Like Blonde Jokes?
More Blonde Jokes Than You'll Ever Need!
Rated PG
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair another color?
Artificial intelligence
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you're supposed to wash vegetables
Why didn't the blonde want the window seat on the plane?
She'd just gotten her hair done and didn't want it to blow around.
Why do blondes wear their hair up a lot?
So they can catch lots of stuff that goes over their heads!
What did the blonde say to the physicist?
"Nuclear fission? What do you use for bait?"
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
So you can park in HANDICAPPED spaces
What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievemant?
An IN-body experience!
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight through her ear!
Why shouldn't blondes be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them!
How can you tell a blonde has been using the computer?
By the white-out all over the screen
How can you tell a second blonde used the computer next?There's writing on the white-out!
Why didn't the blonde like her new computer?
She couldn't get FOX5 or MTV.
Why don't blondes make Jello?
They can't figure out how to get 2 cups of water into that little box!
Why don't blondes eat pickles?
They can't get their heads into the jar.
What's the mating call of the blonde?
I"m SOOOO drunk!
What's the mating call of the ugly blonde?
*screaming* "I said, 'I'm so drunk!'"
What's the brunette's mating call?
All the blondes have left!
How did the blonde die while ice fishing?
She got run over by a Zamboni!
Why do blondes like BMWs?
Because they can spell that make!
Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
Why do blondes put TGIF on their t-shirts?
Tits Go In Front
What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
An interpreter
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block
How do you change a blonde's mind?
(1)You don't. She doesn't have one!
How do you change a blonde's mind?
(2)Blow in her ear
How do you change a blonde's mind?
(3)Buy her another beer
What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
They kiss them and send them to work!
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"
What is it called when one blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
Data transfer
Why do blondes have more fun?
Because it's really easy to amuse them
How many blondes does it take to change a lighbulb?
(1)"What's a lightbulb?"
How many blondes does it take to change a lighbulb?
(2)One. She holds up the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many blondes does it take to change a lighbulb?
(3)Two. One to call Daddy and one to get the Diet Pepsi.
What's a blonde's favorite "wine"?
Daaaaady, I need more moneeeeey!
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What do you call ten blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel
What do you call fifteen blondes in a circle?
A dope ring
Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back?
Why do blondes take the pill?
To see what day of the week it is
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.
Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
She had a blonde boyfriend!
What happens if a blonde gets Alzheimer's?
Her IQ goes up!
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
What does a beer bottle and a blonde have in common?
Both empty from the neck up
How did the blonde drown?
Somebody dropped a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Two. One to mix the dough and one to peel the M&Ms
What's the blonde cheer?
I'm blonde! I'm blonde! B-L-O-U? uh...I'm blonde! Yeah!
What do you get if you offer the blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change
Why did the blonde change her baby's diaper only once a month?
The box said, "Good up to 20 lbs."
How does a blonde try to kill a bird?
By throwing it over a cliff
How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
By drowning it
Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said, "From 2 to 4 years."
How can you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write "Please turn this over" on both sides of a page.
How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
Why do so many blondes die in their homes?
They can't remember the number for 911.
What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes
Why don't blondes breast feed?
Because they burn their nipples when sterilizing
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She would only have sex with men!
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot
What do you call a fly buzzing into a blonde's ear?
Space Invader
What's a blonde's favorite rock group?
Air Supply
What do you see when you look deeply into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head
Why do blondes drive VWs or BMWs?
They can't spell Porsche or Lambourghini!
Why did the blonde laugh on Monday morning?
She finally understood the joke her boyfriend told her Friday night!
What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
What's burnt black and hangs from the ceiling?
A blonde electrician
Why do blondes have see-through lunch boxes?
So that on the train, they'll know if they're going to work or coming home.
How many blondes does it take to play Hide-and-Seek?
Just one
What do you call the skeleton of the blonde found in the closet?
Last year's Hide-and Seek champion
What do you call a smart blonde?
(1)A golden retriever
What do you call a smart blonde?
