John Howard has done alot for the industry of cotton-harvesting; he has established a Gestapo-like structure to govern over the highly valuable commodities that are cotton buds. You see evidence of handiwork everywhere, from fashionable winter pants to those cotton bud ear-wax remover thingys ( you know, the ones you’re not really supposed to stick in your ears), but there is one rival to cotton that is threatening to destroy Johnny’s excellent record with cotton pullovers and other assorted jumpers: Wool. Yes, that’s right. That BASTARD Wool. Wool is a much warmer fabric, which gives alot of excuses for farmers to have sheep in bed with them on those cold, lonely winter nights. Wool is also fire resistant, so it’s the perfect fabric for someone that likes intentionally setting themself on fire alot*. Despite all of this, however, John Howard’s triumphs with his friend “King Kotton”TM** are an inspiration to us all.
*- Just ask my father
**- King Kotton- trademark of Super-Lame Mega Comics, Inc....An
all-Armenian company.
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