May 21, 1999
I didn't even realize that it had been ten days since I last found time to write an entry. Not that I exactly have any time right now to write, but I'm still doing so anyway because, well, I'm a bit loopy in the head. I've never been this busy in my life before. I'm so far behind in my e-mail that it's not even funny at all. I have about seven or eight messages to reply to or check into that I probably won't get to until sometime next week simply because I'm going to be busy all weekend as well. This web site will continue to suffer as a consequence too.
What has made things so busy? Well, I'm almost finished with school, so suddenly every teacher in the building has decided that now would be the perfect time to get a ton of work out of the way. Naturally, I've decided now would be a good time to make sure all work is turned in so that I keep my grades high enough to where I don't have to take any exams just in case. I'm already exempt, but if I need to pass an exam to pass a class, I'll have to actually show up on Wednesday and Thursday, and I'm not too keen on that one right now.
Part of the work given was a rather large, 200 point report that I managed to finish the night before it was due. I typed up about 21 pages worth of information on various things in about seven hours of time, finishing last Tuesday night/Wednesday morning at around 2. Of course I woke up late Wednesday, which meant a lot of rushing just so that I'd be able to get it in. I did get it in though, so that's all cool. However, I still have a book to read, a school-sponsored show to participate in tomorrow, and a movie to watch and review on Sunday. Can you say that my weekend is completely shot?
In detail, I work 9am until 3pm tomorrow. I will go straight to the mall to find some khaki pants and a khaki shirt for the show I'm part of. I plan to be there around 5 or 5:30, and the show begins at 7 and runs until around 9 or 9:30pm. I will probably get home before midnight, but after 11pm since there's going to be clean-up afterwards and I want all 50 points that this is worth towards my option points (which I need 100 of). Sunday I will then go rent a movie related to world literature (ha!), watch it, then write up a critique of it for the other 50 option points ensuring myself of no lower than a B in that class, which is worth 4 points since it's an honors class.
Then I'll have to finish reading the book Cry the Beloved Country for Monday, since there's a test on that. I'll also have to make sure to do my math homework since if it's collected, that will raise my grade to an 83%, which is a low B, ensuring that I don't have to take any exams at all. Finally on Tuesday we have our senior breakfast, many of us say our last goodbyes, pictures are taken, tears are shed, and most of us will never go back to that high school again except for the occasional visit, which will be made rare once all those damn security measures are implemented next year thanks to all the gun-happy motherfuckers who think it's funny to even joke about shooting someone. Um, anyway, more on that one at a later time.
No weekend at all for me this weekend. Now that I think about it, nothing's really changed.
If any of you are wondering, I'm going to make a half-hearted attempt at writing entries for the previous seven days. It's not something I like to really do, but I think that I had some interesting things to talk about and I just don't feel right with only four entries for May, and there's only nine or ten days left this month. A lot did happen, serious and funny, but there was a lot of thinking on my situation with everyone during that span that I think a lot of people might be interested in knowing all about. Then again, I don't really know what people want out of this site since no one is really fond of giving me any feedback aside from a few people.
As for this web site as a whole, I've decided to kill off both "History of Dave's World" and "Dave's Pop Culture Extravaganza" since neither was going anywhere at all for me. I'm just not much of a person who can sit there and update things like that too often. I've tried and failed several times to host an entertainment site, but to no avail at all. I just can't quite get it going enough or find enough enthusiasm for what I'm trying to do. As for writing a history on this site, it just wasn't going to work from the start. I never did keep copies of the original files, therefore making it nearly impossible to account for all the shit that happened to make this looney bin possible.
However, we did buy Adobe Photoshop recently, so we now have a really good graphics editor for me to play around with, hopefully resulting in those graphics I onced talked about having on this site. I would like to set up an image map as well to stick in my frames setup, allowing me to stick the frame up top without a border possibly so that I might have some more flexibility with how it looks. I'll still have the text links at the bottom, in case someone doesn't want to use frames, which is understandable. Just keep in mind that until I fix the links in The Escape Pod, clicking on a link in there will result in that site showing up in the frame, making things very confusing. So try and avoid that part of the site until I actually fix the coding in there.
On the whole, I'm pretty happy that I got the frames to work. I still have no idea what the hell I did, but it worked whatever it was. Now the counter's screwed up though. It was showing 1135 last time I saw, but before that it had been up at around 1160. I don't really know what happened, but I'm not going to mess with just in case I happen to be a nutcase, which is something I've been called a lot lately.
The new logo for this site should be implemented as soon as my mother finishes working on it. If any of you care, there is a new picture of me that's found its way onto her site, so use the link on my home page or in my link section and see if you can find it, since my dumbass can't remember where it was. It does portray me working in the pharmacy though. It was the day that she snuck in with a camera and popped a picture of me working, scaring the hell out of me and sending pills flying. She thinks it's funny though. Anyway, keep an eye out.
I've just about had it with all these asshole kids pulling copycat hoaxes in light of the Columbine shooting. Latest incident in this area was the apprehension of a student in Strongsville who was going to do something, but I forget if it involved a hit list or a bomb. I'm pretty sure he had a hit list though. In Medina a kid pulled a prank by putting a list of students he wanted to "kill" in the bathroom. Both of them are now sitting in jail for their stupid actions. This is following the shooting at an Atlanta area high school where the police managed to apprehend the sophomore student before he could kill himself after injuring around six fellow students.