(2)A sign that you're REALLY drunk
What do you call a smart blonde?
(3)An indication you have a really bad hang-over
Why are blondes hurt by other peoples' words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries!
How can you tell the blonde was making chocolate chip cookies?
By the M&M shells all over the floor
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M&Ms to alphabetize.
What job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
Proofreader
Why did they fire the blonde proofreader at the M&M factory?
For throwing out all the Ws.
What's the blonde speech impediment syndrome?
They can't say the word NO.
What do you call the blonde on campus?
A visitor
Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
So she wouldn't get "hearing aids."
Why did the blonde take her typewriter to a doctor?
Because it missed a period
What's a blonde's favorite place in a gas station?
The air pump
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
Check her ear with a tire pressure gauge.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her first driver's license?
Because she got an F in sex
Why did the blonde cross the road?
I don't know and neither did she.
What happened when the blonde shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
What happened to the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
What happened to the suicidal blonde?
She dyed by her own hand.
What happened when the wife of a blonde guy had twins?
He asked her who the other man was!
What did the blonde say when told to think about it?
"I don't have to! I'm blonde!"
Why can't blondes be elevator operators?
They can't figure out the route.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
Didja hear about the blonde who was a good cook?
Yeah, she can get the poptarts out in one piece!
Why don't blondes double recipes?
You can't heat the oven to 700 degrees.
Why can't blondes become pharmacists?
They have trouble getting the little bottles into the typewriter.
Why don't blondes call 911 in emergencies?
They can't find the number eleven on the phone buttons.
What does a blonde owl say?
"What? What?"
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK."
Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her trunk?
In case she locks her keys in the car.
To a blonde, what is long and hard?
Fifth grade
What's the definition of gross ignorance?
144 blondes
What do you call a blonde with a leather jacket riding a motorcycle?
Rebel without a clue
What can strike a blonde without her even realizing it?
A thought
What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
Divorced
What do you call four blondes in a volkswagon?
Far-from-thinking
How many blondes did it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
Just one-Boomer Esiason!
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair another color?
Artificial intelligence
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you're supposed to wash vegetables
Why didn't the blonde want the window seat on the plane?
She'd just gotten her hair done and didn't want it to blow around.
Why do blondes wear their hair up a lot?
So they can catch lots of stuff that goes over their heads!
What did the blonde say to the physicist?
"Nuclear fission? What do you use for bait?"
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
So you can park in HANDICAPPED spaces
What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievemant?
An IN-body experience!
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight through her ear!
Why shouldn't blondes be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them!
How can you tell a blonde has been using the computer?
By the white-out all over the screen
How can you tell a second blonde used the computer next?There's writing on the white-out!
Why didn't the blonde like her new computer?
She couldn't get FOX5 or MTV.
Why don't blondes make Jello?
They can't figure out how to get 2 cups of water into that little box!
Why don't blondes eat pickles?
They can't get their heads into the jar.
What's the mating call of the blonde?
I"m SOOOO drunk!
What's the mating call of the ugly blonde?
*screaming* "I said, 'I'm so drunk!'"
What's the brunette's mating call?
All the blondes have left!
How did the blonde die while ice fishing?
She got run over by a Zamboni!
Why do blondes like BMWs?
Because they can spell that make!
Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
Why do blondes put TGIF on their t-shirts?
Tits Go In Front
What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
An interpreter
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block
How do you change a blonde's mind?
(1)You don't. She doesn't have one!
How do you change a blonde's mind?
(2)Blow in her ear
How do you change a blonde's mind?
(3)Buy her another beer
What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
They kiss them and send them to work!
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"
What is it called when one blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
Data transfer
Why do blondes have more fun?
Because it's really easy to amuse them
How many blondes does it take to change a lighbulb?
(1)"What's a lightbulb?"
How many blondes does it take to change a lighbulb?
(2)One. She holds up the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many blondes does it take to change a lighbulb?
(3)Two. One to call Daddy and one to get the Diet Pepsi.
What's a blonde's favorite "wine"?
Daaaaady, I need more moneeeeey!
