April 5, 2000

Our concert was okay. Brian and I got into a big fight.

I talked to [someone, X] about [another someone, Y, giving me trouble]. X was comforting, although not particularly helpful regarding what I should do about it. But it'll all work out, I'm sure. It is making me *really* agressive though. I'll ask Kay-saa her advice..if those two concur, then I'll definitely listen to them, but..I so don't want to confront Y, even in writing.
=( Oh well.

love, CRN

April 7, 2000

Things I expect from a friend:
1. a ratio of at least one good/nice comment for every 10 criticizing comments (so I know I am indeed cared about)
2. to occasionally be invited and not have to invite myself (as inviting oneself into a group is rude)
3. a listening ear if I need to talk out my feelings with someone
4. truth about what's going on
5. understanding that I am introverted and am not the most outgoing person on Earth

Not too much, ne? The only person my own age that meets my expectations fully and I communicate heavily with is Lindsay. Of course Lindsay-chan is a good friend. Nobody my age around here really fits the listening ear criteria.

I exploded at Y today. I could feel it coming, but I thought I had it under control. Apparently, I did not. I don't think anyone at the rehearsal knew I had a temper at all--over the years I've become accustomed to restraining it. It sort of freaked them all out. Y said she didn't toally realize I felt that way, but that I should be more extroverted and such. She doesn't know about Amy. I should perhaps tell her, as I've asked her to put together a puzzle with only half the total pieces. She can only get so far before she must stop, as she lacks the vital pieces of the puzzle.

My SAT is tomorrow, so I should try to get some sleep. Ja ne!

love, Cheryl
(your Rosie-chan)

April 11, 2000

Nanikhanachi seemed in a bad mood after she came to school. She was happy driving up... I am careful with her because I remember all the mistakes I make with Kay-saa, like not reminding her to relax. So now I am very careful to point it out and remind Nanikhanachi to RELAX! (You hear? ^_~) I think maybe the testeng mess has her (and every other person on campus) totally stressed. Tomorrow's the last day. It will all be over soon.

My SAT didn't go so well, as we worked on small lecture desks not much wider than the spread of my hand. This problem made the math section more difficult than usual. I think I did okay despite it, but I wasn't my strongest.

On Friday and Thursday I'll take my Isabel Allende book to school so I can try to read a bit more of it. I wish I had more time...but I won't until after APs are over. Ick.

I'm going to read a little and then go to sleep.

love, Cheryl
(in her school form more than her internet form)
aka Rosie-chan

April 17, 2000

I am now one of the Okla Chahta princesses for the year 2000. [I didn't expect to win. I just wasn't supposed to. IMHO.]

I'm reading wired_women edited by Lynn Cherny and Elizabeth Reba Weise. So far, it's a good book, full of stories about women and technology. I feel like I should be drinking a chai latte from Coffee Bean or Starbucks as I read it, but nothing will have to do, as nobody's made it to the supermarket yet. No one wants to go out in the rain, I guess. Oh well.

Today my thoughts travelled back to this guy I knew who wanted to be a hacker. He wanted so badly to impress me, but his knowledge was even less than mine. I wonder if he ever seriously got into hacking or if he kept himself out of it. In retrospect, he was a sweetie-pie, but a bit younger than me, so I wasn't too interested. Heck, I wish I had that to do over again. I'd have been a lot more forgiving in my criticism.

There are exactly 23 pages left in my [paper] diary now. My next one will probably be just a composition book, but I know not. Maybe it will be feminine and cute, though I doubt it, since feminine and cute nowadays translates to dysfunctional. Grrr.

This pen is really icky. I need to buy another.

The sun peeks out through the clouds now. I cannot see a rainbow, but I imagine there is one out there. Maybe the day will not be so bad after all.

love, R

April 29, 2000

RN-Oh, there was a tornado-like micro-burst in the storm I mentioned last entry. It damaged Bellflower and Paramount a bit. Our house is fine.

I received a note and photo from Lindsay-chan today. She's about to graduate. Tomorrow I'll send her my Choctaw Princess photo that dad took. It would be nice to go to Sears after my crown is finished so I can have individual photos taken. I need to lose some weight fast so I can look good.

Maybe Mayfair isn't so bad after all. I can take AP Political Science and AP Micro and Macro Econ there, which I can't take at Samo. However, their athletics program there is hideous. I'm not sure which would be better--staying at Samo or going to Mayfair. Because of their period 0, I'd have to be at school at 6:15am. That's very early. I think they get out earlier, though. Either way, I'll be taking classes at either Cerritos College or SMC...

Yesterday I sent letters to Sarah M and Karin. I wonder if they'll write back. I should write to Dara, also...tomorrow. Or after APs. *sigh* Time for bed!

love, Rosie

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