MY LIFE - OCTOBER

Friday, October 27, 2000

Okay.

It's 1:30am and I just got home from my friend's house. That's not the issue here though. No, the issue is, when I left work yesterday, we didn't have any pharmacist for tomorrow morning. I work tomorrow morning. We do have a pharmacist for tomorrow night. I don't feel like working tomorrow night. I was told I would get a call informing of what was happening.

Well, the little green light on my answering machine is not flashing. It does not flash when there is no message for me to listen to. CVS' number isn't on my caller ID either. In short, there was no phone call today. Calling the store earlier left me with no answer since they obviously had closed early today. I was not happy when I walked home and found no message and I'm not any happier now.

Basically, it means I'll find out tomorrow morning when I arrive at work at 9am to see if there's anyone there. If so, then everything will be okay. There won't be any screaming or yelling or problems with me.

If there isn't...well, let's say that I don't know if I'll be showing up at all. I'm not happy by this and will be even less happy if I get to the store and no one shows up. I do not like waking up in the morning for nothing. I hate waking up in the morning for nothing on a weekend. I'm not a pleasant person to deal with in those circumstances. I do not really give a shit about anyone at all when things like that happen.

I know, it sounds bad. But I don't really appreciate coming home and finding out, well, nothing. I really wanted to know if we were going to be open tomorrow morning and I wanted to know ahead of time. But that's not going to happen. The only thing I can assume is that no one called because we're actually open. But if that's not the case...

Well, don't think that I'll be easy to talk to.

---

Contrary to what you might be thinking based upon what I wrote there, you might think that I'm in a bad mood. I'm not. But I'm not going to pretend that it's all good if no one tells me something that I feel should be made known to me. But be that as it may be, I can't really do anything about that situation. Today was actually a pretty good day.

I woke up, drove down to Brunswick, and had my car's maintenance check done around 10am. I got out of there around 11am and went over to the bank to deposit my paycheck, which was around $270 for 49 hours of work. With that taken care of, I forget what I did next. The next few hours are kind of a blank. It could either be because I didn't do anything or because I'm tired right now and couldn't remember my own name if it weren't for the fact that my wallet is sitting in front of my computer, open to my driver's license.

However, I digress. I mowed the lawn today and it was a bit more of a challenge than it probably should have been. Of course, all the leaves falling all over the place didn't help, couple that with the fact that's it been like two months since anyone's mowed the lawn and you have the potential to have a serious overrun problem. So that was a little more strenuous than I'd like it to be.

Then there's that damn dog of ours. I just wonder how long before he figures out that the lawn mower is something that can kill him. I've never seen a dog do what he does. He goes right after the thing, while it's on, while I'm mowing the lawn. He snarls at it, snaps at it, and generally gets way too close for comfort for me. No matter what I try, he doesn't stop doing it either. He just keeps going at it.

So after finishing contending with him and the billions of small objects shooting out from the lawn mower (not to mention our dog's little presents all over the place), I was able to go upstairs and sit for a while to rest. It was warm today and I had been stupid and left my room closed up. I walked upstairs and thought I was going to suffocate for a while, it was that stuffy.

I'm pretty sure I ate something, but I'm not totally convinced. I'm not all that good at eating when I have time to, much less when I'm actually hungry. I'm pretty sure I ate this time though. But I'm off the point again. I pretty sat around for a while until around 7 before calling my store to see if we were open. The lack of an answer told me all I needed to know and helped get me pissed off a little bit. It also added to my already dangerous sarcasm for when I went to my friend's house.

So I was there for several hours doing any number of things before heading home really late. I almost forgot to stop for gas, but I did. If I hadn't, you might not have ever heard from me again. Strange things can happen at night. Especially at 1am. But I made it home.

I know all of you out there are just so upset.

---

Next week will bring about some changes for me. First off, I'm exiting my teen years on Monday. I turn 20 and probably should stop harassing everyone in the teen chat rooms and forums like I've been doing. But I probably won't just because there are so many teens out there who just act like they're gods and goddesses of the world at times.

So the harassment isn't going to end anytime soon. If anything, I might even step it up a little bit. I just get tired of seeing 17 year-olds on "Cops" getting arrested for having almost 2 pounds of marijuana. I get tired of seeing people younger than me coming in for pregnancy tests. That kind of thing is disheartening, especially when a girl who looks attractive and sensible is the one buying the test.

It makes me really wonder about how the world's going to turn out. The drinking, the drug use, the rampant sex, and for what? Cheap entertainment? I'm sorry, but I don't think getting the most out of life means doing shit that'll probably kill me in the long run. But I'm just boring that way. And you know what? I'm glad that some people think I'm boring. I'm glad that some people think I'm stupid for not doing all the cool things that everyone else likes to do.

I don't really care to associate myself with you if you're going to say things like that. I don't care to know who you are if you're going to think that way and I don't really care if you like it or not. I don't have time to tolerate people who think there's only one way to do things. I don't have time to put up with people who think being popular means more than anything else, and to be popular means doing all that shit.

No. It's much more fun to be on the fringe making fun of all the drunk people who are high and smoking cigarettes while trying to get laid. It's fun to be in that position. You can say whatever you want and no one will ever remember that you said it.

I know this because I've done this. I've sat around while others have gotten so wasted, they can barely walk. I'm not going to say I have anything against people who drink. But those who drink soley to get drunk, that's where I have some issues.

Many of my friends drink. Many don't. The whole idea is that you're cool to me and I'll be cool to you. I know some of you are thinking I just said the opposite earlier. I said I don't like the things that people do, and that's what makes it even tougher. I know these are cool people too. I know they think something of me (otherwise I'd be lying in a puddle of goo formerly known as my face). I don't have anything against them.

I just don't like what they do. But that's something I can't really control, is it? People are going to do what they want to do, regardless of how a pion like me might feel.

But I respect that independence. Just don't throw up on me. Then things might be different.

The other change (I was talking about change, right?) is my upcoming transfer to CVS in Berea. I've been at CVS in Strongsville for over three years, and while the last year has been tension filled, I don't think I'll be leaving with too many bad memories. I've had a lot of fun over those three years and worked with a lot of fun people.

There have been some bad things and some bad people that I've had to deal with, but all in all, it's been a good experience. I've worked with customers and I've seen what goes on behind the counter in a drug store and behind closed doors in a business. I feel that I'm more responsible now than I was before I started working, that I've grown up a lot from the experience.

Berea's going to be different. The people, the atmosphere, everything will seem different. But I'm looking forward to that challenge. I'm ready.