How I met the love of someone else's life.

How did I become a master of the Zone? You know the one... the Friend Zone. For the uninitiated, let me elaborate. You find someone you find interesting and strike up a conversation. Rather than try to push her into something too quickly, you let things simmer until you feel the water is warm enough to dive into, and, without warning, all Hades breaks loose. You had become a "friend" without even having a chance to build in another direction of any kind.

That's why I'm a great guy. I can't feel comfortable just hopping into a relationship without knowing someone, but if I get to know someone, it's too late. Without seeing the boundary, I accidentally step into the Zone.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the Zone. If I were in a relationship, I would welcome the Zone with open arms, but I'm not, so I can't. This places me in an odd situation. What do I do? Sit in silence, hiding how I feel, or express what's inside and blow a perfectly good relationship with someone I apparently care enough about to want to keep as a friend?

Now I know there are a lot of people who might be saying, "just get over it, don't be so shy from the start". My response: "My bologna has a first name...". Really. Isn't that just the same as objectifying someone? "Hi, you don't know me. Wanna share a life?" Nope... I just don't see those cards playing. Combine that with the fact that I can count my acceptances on half of one hand and I have more rejections than I would care to count. It tends to erode the ego. We're talking "The Grand Canyon was formed by the river running through it..." kind of erosion.

So what's the answer? If I knew I wouldn't be posting this, but I'm pretty sure that Clarence Thomas is clueless on this one. So why is it this is the most common display I see at parties? Perhaps I'm wrong for respecting women the way I do, since these guys are at least more successful than I am, but I prefer to think not. I mean, how much do you respect someone in a relationship based solely on following the inner maniac?

Of course, I can't speak too much from experience here. I'm 28, and have never so much as set foot into a strip club. Why get so worked up when you know nothing will become of it? It's almost like buying a car for a three year old. Sure it's cool, but they can't use it, so why waste the time and effort for nothing? Besides, we get back to my big hangup here. Respect. Do these guys go to the clubs for anything other than to satisfy a primal urge? That would be a "no". Perhaps I am just too old fashioned, or too much of a romantic, but I can't bring myself to do it in good conscience.

Well, I've put a hotplate out for you true blue turtle readers. Let's hear your input... Who knows, your advice might help others! Click the Feedback Forum banner to reply!

Part two of "Mastering the Friend Zone" can be found by clicking here.

Return to the round table.
Back to the shell.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page