle customers. Instead of being nice and helpful to customers, I would rather get them in, then get them out without any fuss or conversation. I just don't have the tolerance for it and I think it shows much more than I'd like it to. But it's how I am. I make no apologies for how I act when I don't feel good.

So I can't have this headache tomorrow or it's going to be a really long day. I should probably vacuum up my room and get rid of some of this cat fur, which is no doubt contributing to my problems, but I'm really tired tonight and unsure if I'll do that or not.

I'll probably just go right to bed after I finish this up.

---

Some good things came out of today though. Number one, I finally mailed out my application for direct deposit so that I don't have to deal with this paycheck shit anymore. Number two, Angela continues to get better and better each day, making it more and more likely that I'll be able to transfer quickly and without too much hassle. However, I'm going to wait and see to make sure that's what happens. Things can change in a hurry, but I'm hoping that the situation works out for me.

The one thing that worries me is Lenny and Tom expecting me to help them out once I transfer. Lenny seems to think that somehow, I'll be able to help cover Debbie's next vacation, which seems way out of the question as far as I'm concerned. I might be able to give them a day or two, but there's no way that I'm going to tell Steve I can't work one week because #4300 needs my help. It isn't going to happen. When I transfer, I will not be responsible for that store and I intend to keep it that way.

I'm not going to bounce between the stores. If Debbie goes on vacation, then they'll have to figure something else out. I cannot possibly work at both stores and I'm not going to be in a position to short-change my own. And I know neither Lenny or Tom will like that answer. They'll probably think I'm ungrateful and mean. Well, let's consider this for a moment: I should've transferred at least two months ago.

But I didn't. I could've raised all hell with the union and done a lot of nasty things, but I didn't. I could've forced the transfer in some way, but I didn't do that. I instead stayed until they found someone to train and replace me. I don't think that I need to make anymore sacrifices for this store. I've done more with more patience than most people would ever do.

But they can think whatever they want once I'm gone. It won't concern me. If they want to call me names, then they can call me names. I will not have any part of it.

---

I'm tired right now, which is why I'm not really going to make much more of an effort to write than I already have. The last two entries have probably been among my longest entries, and both days I could've wrote more but it was already late when I wrote them. Tonight it isn't so late, but I'm very tired and I have to get up tomorrow morning to start a long day.

If I feel up to it, I'll probably go after Feagler again tomorrow since he wrote another column, this one on a young man who was shot down by police after pointing a gun at the police and after shooting at another person.

Feagler's contention in at least three parts of the column are that this was something that rap created, once again making it sound like he thinks that all people who listen to rap are doomed to violence. I'm just getting so sick and tired of him blaming rap and entertainment in general on problems that occur in the world. I'm sick of him generalizing things and making it seem that all people who like rap are bad.

I think I'll write him another letter and explain to him that I'm a person who listens to rap, without a large "rap" sheet that he seems to think that I should have. I'll also point out to him that a large majority of people who listen to rap realize it's just a form of entertainment, not something to imitate and that most of us are not violent deliquents.

But if I don't, it's because I'm too tired. Tired from working and tired from trying to get a message across to a man who just doesn't want to listen to anyone young.