Saturday, December 11, 1999
Why can't I ever be so right about something in school? Last night I wrote that I had a feeling that my dad would walk in at any moment, and he did. At 2:40 in the morning. Drunk and high with a vendetta against all in the house. I've never had such a tense, miserable night as last night was. I guess he did get his unemployment check yesterday. All I have to say is damn the idiot who got it to him. Well, and thanks too.
He did walk in at 2:40am this morning. Rather than take his coat off and go straight to bed, he went downstairs and started harrassing my mom. After about 15 minutes of this, she pulled herself out of bed and went to lay on the couch. He followed and starting getting louder and more vulgar. Already I could hear him talking about how he deserved his pleasure. Most of his talk revolved around oral sex and it was becoming increasingly disgusting to listen to.
After a while, he began calling upstairs, demanding that I leave my room and come down so that my mom could express her love for me. I ignored him as well as his claims that she's been doing things to me since 1992. That's funny. The other night, it was since I was 2 years old. C'mon dad? How long have I been getting "special treatment?" Anyway, he went on like this, waking my sister up, and becoming louder by the minute.
Out of the blue, he began yelling at the top of his lungs all while throwing pillows and other objects at my mom. This was getting serious. Five minutes later, there was a crash downstairs followed by another shortly thereafter. He had pushed the coffee table upside down, the had picked it back up, knocking everything off of it in the process. He had never done this before. Between all the crashing, I would later find out that he had kicked my mom too.
He eventually made his way upstairs where he opened up my sister's door before trying to get into my room. He must have been surprised to find it didn't open and tried to apply more pressure. He finally figured out it wasn't budging because I was leaning against it, keeping it from opening all the way. I gave one good push with my feet which shut the door and knocked my dad back away from the door. The door creaked and cracked, but didn't give like I thought it would. My dad then went back downstairs to continue his assault on my mom.
After a few more minutes of him losing control, my sister took my phone and dialed 911 and got the police over here. Two talked to my mom and sister, two talked to my dad, and one officer talked to me. My dad, like usual, refused to answer their questions and accused them off raping my mom like everyone else. After some questioning, they must have felt there was enough evidence for them to arrest him and charge him with domestic violence. He said as he was being led out that he'd like to press charges as well, but the police officers just told him to go with them to the station where he could say whatever he wanted.
After he was led out, some pictures were taken of our living room with everything in disarray. The police asked me if any damage was visible to my door, but I couldn't find anything more substantial than the bottom hinge being partially pulled away from the door. My mom went down to the station with the police and got back shortly after 5am. More than two hours after he game home drunk and high, he was sitting in jail and were all shaken.
I called off of work and spent much of the morning trying to catch up on sleep. At around 3:30pm, I drove my mom to Fairview General Hospital to have her knee looked at, but it didn't appear to be more than a painful bruise. After getting home at around 6pm, we pretty much sat around for the rest of the night, enjoying the quiet that we had yearned for several weeks. However, you could still tell that we were both tired and barely staying awake at the time.
The events of last night are different from any other domestic problem that we have ever had before. My dad had been violent, but never directly towards anyone. He had never intentionally hurt my mom until last night when he gave her a good kick, which he naturally denies ever giving. He had never flipped furniture over before like he did last night either, which has led us to believe that he's regressing even faster than we had previously believed.
He did things last night that were both old news and new. Let's hope that we can get out of here soon before things deteriorate any further than we already have. One life is in danger. Three more don't need to be.
Some are probably wondering just how my dad has gone so far south of late. A lot of it has to do with his drug and alcohol abuse. Those are things that go back many years and have more than caught up with him as of late. Another factor could be that he's mentally unstable. Couple that with drug use and you have a pretty dangerous combination working against you. His mental state is probably more responsible for the things that have happened lately than drug use, but the drugs are enhancing the mood swings.
He continues to contend that my mom has slept with just about every police officer and court official in the county. He's only recently included me in the mix, claiming that my mom has performed oral sex on me since 1992. Kind of funny how I don't recall having that kind of thing done to me by my mom, ever. But to him, it's a regularly occurrence, which led him to try and force my mom to do that kind of thing last night on both of us. Since I wouldn't leave my room, he got pissed.
He's been mad because we won't pay the bills. More specifically, we won't pay his bills, the ones that are in his name. Two such bills are the cable bill and phone bill. He's had the idea that my mom should be paying for those two bills for unstated reasons. We know the reasons though. He has no money for bills, and when he does get money, he blows it on drugs and alcohol. He's also been mad because we won't buy food for him to eat either. He wants to have drugs, then he can buy his own food. I'm not supporting an addict, even if he is my dad.
He's mad because we are serious about moving. Although he claims he wants us all, excluding Teresa, out of his house, he actually wants us to stay. He knows damn well that if we leave, he doesn't have anyone to try and get anything out of and he's mad about this. He's threatened to take custody of Teresa, which won't happen, as a stall tactic that's clearly backfiring on him. How is he going to custody of the very daughter who has called the police on him? It's not going to happen.
He thinks it is, which makes it even more depressing. He's so far gone, he can't seem to distinguish what's real from what's in the movies. To him, this must be like one of those bad action movies or pornos that he watches all the time. He has a clear obsession with oral sex and is convinced that my mom is a slut. However, that's exactly what he's hoping for. His dream is to have sexual activity going on constantly, so he comes up with this idea that everyone's screwing my mom. By his thinking, he feels he deserves a piece of that pie. He can't accept that these accusations are wild and untrue.
I've told him already that I'll be gone soon and that he'll never hear from me again. I'm mad at his parents and siblings for their refusal to accept that he has a problem and I'm mad at these people who help him fall down farther and farther. There's nothing his family can do for him except to stop supporting him with money. If it weren't for them, this house would have been forclosed on a month ago. He's going to kill himself someday. Unfortunately, that's probably the day the rest of the family will learn.
In any case, I didn't go into work today. There was just no way that I was going to make it even if I tried my hardest. Two hours of sleep just doesn't cut it when you have to work 8 hours or more. I'm going to go into work tomorrow and explain what happened so that everything is clear between my coworkers and me. As much as I hated calling off, I didn't have much of a choice.
I can understand why they'd be skeptical about this whole mess. It's not something that you can just look at and say that you know how to resolve it. This is something that most of them will never have to deal with ever with anyone and I have to realize that. There's no way that anyone there can fully comprehend what's going on.
I need to keep the air cleared up regarding this situation. I'm going with my mom to the court hearing Monday morning that's at least going to take out my school and possibly part of my day at work. I don't want to lose the hours or lose the time at school, but my life is more important than anything else right now. This matter has priority over everything else right now. I'm sure everyone at work will understand. At least I hope they will.
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