VIRUS WARNING

This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING
 If you see a message on the boards with a subject line
 of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading
 it. This is the most dangerous virus yet. It will
 re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
 scramble any disks that are even close to your computer
 (20' range at 72 Fahrenheit). It will recalibrate your
 refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
 melts and milk curdles . It will demagnetise the strips
 on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access
 code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use
 subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to
 play. It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new
 phone number. It will program your phone AutoDial to
 call only your mother's number. It will mix antifreeze
 into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and
 leave its' dirty socks on the coffee table when there's
 company coming over. It will hide your car keys when
 you are late for work and interfere with your car radio
 so that you hear 1940's hits and static while stuck in
 traffic. "Badtimes" will make you fall in love with a
 with someone who is like your Ex. It will give you
 nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your
 shampoo with Vosene and your Vosene with Rogaine, all
 while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your
 back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
 card.

 It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if
 she is dead, such is the power of "Badtimes", and it
 reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we
 hold most dear. It will rewrite your back-up files,
 changing all your active verbs to passive tense and
 incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly
 change the interpretation of key sentences. "Badtimes"
 will give you Dutch elm disease. It will leave the
 toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in
 dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantonly
 remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
 pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is
 insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to
 behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

 These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
 PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW


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