One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implored the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man
gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed.
Soon afterward the man died and showed up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Peter, seeing the suitcase said, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" But the man explained to Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, Peter checked and came back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought paving bricks?!?"
They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic. After a few weeks of study in the Catholic tenets, the following Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said, "You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic." And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying, "You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish."
The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families."
The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"
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