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Well here I am again, although this may very well incoherent as I am extremely sick at the moment. I normally don't get this sick. That is to say, while I get sick often, it is rare that I would get this bad. I have spent the passed day and a half sleeping, waking only briefly to go to the bathroom, which is an unpleasant experience at this point in time, and to eat small amounts of food. I am relatively irritated about this whole thing because it is costing me work time and school time. This is a particularly bad time for it all to happen seeing as though Valentine's day is coming up as well as my black belt testing, which is going to cost me 150 clams. So I need to be working instead of sleeping. Of course if I don't sleep then it will prolong my abscence from work so it is really just a vicous cycle.
Other than me being on my death bed, things are going well for me. I have started doubting myself just a bit, probably in response to my percieved failure at Japanese. I have the opportunity for some help getting some writing published and everytime I sit to try and do it, I start feeling rather hopeless and dejected. I realize how much bullshit that is and I am trying very hard to overcome these negative feelings. I honestly don't know where they are coming from...my life is really going well right now. Better certainly than my poor cousin's whose older sister was just arrested yesterday. My uncle got the call that Liea was in jail, but he had to take his two year old into the hospital with its 102 degree temerature first and then after bailing her out had to go be with Matt for his Chemo treatments. So no matter what shit is going on in my life, it is worlds better than the shit they have to put up with. And really, things are going well for me. I really don't have anything to worry about. I think that I am trying to produce chaos from happiness again. Well this time I am not buying it.
ANyway, I now have to say how amazing it is that you people actually read my feckless whining time and time again, especially now when things are going well and I still feel in the bitching mood. Anyway, I am going to go lay down again now and think about all of the blessings in my life and why I shouldn't feel bad.
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