MY LIFE - JUNE 1999

Friday, June 25, 1999

What a sad day today. Earlier today, while I was still asleep, my mom and my sister Teresa took our two ailing cats to the vet and had them put to sleep, putting them out of their misery. Skunky, Teresa's cat, was buried in our backyard by our rosebushes while Vamp was taken by Lori and cremated. It was just a very sad day overall for everyone involved, including me, and one that will always be remembered as the last day for two of our cats, one of them very beloved.

Last night it occurred to me that while I was looking at Skunky, it would possibly be the last time I ever saw him alive. He was lying on our driveway, unaware that the next morning, he would be dead, ending his pain. It was a very sad moment and I myself nearly let a tear loose as I looked at him. It was just terribly sad for me. He was one of my favorite cats, and a favorite of just about everyone else in the house as well. He was not very intelligent, much of that due to a serious illness a few years back, but he was a loving cat, always glad to get a little attention.

He was a cat that was content even with his bad health and deteriorating status. Three seizures in a span of three weeks made us all realize that he wasn't in very good shape at all. My worry was that he could very well die from one of those seizures, which is not how he deserved to go out. Even as I looked at him and felt saddened, I knew that we were doing what was best for him. It was no fair for him to have to live with those seizures and with the invariable pain that came with them. I didn't want him to go, but it was an absolute in the near future.

Both cats were really nice. Vamp was never shy about jumping on top of you and giving you something to remember her by, mostly her butt in your face as she slept. Skunky always would wait for my sister to come home from school by lying in her bed. He was also good at finding his way under your feet no matter how careful you were. His signs of deterioration were more obvious than Vamp's, but her's were still apparent. Already a reclusive cat, she had become even more so reclusive and hard to find. Yet you knew she was in the room because you could hear her wheezing.

Both cats were good cats. Both deserved better lives. Now, all we have is memories of the two and pictures. Rest in peace.

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The only other thing I feel like mentioning is how insensitive my dad was to my sister after she went through with putting her cat to sleep. He apparently has never been attached to anything sentimentally as he just didn't give a shit that she was upset. To him, cats are worthless, therefore mourning over one is silly. However, he missed the whole point of being a father. He refused to console her and was insensitive towards us all in this. I was finally forced to snap at him about him having a daughter very upset over the events and that he should be helping her through this, not ignoring her. I wanted to backhand him so bad, but my words were enough.

He didn't like me yelling at him, I know this. I also knew that he didn't know how to react, which is how I got away with saying what I said to him. My basic message was that he needed to be there for his daughter, not ignoring her simply because he didn't like cats. He didn't help bury Skunky, rather, he chose to stand inside and watch my mom and sister try and dig a hole for the deceased cat. I gave him as cold a shoulder as he had received from me yet for the rest of the day and am still mad at him, regardless of how he's comforting my sister now.

Right now, I could care less if I never saw him again. A person that insensitive, that cold, doesn't deserve to be a father. I don't think he'll ever get his act together.

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I'm going to end this right now simply because I feel like hell. My allergies are just killing me right now. I've been unable to do much of anything today simply because I was so dizzy. My apologies about the content these last two days, but it's a very sad time right now. Some of you won't understand just how much those cats meant, but I suppose that's the way of the world.

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