MY LIFE - JULY

Saturday, July 24, 1999

What a miserable day this turned out to be, especially early on. Another restless night followed by a rather bad morning and then a crisis in my coworker Crystal's life. There were some good points to this day, mostly involving me refocusing myself on my situation and situations around me. However, the day didn't start off very well and didn't look to be too promising.

I'll start off with Crystal though. She's such a nice girl, such a great friend to me that made what happened to her seem just completely unfair and undeserved. At around 12:30, she went on break and apparently went home. Nothing unusual about that since it's something she does anyway on her break. Shortly after, Steve sent me on my break and I went to the break room where I ate the last three pieces of pizza remaining. I really didn't pay attention when Crystal came back, but I probably should've. It wasn't until I was up front when I discovered that her eyes were red from crying.

She was allowed to go back into the break room to try and recover a bit and I followed her back there. It was uneasy for a few minutes as I tried to get a grasp on the situation. It soon came out, although not without some difficulty. She really didn't tell me what was wrong right off the bat since she was unable to control her emotions and I was right by her side the whole time. It finally came out that her parents and her brother had again gotten on her case, this time everything starting over some pictures. It escalated after her brother said something that has always hit a nerve with Crystal (which will not be made known here) and her parents then yelled that she could get out whenever she felt like it.

Things got pretty bad and she finally got out of there though. After a few minutes of her just trying to get her composure back, I told her of my plight at home (which will be explained a little later on) and she began to get herself back together as I took her mind off of her problems and told her of mine. We then somehow got to talking about how things always seem to fall apart at once, leaving you buried for what seems like forever. We talked about this and that and eventually got back to her situation when she could keep herself composed. After the last half-hour of my break ended, I walked with her up front where she proceeded to thank me a lot for helping her calm down.

I had her calmed down, but it didn't last. Moments after we started putting up the ad signs, her mom called and asked if Crystal was happy now. Crystal was then hung up on, leaving her again upset and she immediately went into the back. I eventually went back there and tried to calm her again, this time just letting her know that she didn't deserve what happened and that she hadn't done anything wrong, not in my eyes at least. She calmed down to the point where she just wanted to be alone, and she showed this by telling me to back out and finish the ad because Becky needed my help. She then put her arm around my side and promised me that she'd call me back if she needed me.

She would later leave work early, but made sure she returned because she was my ride home today. I do not believe that she deserved what she got and her confidence is at least up a little bit. She's calm now, but I still worry as any friend should. What I did is something that any person should do for a friend who's having a tough time. I just wish her boyfriend would do this for her so that she wouldn't get so upset. I do think she doesn't get the love she deserves and I hope that someday she'll find someone who can. It won't be me since I'm pretty attached to Jennifer right now, who's a person I care even more about than Crystal. Crystal is a friend and a coworker, Jennifer is someone I love to death and is more than a friend and hopefully even more than what she is to me right now.

I care about both, but I truly love Jennifer while I love Crystal strictly as a friend. So no confusion on this, okay? Okay.

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The situation at home has gotten stickier. We are now faced with moving and by this time next week, we will not be in this house. Where will be? Could be anywhere from Lakewood to Streetsboro, depending on how things go. We will be out of here as my mom is having all the utilities shut off next Friday and the cable's going back early next week. If my dad wants to keep living here, he'll have to have everything put in his name and pay for it himself. He will not be made aware of where we live, and even so, a restraining order can be placed on him preventing him from bothering us.

Needless to say, he wasn't pleased about this upon learning of the plan and was immediately flinging out the usual accusations, going so far as to accuse me of being inconsiderate. Don't ask me, it didn't make sense to me either. Apparently he said that if you go for help that you're weak and incapable of surviving on your own or something. He said that real people stand up for themselves and don't take the easy way out. Excuse me, but that's exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm standing up for myself and deciding that this plan is the only way out of this mess. There is no easy way out.

It just amazes me what my mom and I have been accused of. He accused her of being persuasive by advising that I only take two classes this fall to get myself acclimated. Two things. First, I had already decided that I was going to take two classes, so there was no persuasion on that count. Second, what did he think he was trying to be? By telling me I had to take at least three classes, he was trying to be forcefully persuasive. I didn't listen to what he said and am going to be taking just math and english this fall.

He's accused of a lot more things, most of which I have no desire to talk about right now. I just know that things are going to be very rough. I have to have my brakes fixed still, I have the car insurance to pay on, plus I have a variety of other things to take care of as well. It's going to be a very long week again. Just like this week.

Tribe Watch '99

Last Game
Cleveland, 1
New York, 21

Summary
That wasn't a typo. Terrible pitching combined with a slumping offense equals the worst blowout the Indians have ever face. It looks like the five players on the disabled list are having an affect on the Tribe. Jaret Wright and Steve Karsay are the pitchers the Indians miss while Will Cordero, Travis Fryman, and Sandy Alomar, Jr. are sorely missed in the lineup.

Game Notes
The Indians are 2-8 in their last ten games and have lost four straight for the second week in a row after going the entire first half without losing more than three straight....First inning woes continued as the Yankees scored four runs with two outs....Karsay and Alomar could be back with the team shortly after having simulated starts....The Yankees now lead the season series 3-2 with five more games to play, four at Jacobs Field in September....Bartolo Colon has pitched in the only two games the Indians have won in the second half. He faces Indian killer Roger Clemens tomorrow.

Record
58-38