Editorials & Academic Essays

"Half the fun of learning is failing!"

Here are some totally irrelevant viewpoints on issues in the world today. Articles written to much/some acclaim for Macquarie University's Passing Show magazine. Essays composed under exam conditions at high school that garnered the scorn of my teachers - if you're really desperate for a piece of work to hand in for assessments etc., then this is the place for you!!!


Passing Show Articles

He Longs For A Bat new for November 27th
A wistful inclusion in the final 'Summer' issue for 2002. I recall the poetry of trouncing, humiliating defeats upon family members in Australia's game, backyard cricket.

Give Them Enough Rope And They'll Swing new for November 27th
'Cheeky' article from September's 'Sex Issue' which saw me liasing online with middle-aged perverts.

To Easter With Love new for November 27th
Appeared in Issue #2, Volume 31, and delved into the commercialism of the holiday. Melting Easter Bunnies crucified Jesus in the Middle Eastern heat, and I watched monster trucks and became a martyr for fat people everywhere. It will make some sense if you read it.

Observations of Enrolment new for November 27th
The unedited version of a sidebar piece appearing next to an interview with Macquarie's Registrar and Vice-Principal, Brian Spencer. It's not as serious as the article, but you knew that already.

Small Man On Campus new for November 27th
This article helped kick off Volume 31 of the magazine, and was well-receieved by everyone I annoyingly forced it upon. It's true: persistence counts for something.

Fear of Failure - Preparing a Career Contingency Plan
An article of mine that first appeared in Macquarie University's Passing Show magazine in November 2001. It's a scything, pithy look at what to do when your dreams are inevitably quashed by reality's cruel, burdensome fists. And it's very positive.

Countdown To The Greatest Show On Earth
Originally published in Passing Show magazine in the lead-up to 2000's Olympic Games in Sydney. Moved here so people could find it more readily (Lord knows why they're looking in the first place).

Atrocious High-School Essays

Political Violence In Ancient RomeNEW!
An in-depth analysis of the use of violence in Roman politics. Also features WWF and Transformers.
Don't worry, it'll make sense once you read it.

Periclean Athens
This essay examines the appropriateness of the term 'Periclean Athens', plus the effect of Pericles' binge drinking and coke abuse on his position as strategos and exactly how the Athenian building program was initiated.

The Motives of The Gracchi
The latest in the series of rambling essays that make all that boring, irrelvant Ancient History fun again!! This particular piece documents the motives of the brothers Gracchi...plus the Ancient Greek practices of Mr. T.

The Helot Revolt & the Pan-Hellenic Congress
One of many dumb, dumb essays composed in practice exams throughout my final year of high school in 1999. Yes, despite these moronic feats of prose, I am still going to university....A sad indictment on the education system, if you ask me

Economic Growth
The perils of the financial world and the Genghis Khan/Pauly Shore Connection

Spartan Society #1
A 'historically accurate' essay, documenting the class divide in Ancient Sparta

Perception Exercise
Test your powers of observation!!

John Howard: Industry's Hero
An insight into how the man who claims to be Australian Prime Minister (personally, i think he's lying) has single-handedly reformed the textiles industry.