I'm really starting to get pissed off at the immaturity of the kids pulling the pranks as well as the people who are copycatting everything. How fucking dumb do you have to be? I had this talk with Crystal and she feels the same way that I do. I cannot believe what these kids are doing, mostly for attention. It makes me wonder just how stable my generation really is after all. I figured that we were finally starting to show some signs of maturity, then bam! The floodgates open and all these kids start taking their anger out.
I'm sorry, but bullying and picking on people has been a part of high school life for a long time. Clique divisions have a lot less to do with things than the news sources and adults would have us think. I'll make it simple. If you're an outcast nowadays, about 60% of the time it's because one chooses to be an outcast, not because he or she has been thrust into that role. And let's get off of the whole goth shit too. Just because someone is a goth doesn't mean that he or she is going to snap. Being a goth has more to do with dress and make-up than whether or not you have friends or not. Yet all the magazines and newspapers say that the two Columbine shooters were goth because they wore trenchcoats and that they had anger towards jocks. Let's get off of that shit! I know people who dress in black. They are not bad people. In fact, most of them are extremely nice and choose to dress and act the way they do because it's their choice. Not because they've been rejected.
I myself haven't been bullied since I was in middle school, and even then it was my "friends" most of the time who thought it was funny. That is until I stopped letting it get to me. Today I'm somewhat of a loner, but that doesn't mean that I'm now going to start dressing in black and start looking like I'm going to murder someone. I'm not a victim of anything anymore, but it's because I chose not to let words get to me. By being nice and by showing that I took take shit, people began to realize that you couldn't get to me, which took the fun out of it. That's partially why I can't believe that these events have to do with being victims of jocks.
I know several "jocks" who wouldn't ever do a thing like that and who have actually been cool with everyone one else. EVERYONE. No exceptions at all. Just because someone dresses a certain way or acts a certain doesn't mean that there's a shooting spree waiting to happen. No, the children who've done this were crying out for attention, more so from their parents than anyone else. How the hell do you not know that you're kid and his friend have an arsenal in your garage? How the fuck can you not know that? The parents say that they saw nothing wrong, but were they really looking? Chances are no. Especially in the Columbine case. How can you not know that 30 bombs are sitting in your garage? How the hell do you not go into your garage and find that shit? It just bugs me.
To me, it's not a clique thing as most people say it is. To me, it's a lack of love and attention from parents in a world where both parents either work or don't live together. It's a tough world to live in, what with the fast pace society's on now. Parents no longer have time to sit with their kids and ask how things went. No, it's more or less "Here's $5, go get something to eat later and I'll see you next week." It's ridiculous. Let's get up off our asses and show a little love for once before things really go haywire. Oh, and let's stop bitching about gun control. There's a real simple way to solve this problem: dissolve the National Rifle Association and hang Charleton Heston for being president. Stupid asses complained about having to tone down their show in Denver.
I just don't understand anymore.
I picked up my cap and gown Wednesday for graduation. Like everyone else, the cap didn't fit, but the gown did. Unlike everyone else, I like the tassles with the medallion that says "1999," and in any case, who the fuck cares? You're about to graduate, and you're whining about your tassle? Let's grow up a bit people. I've just grown so sick of people in the last couple weeks, mostly because everyone's done nothing but bitch about having to do work lately. I guess I can see where students are coming from, but I can definitely see where teachers are coming from. I'm just sick of people though.
Aside from the complaining about every damn thing, I'm tired of people digging themselves a hole, then trying to bury someone else why they try and get out of their mess. I'm tired of people telling me one thing, but meaning something else. I'm tired of someone saying something to me one day, then saying something contradictory the next. I'm tired of people complaining about rules, then complaining about being punished when caught breaking those rules. In short, I'm sick and tired of people, which is partially why I've become withdrawn from most people this last week. I just have not talked to really anyone over the last week in school, partly because I'm tired of listening to the complaining, but also as an experiment.
I want to see just how many people really want me to be at graduation parties, who really want to keep touch with me, who really want what they say they want out of me. So far, everything's turned out as I thought. No one's come up to me and talked about it being almost over, except at work. No one's said shit to me about graduation parties at school and no one's even made an attempt at talking with me. In fact, the only party I was wanted at was Crystal's birthday party, but even then I got fucked over. She apparently had it last night, but didn't intend on telling me except when I brought it up. You see, I wanted to know what day to ask off. Took care of that nicely. I really didn't say anything to her the rest of the night. I was a bit mad at her.
Overall though I'm just not having anything at all to do with anyone in person. Online is a different story. I haven't had much of a chance to get online in the last two weeks, which is why I haven't been heard from in ten days by some. Offline, I'm just tired of people in general. My feeling that motives can't be trusted has been reaffirmed time and time again, and the constant complaining has gotten me to the point where I want to turn around and smack someone.
Now I'm complaining, so I'm going to go and beat my head into a wall until I pass out. Maybe my mom will find me and put me to bed. I'm kidding on that last one. Really, I am. I'll find out who really wants to keep in touch this week. That's when I'll find who my real friends are.
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