April 22, 1999
What a week this has been. Ever since the events that took place at the high school in Littleton, Colorado, I've been unable to get one thought out of my mind. Why do things come down to this? I have several possible answers, but the question still lingers to the point where I just want it to stop. But it doesn't. 15 dead people because of this, 23 more injured. That's unheard of. I remember being at work when I first heard of this event and just couldn't believe that another shoot-out took place in a high school.
As I learned the details, I became even more astounded. Sawed-off shotguns. Semi-automatic rifles. The bombs. My god, bombs. They had found over 30 bombs in the high school that the suspected shooters had brought in and set-up. The two shooters who went on this rampage, dubbed "The Trenchcoat Mafia" by those around them. The third suspect. All those kids my age trying to fight through this whole ordeal. It's mind-boggling.
Then today it's announced that another bomb was found in a kitchen and that the two kids who did most of this had what's been called a war room where they built these bombs, where they stashed their guns. It's just unbelievable, and my heart goes out to each and every one of those kids and their families. Even now I'm still in semi-shock over this incident.
The reasons why this happened are pretty clear to me. These two kids who pulled this off were considered outcasts and were constantly ridiculed by their classmates. Let's face it. A kid can only take so much before he or she will finally blow. Some lose it in less dangerous manners, but it happens nevertheless. What has to be learned is that you can't just go and make fun of someone because they're different from you, have different tastes, whatever it may be. That's why I feel I'm a bit more unique. I have friends in just about every group you can think of. A person's tastes too often dictates where he or she will stand in the eyes of others, especially those who are popular.
Popular people confound me. They've achieved this high status, and rather than use it for something helpful, many of them (not all) instead use it to put others down, to gain an advantage over someone else. It's something that's too common a sight. The popular kids seem to have longer times to finish a project. They seem to get more breaks. They get away with more. Again, this isn't all popular kids. Many are quite nice. But many treat those "inferior" to them as if those people were pieces of shit, only being alive for joking pleasure. This is part of the reason why I'm not too kean on being popular. Being popular sometimes means putting others down, acting snobbish, the kind of activity that would irk kids like the two shooters.
These two kids purposely targeted jocks and minorities. The jocks were targeted because they were the ones who were the cruelest, something that I can understand. The minority thing is still not clear to me, although it could just have been that these two were racists. Whatever the reason though, we need to learn from this. We need to stop with all the atrocious behavior towards these "outcasts." The only reason they are outcasts is because the rest of us refuse to accept them. We need to learn from this, but sadly, it hasn't happened.
Even after this whole thing, I still hear the same comments coming from the popular people towards the "freaks" as they're called. If anything, the comments have been even worse, making me wonder when someone will blow a fuse in Brunswick. It's terrible to see and hear this shit going on. I can't stand it sometimes, that something like this happens and nobody learns the lesson. In the hallway, one of the more popular guys made a comment that was so awful, I'm not even going to bother repeating it here. He then said if someone wanted a piece of him to bring it. I couldn't believe him.
One more thing to touch on, several members of the media and other groups have referred to the two young shooters as "goths," which I find incorrect. They're being called goths simply because they wanted attention, they wore black trenchcoats, and were considered outcasts. I believe paraphrasing these kids as goths is incorrect and an insult to those who really are goths. I'm not saying that I understand the whole goth movement, I'm just saying that it's incorrect to stereotype the two kids as goths. As one person said, if they were goths, chances are they wouldn't have been using guns. They would've been using swords and the like.
My main point is that I don't understand why things have to go this far before we realize how we treat others is wrong. My biggest fear? It happened in Littleton, it can happen in Brunswick too. Let's learn the lesson this time.
Aside from that, this week has actually been fairly good to this point. I've been in a fairly good mood, and aside from my usual pissy modes that I'm sometimes prone too, I've been getting along beautifully with others. I'm not saying this week has been all peaches and cream; I still can't figure out how I keep getting things in my left eye. I'm saying that this week has been a lot better than last week, especially after today when I found out my math grade.
