Warning Signs:
Your Cat Is Toooo Fat
14. Cat door retrofitted with garage door opener.
13. Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
12. Always lands on her spleen.
11. Fewer calls to the fire department,
but a sudden upsurge in
broken branches.
10. Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
9. No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
8. Catfood dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough.
7. Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with
mint green polyester pants suit.
6. It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
5. "Steals breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously.
4. Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
3. He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
2. Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
......and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Overweight!
1. Has more chins than lives.
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