There are certain things I believe in and I want you to understand them

• I believe in sleeping late and doing what you want.
  
• I believe in not taking shit off anyone if you can get away with it.
  
• I believe in the importance of play.
  
• I believe that Elvis was the second gunman.
  
• I believe in nudism as a way of life.
  
• I believe that Ali could have beat Tyson with one hand tied behind his back and, he wouldn't have to cheat or chew on him to do it.
  
• I believe in hard core porn, Irish Whiskey, big fat cigars, slim women, big tits, and social responsibility.
  
• I believe that rock and roll CAN save you and that Frank Zappa should be canonized.
  
• I believe in Chivalrous Chauvinism. In other words, if you do the same job as me you should get paid the same. But I'm damn well going to hold the doors open and pull out you seat for the ladies. I like placing you on a pedestal. Better to look up your dress.
  
• And I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet, messy dumps in the morning, that last three days.
  Any Questions?