MY LIFE - NOVEMBER


Dave

Social Experiment #285 - Tuesday, November 12, 2002

For some reason, I keep wanting to put "July" in as the month. Wishful thinking that is. It might have to do with the 40° outside, but I can't be too sure.

Today was, well, it wasn't exactly a stellar day by any stretch. I never really went to sleep last night. I was talking with this girl I met through Bolt much of the night, primarily because she's on the west coast, so by the time she's ready to go to bed, it's around 4am here. I enjoy talking with her so much that I hate ending the conversations early, so I ended up staying up all night and then went to school at 8:30am.

In actuallity, class went pretty good considering I had no sleep. Chemistry lab was pretty easy, if not a little confusing thanks to a lack of direction from my professor. The lecture test wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either, so that ended up working out.

However, two words resonated throughout my head before the test had been handed out: "I'm fucked." I seriously thought I was screwed. Turned out there were only a few questions that I was completely in the dark on and even those I think I managed to at least make a good guess on. So the test could've been a lot worse.

Man I'm exhausted right now. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to manage getting the main topic of this entry out. If I don't make it that far, please accept my apologies. I didn't not mean to smack my head on the keyboard.

Anyway, I went to a mechanic to have my brakes looked at and of course, the news wasn't good. Not only were my rotors shot in the front, but the back brakes had a leak in them, which was contributing to the problem. All together, it would have been $527 to have my brakes fixed all around.

That wasn't going to fly. I had $200 to work with, so they fixed what they could for that amount and by the end of the month, I'm going to take the car back in and have the rest of the job finished.

Sticker shock doesn't begin to describe how I felt when I saw that estimate. The same thing had happened on my last car, only without the leak. That's why it was more this time than the last time. I thought I might have gotten it in on time too, but obviously I was wrong on that part as well.

Not a whole lot has gone right today. Two people that I really wanted to talk to never came on, something that disappoints me, but what am I to do? I can't get mad because they don't have time to get online, although it's been a couple days on the one girl since we last talked. That's the girl that lives near me and the one that said she wanted to meet me and hang out sometime.

As I've said, there is hope that something will happen. However, I have not resigned to hold my breath just yet. When it's a done deal, then I'll believe that this is the one that'll work.


There's something that a few people have picked on with me lately. I'm a walking contradiction. Now, you're probably sitting there wondering just what the hell I'm talking about. Truthfully, haven't a clue. I'm winging it right now. But in all seriousness, I do present a contradictory presence.

For example, I listen to rap, yet I don't believe in many of the ideas behind rap or the lifestyles associated with it. I do not dress like someone who listens to rap and I do not try to be black.

Another is my general appearance. If you were to see me in public, I would look like a guy who's completely impossible to communicate with. You wouldn't look at me and think that I'm some smart ass guy with silly things to say. I don't give off that vibe and that's a contradiction of who I am.

I have a goatee and a little bit of facial hair overall, similar to the way that some guys try to look like thugs. I'm not doing that. I just like the goatee and don't feel like shaving every single day.

I look like someone who wouldn't know the first thing about sex. Ask the girl I was talking to last night, Jeny (not you Jen), if I have any kind of experience. She'll tell you. Truth is, I'm not the most experienced, but I'm certainly not inexperienced.

Many of the things that you'd expect from me, you don't get. It's not done on purpose, it's just how things go. I've never taken much stock into how I was being and how it might affect other people's views on me to begin with and I certainly don't care when someone tries to point out that I don't do the things that rappers talk about in their music.

This would probably be a better entry if I wasn't nearly falling asleep while trying to write it, but as it stands, this is the best that I can do, especially after writing as much as I have the last couple of days prior to today.

I just don't have it in me tonight. Sorry.

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