Well friends it is that time of year again. Time when all the ghosts, goblins, witches and all the various and sundry other goulies come out to scare the bejeezus out of the Religious Right. Yes, Halloween is right around the corner and it is time to dust of the old costumes or spend an exorbinate amount of time and money coming up with new ones. It is time again to buy a shitload of candy early and eat it yourself only to have to by more the day before when all that's left is generic crap. Truth be told if you do that a few years in a rowyou won't haave to go back for that second supply 'cuase no kids are coming to your house, loser. It is the season for haunted houses and spooky stories, for horror movie marathons and retarded seances that contact your downstairs neighbor while you are trying to get into the mood. I tell you Halloween is just as fun as it has always been.
I haven't heard any particular complaints about Halloween this year from the extreme right end of the food chain but I am sure that Pat Robertson is gearing up for anti Halloween specials to snadwich in between 'satanic Dungeons and Dragons' feature and 'the Let's put all the gay people on an island' segment of the 700 Club. You know 'All Hallows Eve,' while holding a prominent place amongst the pagan religions, was originally a Catholic holiday. The Night before all saints day if I remember correctly. Now I am no expert on the history of the day but there were no satanic or any other 'ic' implications involved. Of course there was the whole evil spirit thing but hey you just wore a costume and they go away. I also find it amusing that the Religious Right seem to think that anyone who isn't Christian automatically worships the devil. I just don't get that. No where in the Wickan literature will you find any statement of love for, or indeed belief in, Satan. So all this hoopla over devil worship is completely ridiculous and indicative of the mindless crap being churned out at Hatemonger Central, the Christian Coalition's camp which is located, by the way, in I'll Kill You If You're Different, FA.
I think the reason that religious zealots get pissed of at Halloween is becasue a lot of people who are really into Halloween like it more than Christmas. Now here's the thing, I should probably at some point clairafy that I am in fact Christian although I don't subscribe to the politics and hate that the republicans in this country subscribe to. Also I guess that isn't entirely fair to lump all republicans in with the Religious Right, but at the same time I get to be lumped in with adulterers based on my political affilation so just deal with it okay? So here it is, the way my mom tells it, the problem with Halloween is the reasons for it(she thinks it is strictly a pagan holiday) and that the form it takes doesn't matter anymore. Okay fine, so why should Christmas be a big deal anymore then? The only reason anyone likes it too much is because they get a bunch of free stuff. Well Halloween has that too. Free candy for any adult who has the balls to Trick or Treat still. Frankly I think adults should get more candy when they Trick or Treat just because they aren't being maturity nazis. And Halloween does Christmas one better in that you get to wear whatever goofy shit you want to and people will actually think you are cool. you try that shit at Christmas and you'll be locked up or at the very least beaten by rednecks(with 700 Club stickers on their gunracks next to the Dittos Rush! sticker). See Christmas used to be about the birth of Christ and actually meant something in that context at one time but it is such a secular holiday nowadays I am surprised that more jews don't celebrate it. So I like Halloween. There is less posing and pretentiousness going on.
I think the point is that holidays are no longer celebrated for any particular reason but tradition any more so evening if Halloween was once based on a vigin sacrifice and bloodletting with a breakfast buffett then it is still cool to celebrate it now. This Halloween whenI dress up as the guy from Scream it isn't because I want to worship satan but just that I secretly want to kill a lot of people. Seriously, Pat Robertson and his cohorts should just be quiet about Halloween and focus on more important matters like getting those women back into the the kitchen.
Hey if I have pissed you off and you want to call me a communist or if you want to profess your undying love and devotion for me complete with wanting to bear my children or even somewhere in between, you can write to me at the below address.
© 1997 primus3@juno.com
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