Let's see, how do I put this? Last grading period, I sucked in math for whatever reason it may be. I didn't understand what the hell we were doing half the time and I was not doing homework for some odd reason. Nevermind that half the stuff we learned involved factoring, something that I just can't ever seem to get the hang of, I just couldn't get myself straightened out.
Fast-forward to this grading period. First quiz we had, I got a 36/50, which while not great, was a steady improvement. I've done 6/7 homework assignments which has translated into 55/70 points. On the last two quizzes we've had, I've had perfect 50/50s which has helped immensely. Total those up, and you have 201/220 points which came out to around 87%, a stark improvement and good enough for second best grade in the class. Once again I've become the standard of good grades in the class and again people are now aiming to get higher scores than me.
When I figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing, I'll let you know. Until then, I think I'll keep doing the homework.
In lieu of receiving several forwarded messages over the last week, I'm going to take the time now to reiterate my policy on chain letters or any other forwarded message. I just simply not read it at all. I don't even bother opening up forwarded messages. They are immediately deleted from my account and I've recently set-up a filter that will automatically send any forwarded message straight to the trash can, no questions asked.
It makes absolutely no difference what kind of forward it is. I will not read it, bottom line. This is not meant to be an insult to anyone; I know very well I've received chain letters because someone thought something of me. I do not mean to insult them by deleting them before even actually reading them. I just find them to be a waste of time. If someone wants to show me they care, I'd much rather get an e-mail written by them to just me saying how they feel, or something else that's strictly personal. Chain letters just don't do it for me.
This partially comes up because I don't think I even told Jennifer about this, and she's been sending a couple to me lately. I would much rather see a reply to my last e-mail from her than a forwarded message. I finally e-mailed her tonight explaining this to her. I just hope I wrote in a way that doesn't sound mean or anything like that. I do love her a lot and hate having to send e-mails like that, especially when it's on something I should've told her a long while ago.
It just makes me mad too when I've written someone, am waiting for a reply, and all I'm getting is a bunch of chain letters. It drives me up a wall and everyone needs to be reminded of this. Do not bother sending me chain letters. I will not read them, I will not even open them. They are automatically filtered to the trash can on the server.
Oh and Jennifer, I'm sorry. I should've said something sooner. I'm probably worried about nothing, but I don't want her to be mad.
Everyone's been complaining about the weather the last couple of weeks. Non-stop complaining too. People don't seem to give two shits that the rain is actually needed right now and that we just have to deal with it. It's not like it's been terribly cold or anything. It was 76° today and for the most part sunny. Even when it does rain, it's still warm. We've had thunderstorms lately too. People need to stop bitching. Most of you are only upset because you can't go out without getting wet or anything. Not like anyone does much outside anymore anyway.
All I've heard is complaining though. It's either too cold or too wet. Well, let's see. It's April, the normal temperature in April is right around 60° (where we've been for the most part), and it's usually wet. Let's stop bitching and start having a little fun with this weather. In a little while many are going to be complaining when it suddenly gets very warm, muggy, and dry. It'll be the same people too who do the complaining then like they are now.
Spoiled brats. You just can never satisfy anyone anymore.
One of the cats seems to think that my room is a personal bathroom. It's one thing to occasionally find a mess underneath my bed or on my floor (usually from a cat throwing up), but it's a totally different story when I find four messes in my room. Two throw-up messes and two bathroom messes of the solid kind. It seems everytime I finally get my room to be smelling nice and be clean, one of the cats (probably Vamp) goes in and takes care of business.
What's even more aggravating is the fact that because my door is a bit messed up, it won't stay shut and the cats can just push it open. My blankets are also receiving abuse. There always seems to be a small layer of fur in some areas where a cat has laid. Compounding this problem is my allergy to cats. It's not major, but it's enough to cause problems for me.
And everyone wonders why I'm such a smartass sometimes.
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