MY LIFE - AUGUST

Tuesday, August 3, 1999

My head hurts, I'm tired, but I have a car again so everything's all right. Well, almost anyway. I'm just happy to finally have a car again after going nearly three weeks without one thanks to my brakes. Well, now they're fixed and I'm a much happier person because of it. It had finally started to be a pain in the butt for my mom to drive me to work and home all the time. It was also a pain for me because I'm only late when she drives me, simply because of the way it works out. When I drive, I'm early, when she drives, I'm late.

In any case, it was nice to also listen to my music again. My car has a CD player in it, but hers doesn't even have a tape deck, so it's a bit quiet when I drive her car. That's not the real issue though. The real issue is me getting to where I have to be, on time at that. It's tough enough as it is, but it becomes a lot more difficult when one of us loses our car for whatever reason it may be because we're all busy and have little time as it is. When one of us has to drive someone else around, it becomes a major hassle. But made it to this point, so we should be fine for the rest of the summer.

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I had a thought tonight while I was looking around online. I was reading someone's else journal (squishy for those who must know) and thought about how I don't really do much work with my site. I thought about how I don't always feel like doing anything with this page or any other page and for the first time since last winter, contemplated quitting this part of the site, if nothing else. At times, it just hasn't been in my heart to continue on with this and tonight was one of those times. I know there are people reading this page, but it's not really the main reason people seem to come to my site. Then again, I don't know why people come here.

The whole point is, for a little while I thought about possibly shutting down this entire site again, but that passed quickly. Instead, I thought about maybe not writing in this *journal* anymore. It just hasn't always been in me lately, and I know it will pass, but it makes writing difficult when you don't really feel like doing so. I just haven't felt very comfortable with what I've been writing, and that's something that doesn't happen very often. I'm just not prone to writer's block like some people can be, so when it does happen, I'm really stuck.

It doesn't help when virtually no one writes in to me to tell me what they think of this site or to comment on something they read. One thing I've seen in several sites similar to mine is the feedback they get. These people constantly talk about the e-mail and comments they received on something they wrote, but what do I get? Just about nothing, that's what. People just don't seem to be inclined to write to me about what they read. Either I'm not very interesting or I leave people speechless, and it seems to be the former more than the latter.

I'm not the funniest when it comes to telling things online. I'm not going to present the best stories and I'm definitely not going to have a very interesting life to talk about. I have more hard times than good times and that doesn't make for very good reading. I don't create very good fiction either, so I can't always exaggerate things very well. I'm just one of those people who's funnier in person than when online. Maybe I'm more interesting in person as well. I don't really know. No one tells me these things.

Right now, I'm still going to maintain all aspects of this site. There are no plans at this point to shut anything down. In a couple days, maybe I'll feel different about things. We'll just have to see.

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I got to close tonight. I was in absolute shock when Shoe came in and actually listened to me. Actually, everyone's listened to me at this point at this time and seems to realize that I am a supervisor now. That could change at any point in time, but it's probably due to the fact that I actually work myself. I'm not like a certain co-worker who tells you to do something, then is slacking off half the time. I guess there's a little respect for me at work.

It was still amazing though. I told Shoe to do something and he did it. Didn't complain, didn't try to be a smart-ass about things, just did what I asked him to do. It made the night a whole lot smoother, needless to say, since I didn't have to sit there and tell people to do things three times. One time and it was done. Same with Monday when I was in charge, although that was a bit trickier. I didn't have a clue as to what needed to be done yesterday, but today I had a pretty good idea of what to do.

I get to do it again Thursday and Friday night. Won't Mike be jealous when he finds out people will listen to me the first time, but not to him. I won't speculate now why that is, but I'm sure I have an idea why. I think I'll e-mail him now and laugh at him.

Tribe Watch '99

Last Game
Cleveland, 5
Boston, 4

Summary
The Indians won their second straight in Boston, again in the ninth inning off of closer Tim Wakefield when Omar Vizquel singled in the go-ahead run. The Indians took an early 1-0 lead off of Pedro Martinez on Jim Thome's home run to center field, but Jaret Wright struggled with his control and gave the lead back to Boston, with a little help from the twilight sky. Boston took a 3-1 lead when Richie Sexson lost a ball in the lights that fell in for a double. Wright pitched 4 2/3 innings, walking six and giving up three runs. Boston would add another run, then the Indians got one back when Thome struck again off of Wakefield in the eighth. With a runner on and two down, Thome hit a monster home run to left over the green monster, tying the game. Then in the ninth, Vizquel singled in the winning run and Mike Jackson closed it out.

Game Notes
The Indians have won two straight against Boston after losing four games in a row....Thome has hit three home runs in two games, none of them to right field....Lofton missed his sixth game in a row with a pulled hamstring while Dwight Gooden was placed on the DL with a sore shoulder....The Indians remain the best team in baseball by percentage points over Houston and New York with both teams losing....Bartolo Colon goes for the Tribe tomorrow afternoon.

Record
65-41