C'mon, Ladies...It's Time to Learn the "Male's Rules"
A Little Insight Into What Men Think!
It is only common courtesy for him to leave the seat on the toilet UP when he's done for the next guy that comes along (even if he's the only guy living in the house).
If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
Shopping is not fascinating.
When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking (sort of).
Unless the answer is yes.
In which case, can he videotape it?
If you REALLy want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill.
Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (i.e., Microwaving a burrito, fixing spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.
OF COURSE he wants another beer.
The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.
Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.
Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.
He was not looking at that other girl.
Well, okay...maybe a little.
Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy...
There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "cunt."
He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.
And all your friends think so too, especially the cute ones.
Your (select appropriate item: butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs/clothes) look fine. As a matter of fact it/they look damn good, so stop asking.
Remember, that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.
And finally, two words: Blow Job. (Learn it, live it, love it!)
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