Two blondes are waiting on a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry."

At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, twitters, and bats her eyelashes, and says, "Will it take ME?"

Red Light

A policeman was on patrol when he came upon a line of cars stopped at a light with horns blasting. The light directing that lane of traffic was green. He pulled out of line and stopped alongside of the first car in line to see what the problem was.

The car was driven by a beautiful blonde woman. He asked her why she was stopped when the light was green.

She said, "Oh, because I'm on my way to my sister's house which is that way," and she pointed to the right.

The motorcycle cop said, "Well go ahead! The light is green."

The blonde responded with, "Yes I know, but the sign under the light says RIGHT TURN ON RED."

Two Coats

Sally, a cute blonde, was painting her living room one hot day.

"Why," her friend asked her, "are you wearing two jackets?"

"Because," said Sally, "the directions on the can said to put on two coats."

Lost Dog

Crying her eyes out, the blonde approached the policeman and said that her dog, Fido, was lost. When he suggested that she put an ad in the paper, the blonde replied, "Well, I thought of that, but then I remembered that dear little Fido can't read."

Too Low-Cut

A big-busted blond was trying on an extremely low-cut dress. As she studied herself in the mirror, she asked the sales lady if she thought it was too low-cut.

"Do you have brown hair on your chest?" the saleswoman asked.

"No!" The blonde replied.

"Then," the saleswoman said, "it's too low-cut!"

X-Rated Video

A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen. She got so mad and called the video store to complain.

Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

Blonde: "It's called, Head Cleaner."

Magic Mirror

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie - - *poof* - - you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. Sooooo...

A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirrorand says, " I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *poof* The mirror swallows her.

Next a rather tall brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I don't think I'm that tall." *poof* The mirror swallows her.

Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think...." *poof*

Old guy comes home in the middle of the day, finds his young blonde wife standing in the middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a red G-string, 7 inch steel heels, and the whole apartment is flooded.

"What happened here?" he asks.

"I think the waterbed busted," says the trembling wife.

Just then a naked guy floats by.

"Who's that?" demands the husband.

"I dunno. Must be a lifeguard."

jessie555@hotmail.com

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