Out and About

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My Second Outing   My next venture out into the real world was indeed a memorable one for me. I likened it to man's first landing on the moon, 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind'. My previous outing pales compared to this.   I had planned my next adventure on my next rostered day off work. This time I was determined to do a bit of shopping and pay some bills at the bank. This would also mean that I would be among people in a public place. I remember the good advice of the article I had read, about dressing down when out, and to try to blend in as much as possible. I was very tempted to wear my pleated mini but I knew that would be the surest way to get attention and being read. So, I decided to wear my dark pink suit with a knee length fitted skirt, a beige blouse, garter and charcoal stockings and low heel shoes. I felt that this would be a good compromise for the time of day that I'll be out, perhaps passing as an office worker going about her daily routine.   To cut down on the amount of time that I would be out, I decided to venture out after lunch and get home by around 3pm. This would also be good timing as the neighbours would already be out somewhere, leaving the immediately vicinity of my home rather quiet. I spent the morning getting myself ready. By the time I had shaved, put on all my makeup, and got dressed up, it was 11.30am. I could feel the anticipation mounting while having lunch, as I went through the plan in my head.   The time finally came to leave the house. A quick check around the front of the house, and I was out the front door, and into my car. I checked my hair and makeup one last time in the rear view mirror, and I was off to the shopping center. I decided to park the car close to the bank as it would be easier to get to, instead of having to walk right through the shopping center to get there. As I approached the bank, I suddenly realised that I was very tall for an asian girl (boy was I glad I did not have my high heels on). I suddenly felt a panic attack, and heard myself ask why I was doing this. I was almost on the verge of doing a u-turn and just going home, when I realised that I was right smack in the middle of the mall, with people everywhere. As I kept walking, I noticed that a lot of guys were looking at me. I wondered if I was being read, but I thought it was probably my nerves playing up.   There was a very long queue at the bank, and I waited in line for close to 10 mins before being served. The elderly lady ahead of me kept wanting to talk to me, but all I could do was smile and nod. When it was finally my turn, I presented the teller with my bill, and the moneys. Unexpectedly, she asked me if I wanted to pay just a portion or all of it. I felt like a stunned mullet, as I tried to say something, until I finally blurted out, 'yes, all of it'. From the expression on her face, I gathered that she did not realise I was transgendered, and I caught her totally by surprise. But she was quick to regain her composure, and very professionally finished processing my transaction and wished me a 'good day' (I had images of all the sirens would go off in the bank and being escorted out of the bank by some security officer).   As I made my way back to the car, it then struck me that it was perfectly normal as girls to be looked at by guys. I've been doing it unconsciously all my life. Now I know what it feels like to be the object of desire. It certainly takes a bit of getting used to, to be looked. I thought I was being read for sure by those men.   I decided to continue my day out with a short visit to the shopping center. As I walked from shop to shop, I realised how my mind set had changed from the perspective of a guy to that of a girl's and it felt very liberating and invigorating. There are just certain social rules or etiquttes that as individuals we are all expected to conform to in public. For instance, having doors opened for me, being given first go at the cash register, etc. were experiences that caught me by surprise. I also noticed that in public, girls tend to hold eye contact and smile even at strangers, while guys do not do that. I felt a tremendous sense of freedom to be totally me, as I could go about looking at the girl things I have always wanted to shop for like little pieces of jewellery, trying on shades of lipstick or foundation, looking a girl shoes, clothes, etc. I found the shop keepers at the shopping center very friendly and were very willing to help and serve me (unlike the scenario I thought would happen being chased out of a store and yelled at in public). Not once did I feel I was not welcomed.   Having exceeded all my expectations for the day, I drove home delighted with what I have achieved, and looking forward to my next adventure.