April 7, 1999
More furniture moved today. Today was day two of the room switch ordeal, which meant it was my turn to really do a lot of the work. Back and forth with furniture I went carrying it up two flights of stairs and down two flights of stairs. The most difficult piece to move proved to be my younger sister's desk while the most painful was a set of shelves. I somehow got my fingers smashed between the shelves and the bathroom doorway leaving myself with some sore fingers.
Basically, I moved stuff all day and none of it was mine. I finally was done moving their stuff around when I figured it was about time that my room got a remodel for the spring and summer months. I began moving things around, had my CDs ready to go, and was just about to really get going when all of a sudden, my dad calls. My mom and sister spend a little time on the phone with him and it was revealed that I had to take my sister into Cleveland so that she could get some money and a present from him.
I was just thrilled. Instead of picking up my room, I now had to go visit my dad. Then my mom tells me that while I'm out I could get some litter for the litter boxes in the basement and gave me $60. With a sigh I did everything that was asked of me. I saw my dad, which was uneventful thankfully. We have grocery money now and litter. I then had to run back out because my mom decided that the spaghetti wasn't going to be made until tomorrow. I went and got the food, watched "SouthPark" with my mom and sister, and then turned on the Indians game.
I got a lot accomplished today. Too bad none of what I wanted to do got done. I guess I'll have to work on my room in bits and pieces until this weekend, when I can finally finish things up. However, there's still a lot of stuff that needs to be moved around in our house and junk all over the place. For a while you couldn't even find my room if you tried there was so much stuff blocking the doorway. I eventually went up there and threw everything out of the way because it's my room dammit. If I don't have a part in this switch, don't inundate me with all of your junk!
I can't wait until this whole thing is over and I can go back to my normal life. Then again, I'm not too sure what normal is anymore.
As I said earlier, I saw my dad today for the first time since Christmas. He has to be on something because he wasn't mad at me at all for not talking to him. It's almost like nothing happened, and that bothers me. Either he's just playing some sort of act or he's been so doped up that he has no memory of me telling everyone I don't want to talk to him. It boggles my mind to no end.
Everytime he's called I've told my sister or mom that I refused to talk to him. My mom told him this repeatedly so it's not like he had no idea or anything. I just think that he's so doped up when he calls sometimes that he doesn't remember any of the conversation the next day. I just felt that something was up because he acted like there was absolutely nothing wrong and that nothing had happened, which is complete bullshit.
I really did not want to go up there but I did anyway because my mom couldn't and my sister deserved to get whatever he had. So I agreed to driving her up there. I guess in a way I was vaguely curious to how he'd react to me showing up, but I don't know whether to be disappointed that he wasn't mad or relieved. I've been at the stage where I'm just fed up with him and his shit, so I guess I was wondering what he'd say to me. He said nothing other than the usual junk he says to me. We talked sports for a minute before telling him I had to get back because I had a lot that needed to get done, which was true.
Besides, I hate interrupting his porn sessions.
Health-wise, I'm probably in the best condition that I've been in since last fall. I feel pretty good and just have my normal level of congestion which comes from being slightly allergic to the cats. This can't, and won't last very long though. Within the next few weeks the trees are going to begin to bloom with flowers, which is my primary allergy, tree pollen. I get it bad too, even with my Claritin. I love spring and all, but it's probably my most miserable and irritating time because of my allergies.
You think I'm cranky sometimes now, just wait a couple weeks. I get about 10 times worse during this time period which means my sarcasm becomes a lot sharper and my mouth a lot quicker to respond with one of those sarcastic remarks. I have been known to become just downright wicked with some of the comments I've made in the past, and this year looks no different. Especially at work where I do not hesitate to speak what comes to mind.
Yet through all this, I still love spring and enjoy this time of year. It still has its cold snaps, but overall the weather is quite pleasant with the temperature typically hovering between 65-70°, like today. I guess it's the weather freak in me that makes me enjoy spring though. This is the time of year when the weather can get really interesting. We start seeing thunderstorms again, which I love to watch, and things just get a little crazy sometimes. I love the unpredictable weather of spring, probably because I'm so damned unpredictable myself.
Smart-ass comments and crazy weather. I guess I can live with that. I just hate the miserable feelings I get from my allergies.
I really need to start reading this book we have on starting online businesses because my mom and I have been approached about building one for a friend. This guy sells horror props and the like and wants to sell it over the internet. Somehow it was mentioned to him that my mom and I can build web sites and he asked my older sister to ask us if we'd be interested. I don't know if my mom ever called him back, but we are. So she went and bought "Starting an Online Business for Dummies" and told me to read it.
Okay. I don't have a problem with that. We'd be making money off of this deal so I don't have the slightest problem with this. It could also prove to be a very good learning experience since selling over the internet is much cheaper than an actual shop. Get yourself a web server, some secure pages for the transactions online, and keep track of what you're doing for tax time and you're all set.
Now I don't want to sound like anyone can do this, but I feel that my mom and I can do this just fine. We really don't have much to lose and this could prove to be rather profitable. My mom will control the graphics and set-up while I'll probably actually do the coding behind the pages. I'm not sure on that just yet, but that's where it seems to be going since I'm fairly good with HTML and my mom's pretty good with graphics. I'm confident that something good will come out of this, even if it is just the experience.
I just have to actually start the book. Maybe I should tell my mom that there's one book and four magazines ahead of it in line.
This week's glimpse into my past involves how many of my "friends" treated me when I was younger while going through the home pains. For some reason, the people that claimed to be my friends probably did as much damage to my personality as my dad did. It's bad enough to deal with an ass at home, but it was double trouble when none of my friends seemed to understand what I was going through at the time. Rather than show support, all they offered was more criticism on the things I did. It was like this for several years until my best friend underwent some bad situations at home, making him realize what I was probably going through.
He immediately went from being a pain in my ass to someone who'd do anything to make sure that I received the respect I deserved. He sort of became my own personal bodyguard, threatening to hurt anyone who tried anything on me. If someone had something to say to me, he'd suddenly show up and the situation would change. He basically went from being an asshole to being the best friend he should always have been.
Nowadays, the only thing that keeps me from being more personable is my deep-rooted fear in people's motives. I still distrust people overall, but am more inclined to take part in a conversation, something that I really didn't do two years ago even. I've sort of become that person that everyone knows, yet doesn't know. People know my name, but other than that, they don't know much else.
And I'm perfectly fine with that.
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