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Life |
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Life has been my silent burden Throughout my journey in this world. I realized this as I lay in my deathbed Just before I died… He's been the pressure all through childhood Ensuring that I made friends With other children So their parents could be pleased… That I excelled in school So my parents could be proud… That I never displayed disturbing behaviour To alert the grown-ups around me To deviant tendencies… That I always was a happy child So that they wouldn't do 'bad things' to me… Like 'send me away'. He was the stress of my adolescence Pressuring me to mingle with other teenagers So that people could call me normal Making sure that I had typical relationships With the opposite sex So that I would stay heterosexual throughout life Guaranteeing that I would take home good grades Which would give me a place in college Where I would study a career that Life had picked out for me He became the stress of college life To do exceedingly well in college To master the chosen career and Maybe even pick out a life-long mate To build some sort of family with Making love, babies and a home That everyone could be envious of Or proud of – depending on who was looking. He has remained the tension of my adult years To constantly be earning above my means To make sure that my family was provided for To send my children through school To keep my mate happy To keep my parents proud To keep my friends envious To keep myself sane through all this strife And he was with me on my deathbed Do you know what life finally said to me While sitting on my deathbed? He said, "Why did you toil so hard all your days?" So I said, "To yield to your pressure." And he replied, "But, I was only there because I was to be lived", "And enjoyed" "And remembered with fondness…" "Not pain. I never was intended to cause pain… only joy!" And I realized I spent my whole life Worrying about the pressures of life Instead of enjoying the gift of life And I was sad. |
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©August 1998 Camille Moore-Chang. All rights reserved. |
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