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What do you call ten blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel
What do you call fifteen blondes in a circle?
A dope ring
Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back?
Why do blondes take the pill?
To see what day of the week it is
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.
Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
She had a blonde boyfriend!
What happens if a blonde gets Alzheimer's?
Her IQ goes up!
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
What does a beer bottle and a blonde have in common?
Both empty from the neck up
How did the blonde drown?
Somebody dropped a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Two. One to mix the dough and one to peel the M&Ms
What's the blonde cheer?
I'm blonde! I'm blonde! B-L-O-U? uh...I'm blonde! Yeah!
What do you get if you offer the blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change
Why did the blonde change her baby's diaper only once a month?
The box said, "Good up to 20 lbs."
How does a blonde try to kill a bird?
By throwing it over a cliff
How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
By drowning it
Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said, "From 2 to 4 years."
How can you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write "Please turn this over" on both sides of a page.
How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
Why do so many blondes die in their homes?
They can't remember the number for 911.
What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes
Why don't blondes breast feed?
Because they burn their nipples when sterilizing
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She would only have sex with men!
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot
What do you call a fly buzzing into a blonde's ear?
Space Invader
What's a blonde's favorite rock group?
Air Supply
What do you see when you look deeply into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head
Why do blondes drive VWs or BMWs?
They can't spell Porsche or Lambourghini!
Why did the blonde laugh on Monday morning?
She finally understood the joke her boyfriend told her Friday night!
What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
What's burnt black and hangs from the ceiling?
A blonde electrician
Why do blondes have see-through lunch boxes?
So that on the train, they'll know if they're going to work or coming home.
How many blondes does it take to play Hide-and-Seek?
Just one
What do you call the skeleton of the blonde found in the closet?
Last year's Hide-and Seek champion
What do you call a smart blonde?
(1)A golden retriever
What do you call a smart blonde?
(2)A sign that you're REALLY drunk
What do you call a smart blonde?
(3)An indication you have a really bad hang-over
Why are blondes hurt by other peoples' words?
Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries!
How can you tell the blonde was making chocolate chip cookies?
By the M&M shells all over the floor
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Give her a bag of M&Ms to alphabetize.
What job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
Proofreader
Why did they fire the blonde proofreader at the M&M factory?
For throwing out all the Ws.
What's the blonde speech impediment syndrome?
They can't say the word NO.
What do you call the blonde on campus?
A visitor
Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
So she wouldn't get "hearing aids."
Why did the blonde take her typewriter to a doctor?
Because it missed a period
What's a blonde's favorite place in a gas station?
The air pump
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
Check her ear with a tire pressure gauge.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her first driver's license?
Because she got an F in sex
Why did the blonde cross the road?
I don't know and neither did she.
What happened when the blonde shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
What happened to the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
What happened to the suicidal blonde?
She dyed by her own hand.
What happened when the wife of a blonde guy had twins?
He asked her who the other man was!
What did the blonde say when told to think about it?
"I don't have to! I'm blonde!"
Why can't blondes be elevator operators?
They can't figure out the route.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
Didja hear about the blonde who was a good cook?
Yeah, she can get the poptarts out in one piece!
Why don't blondes double recipes?
You can't heat the oven to 700 degrees.
Why can't blondes become pharmacists?
They have trouble getting the little bottles into the typewriter.
Why don't blondes call 911 in emergencies?
They can't find the number eleven on the phone buttons.
What does a blonde owl say?
"What? What?"
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK."
Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her trunk?
In case she locks her keys in the car.
To a blonde, what is long and hard?
Fifth grade
What's the definition of gross ignorance?
144 blondes
What do you call a blonde with a leather jacket riding a motorcycle?
Rebel without a clue
What can strike a blonde without her even realizing it?
A thought
What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
Divorced
What do you call four blondes in a volkswagon?
Far-from-thinking
How many blondes did it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
Just one-Boomer Esiason!
For more like this...{BLONDE Jokes}{More BLONDE Jokes}{X-rated BLONDE Jokes}
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